OCR::/Vol_102/WLURG39_RTP_19990927/WLURG39_RTP_19990927_001.2.txt fl U112 Ring-tum {flirt WAsHINGTON AND LEE UNIvERsITY’s WEEKLY NEWSPAPER ‘‘ VOLUME 102, NO. 8 t Server crashes LEXINGTON, VIRGINIA 24450 MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 1999 . plague campus Nearly constant problems with the com- * puter network hobble W&L community By Max Smith & Heather McDonald STA FF WRITERS Frequent crashes continued to plague the Washington and Lee Uni- versity computing network this week, ‘ interrupting classes, erasing student !. assignments, and causing general headaches for the entire W&L com- munity. “I want to drive a hatchet into a computer screen,” said junior LeeAnn Applegate, when asked about Univer- sity computing problems. Students and faculty across cam- 3‘ pus would probably echo that senti- fl, merit after multiple network crashes and hardware problems this academic year. Since the beginning of fall se- mester, the University computing net- work has not gone two full days with- out one or more servers crashing. In fact, the entire system failed on the ¢\ first day of classes and prompted the University Computing Department to post a notice on the Internet the next day explaining the problem. “Much ofthe disruption is related l to the significant expansion in net- work servers installed this summer,” read the notice. “We continue to be- lieve that this expansion, which al- lows the greater segregation of user groups, functions, and applications, will enhance the reliability and qual- ity of our networked services. . .” Director of University Computing 1 John Stuckey said the problem lies within the main student server, named Jefferson, and the academic server, named Madison. These two servers carry the bulk of daily network traf- fic, including e-mail and file—sharing functions. Stuckey says the problem may be the hardware for the network, the software used within the network, ‘ or a combination ofthe two. Student Computing Coordinator Dirk van Assendelft said the process to diagnose the problem is a difficult one. “We’re going through every little piece, but we haven’t gotten to the core problem yet,” van Assendelft said. “Right now there is no silver bullet to solve everything. We’re try- ing to determine what the problem is and how we can fix it.” Stuckey said both Dell, which cre- ated the hardware for the system, and Novell, which created the software used by the system, have been con- sulted about the problems. Also, Uni- versity Computing has brought in technical consultants and specialists for their advice on the network’s troubles. Stuckey said he is confident the system will be up and running smoothly in a few days. Van Assendelft agreed: “After [Friday] morning, I hope they’ll be stable.” Despite University Computing’s attempts to diagnose the problem, students and faculty continue to face the reality ofa faulty network. Journalism professor Claudette Guzan Artwick canceled all of her Television Production labs last week. The lab depends on computers to edit and store video clips and get up-to- date stories from news servers on-line. Due to missed lab time, the Rockbridge Report, which is pro- duced by the class and airs on Chan- nel 2, has delayed its broadcast for a week. “University Computing has been absolutely wonderful trying to re- spond to our needs,” Artwick said. “But I’m also concerned that we have the technical support that we need [in the Journalism labs] so that our classes can be held.” The Commerce School has also seen its share of problems. Commerce School Dean Larry Peppers said that with new technologically interactive classrooms built Over the summer, Commerce School departments are especially at risk when the network crashes. “All we do with computers is de- pendent on the network,” said Pep- pers, “and when the network crashes everything grinds to a halt.” Peppers thinks people have been fairly patient with computing prob- lems and is confident everything will work out. The Tucker Multimedia Center digitalized its language programs over the summer and network crashes have plagued language classes as well. Students had to record their language homework on tape last week. “Out of class preparation by stu- dents has been interrupted,” said TMC Director Dick Kuettner. “But . M’/«,,.¢1«53_:‘}}'»7;*>>,’§"'7?' »Ww~,»xe§ ». .., ~ I ‘£1 photo by Emily Barnes/Photo Editor MEN AND THEIR BEST FRIENDS: Three students and their dogs lounge on the Front Lawn and enjoy one of this year’s last warm days. Theme housing offered Gaines suites opened to students of the same majors, interests it’s a matter of growth by the univer- sity and I think the intentions are good.” Academic Computing and Network Specialist Thomas Ahnemann said everyone should employ ‘fault toler- ance’ when dealing with computers. “You should always have a fall- back technique like using several dif- ferent drives when making a presen- tation,” said Ahnemann. “That way you have the ability to survive the problems a network will have.” Still students hope last week’s fre- quent crashes won’t continue. “Frustrating is the best word to describe the situation,” said Applegate. “[University Computing] knows people are upset, and are working to fix the situation, but I want someone to finally fix the problem!” photo by Emily Bames/Photo Editor FIRST STOP ON THE WORLD TOUR. The legendary Junior Marvin kicked off his world tour with a concert at the Pavillion to a wild crowd and rave reviews on Friday night. By Sara Lambert STAFF WRITER A suite in Gaines where only Ger- man is spoken, or another with Chi- nese characters on the wall could soon be reality. Next year Washington and Lee University will be offering theme suites in Gaines Hall and the Woods Creek apartments for interested jun- iors and seniors. The housing office estimates four to five suites will be unoccupied as a result of the new sorority houses, and is offering them to students interested in pursuing a co-curricular living environment. Assistant dean of students Courtney Penn says he hopes the op- portunity to share common interests will "support the academic mission" of the university. Foreign language majors as well as students involved in religious groups and other clubs, including PRIDE and the Interna- tional House, have been invited to submit requests for theme housing. "It's an interesting idea for Wash- ington and Lee," said International Club president Tom Grove. "It's some- thing other schools have done in the past and it'll be cool to see how it works out here." A meeting will be held this Thurs- day at 6 pm in Gaines Gatehouse for students interested in the The Legend continues Junior Marvin rocks the Pavillion By Sonia Hall STAFF WRITER The lack of a beer garden did not stop reggae lovers who partied from about 9 pm until midnight in the Pa- vilion last Friday. Junior Marvin and friends proved once again that conscious vibes hold a universal language. “I thought it was an awesome concert,” senior Colleen Calvey said. “And now I can say that I'm three Bacon degrees away from Bob Marley.” The opening band, AUG, had en- thusiastic members ofthe audience grooving on stage. AUG replaced the Brazilian band, Djambi, who were unable to enter the US due to immi- gration problems. Marvin carried the crowd with some of his own lyrics plus familiar tunes of the legendary Bob Marley such as “Get Up, Stand Up,” “Wait- ing in Vain,” and “Redemption Song.” “The spirit was high,” said senior Cavelle Johnston, “and everyone was interacting with the band.” Marvin and band-members were pleased with the crowd's reaction throughout the evening. After the show, fans crowded backstage to get autographs from the entertainers. This was Marvin’s first U.S. ap- pearance on his “Burnin’ Love into the Millennium’ world tour. administration's proposal: or with suggestions of their own. The admin- istration is willing to make some physical alterations to the suites to facilitate the learning experience. If students would like to paint therooms or "try something different" Penn said the university would be supportive. Proposals for suites are due to Dean Penn on October 18th. Although members of the Women's Forum and different sorori- ties have occupied suites in the past, some students think the administra- tion overestimates student reaction to the opening of housing to lan- guage majors and other organiza- tions. "I think It's a good idea but I don't see how plausible it's going to be," said Gabrielle Best, "You need to get to the heart ofthe issue, just having theme housing is not going to make us more diverse." Freshman Jane Ledlie also thought it a good idea in theory. However, she said, "1 think it will be tough to get juniors and seniors back on campus. I think the only way to make it work is through financial need." OPINION: W&LIEE: SPORTS: LAST WORD: Beer or Herpes (Uh: Ring-tum iflhi ‘ September 27, 1999 Non-Speaking Traditions Study Abroad; Life Beyond Lex Football comes back with first win of season PAGE 3 PAGE 4 PAGE 5 PAGE 6 OCR::/Vol_102/WLURG39_RTP_19990927/WLURG39_RTP_19990927_002.2.txt s -'-_.s'~‘> \'n‘s'i‘c‘-‘J: wAsH:.«2:;r<.:~r - 4.3.. L£x:NGrorr,vA 2. .. - OCT 0 TQQQ 12 fling-tum MES SEPTEMBER 27, 1999 ! Watson Fellowship meeting tonight An informational meeting for all students interested in the Watson Fellowship will be held tonight at 7 pm in Northen Auditorium. Representatives of the Watson Foundation will be on hand to explain the goals ofthe fellowship, as well as to answer any questions. The Watson Fellowship, which was instituted in 1968, consists ofa $22,000 stipend which is awarded annually to 60 students of select liberal arts colleges around the country. Applicants may design their own proposal, but must sustain 12 months of study abroad, pursuing a specific individual interest. This is Wash- ington and Lee University’s firstiyear as a participating institution. Any further questions may be addressed to profes-‘ sor of spanish Jeff Barnett at x8950 in Tucker Hall, or via e—mail at barnettj@wlu.edu W&L names new undergrad faculty Washington and Lee University has announced the ap- pointment of 35 new undergraduate faculty members. Receiving tenure track positions are Scott J. Boylan, ac- counting; Monica Capra, economics; Christopher D. Connors, geology; Gregory Cooper, director of the Society and Professions program; Kevin M. Crotty, classics; Nathan S. Feldman, mathematics; Sascha Goluboff, sociology and anthropology; Janet Ikeda-Yuba, East Asian languages; Lucas E. Morel, politics; Rance D. Necaise, computer science; David S. Peterson, history; Robert Stewart, psychology; and David W. Sukow, physics and engineering. The following persons received appointments for the 1999- 2000 school year: Bruno Blumenfeld, religion; Christopher Camuto, English; Elizabeth H. Cox ’97, chemistry; Robert S. Culpepper, management; Paul Friedrich, sociology/anthropol- ogy; Jeffrey R. Hart, management; Frank Hobbs, department of art; Thomas E. Jenkins, classics; James Alan Kendrick, politics; Stephen J. Lucey, art; Kellie L. Maske, economics; Michael F. McClure, English; Gerald C. Myers, music; Paul Notaro, psychology; Bill Oliver, English; Richard R. Ruble, economics; Sandra L. Schmidt, economics; James F. Smith, economics; Donald J. Smyth, economics; Carl G. K Weaver, management; Trina Welsheimer, biology; Laura Winkiel, En- glish. Sonoklect to feature jazz legends Washington and Lee University's first Sonoklect con- cert of the year opens with a concert by the jazz group, Sphere. This all-star jazz quartet features pianist Kenny Barron, saxophonist Gary Bartz, drummer Ben Riley and bassist Buster Williams. The free performance takes place in the Lenfest Center on Oct. 2 at 8 p.m. Both Rouse and Riley were key members of Monk’s combo in the 1960s, and the Sphere songbook was originally rife with Monk tunes. This concert is sponsored by the Sonoklect Festival of Modern Music. For more infonnation please call Sonoklect director Terry Vosbein at 463-885 1. Howard to give Shannon-Clark Lecture Jean E. Howard, professor of English and director of the Institute for Research on Women and Gender at C0- lumbia University, will deliver the annual Shannon-Clark Lecture in English at Washington and Lee University on Thursday, Oct. 7 at 8 p.m. The Shannon-Clark Lectures in English, established by a gift from a Washington and Lee alumnus who wishes to remain anonymous, honor the memories of Edgar Finley Shannon, chairman of W&L's English department from 1914 until his death in 1938, and Harriet Mabel Fishbum Clark, a grandmother of the donor and a woman vitally interested in liberal education. 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Jay outside t/ie C0-Op and tfie (D-ifaffl Awareness {Month is .1. ‘M2 have the Foresight to set goals and the determination to meet them. You have the creative spirit to take your own ~ ideas, implement them and make them work. You've got what it takes to head to the top with a rewarding career in retail. Hecht's, a division at The May Department Stores Company, has a place For you. Hecht's invites you to_explore the opportunities in our Executive Training Program. Show us your style, your passion tor excellence, and we'll show you an exciting career. W//new meow» «'4» rv0Torvz7_ 7/T3 0 Buying 0 Corporate Finance Come and see us at the University Center Room T09 on Tuesday, October 5th, 6 p.m. - 7 p.m. FOOD, FUN AND MORE! COME CASUAL! TIIF. \l \\ |)F,l'\ll'I‘\1l'I\'l' ."l'(lRl*.\‘ I H\ll'\\\ _ , _ ,_ . tgggr .J;:p3,rt_Jm,x),r Cr",{jlCr\v;_j.r To Find out more about opportunities at Hecht's, visit www.maycompany.com OCR::/Vol_102/WLURG39_RTP_19990927/WLURG39_RTP_19990927_003.2.txt r 0 2 filing-tmn lflhi 1 SEPTEMBER 27, 1999 . A yearly lament to the non-Speaking Tradition there with Late-Nite. There are people that l’ve never been fonnally introduced to, but because we’ve always said hi to PAGE 3 Usually this tirade comes later in the year, when the Washing- you isn’t a matter of making conversation with them or telling ton and Lee community becomes jaded and bored by everything them off It’s acknowledging the other person’s presence. It’s orientation, or maybe people are simple forgetful. There was a time when a committee of students could punish you for we supposedly hold dear. Unfortimately, it needs to be said now: SPEAK! For those of you not “in the know,” there’s this little thing that good ol’ Gen- '‘ ~.,__ eral Lee started here when he was presi— ‘ “"‘ dent. Known as the “Speaking Tradi- tion,” it makes clear that this is not just a college but a community A of civility in which we acknowledge each other. We say hello when we pass each other on the grounds, intown, wherever. It seems that someone declared a moratorium on the speaking tradition and didn’t tell me. Saying hello to the people passing by Dieting causes befuddlement One of the greatest manifestations of adolescent hypoc- risy can be best illustrated through observing our reaction to food and its respective consumption. On average, most teenage girls watch their weight more religiously than they watch “Friends”. (Okay, enough. I can already hear all you “secure in body image” types vehe- mently protesting. On average, being the operative phrase.) And yet, our self-proclairned fear of the Freshman 15 yields the epitome of self contradiction. For example, there are al- ways those who roll up to Q- McDona1d’s Northern Exposure and order a L A3 - - 7 #5 with the g I Kns Pollma 03 works and a . Diet Coke. This confounds me. We are more or less saying, “I’ll have an order of lard on a roll, a side of bacon fat, and pork grease for dessert.” And then I suppose the Diet Coke represents some weak consolation, a perverted reassurance that hey, I may not be poster girl for model dietary habits, but, as depicted by my Diet Coke, I am maintaining a modicum of health. The only assumption I can draw from said observa- tions is that we girls diet merely to identify ourselves as members of the female race. (Otherwise, all we have is our addiction to shopping and Double Mint gum). Regardless, even more amusing and unduly hypocritical is our love/hate relationship with the Great American Institu- tion: Beer. On the one hand: “Yeah, I’m going to the D-hall to get a salad, cup o’ water, and maybe a whole wheat bread crumb.” On the other hand: “Dude, you want a beer, dripping I with less than health conducive substances and a triple digit caloric content?” “Hmmm...okay, I’m D.” My sister once said to me, “If you’re gonna be obese, you might as well go the whole nine and be really obese. Relish in the fact that you can eat what you want.” And to those girls who fall into the “Don’t-you-hate-me-I-can-eat—whatever-l- " want-and-never-gain-wait” genre, it’ 11 catch up to you. (Edi- torial comment: “Genre” is the most pretentious sounding word in the world, second only to “cliche.” End editorial comment.) Regardless. I personally feel there’s no diet like coffee and cigarettes. All four food groups may not be wholly represented, but if you don’t get your National Nutritional Quota (who makes up these terms?) then at least you can look profound and poetic, hit up The Ruse, and spew in- sightful comments about Allen Ginsberg or something. Can you same the same for chicken fingers? Thus , I marvel at the great folly of our adolescent duality, our desire to run with the YM subscribers and pour Nutra Sweet into our tea, (tea: both speeds up your metabolism and curbs your appetite) in conflict with our ravenous craving for french fries, beer, and adolescent conformity. Ellie ‘fling-tum ifllii Executive Editor Associate Editor News Editor Opinions Editor W&I.ife Editors Polly Doig Hollister Hovey Michael Crittenden Stephanie Bianco Ginger Phillips Elianna Marziani Frances Groberg Steele Cooper Kevin McManemin Sports Editor Assistant Sports Editor Last Word Editor COP)’ Editor Heather McDonald Photo Editor Emiiy games Assistant Photo Editor Lisa Lin Online Editor Ali soydan Layout Editor Neal Willetts Circulation Director Leo Brown The Ring-tum Phi is published Mondays during the undergraduate school year at Washington and Lee University, Lexington, VA. Funding for The Ring-tum Phi comes primarily from advertising and subscription revenues. The Washington and Lee Publications Board elects the Executive Editor, but The Ring-tum Phi is otherwise independent. The Ring-tum Phi welcomes all responsible submissions and letters. All submissions must be in the Phi office, room 208 of the University Center, by noon on Friday to appear in that week’s edition. The Ring- tum Phi reserves the right to edit submissions for’content and length. Letters and columns do not reflect the opinion of The Ring-tum Phi Editorial Board. Advertising does not reflect the opinions of The Ring-tum Phi or its staff. This newspaper observes current court definitions of libel and obscenity. The Ring-tum Phi 208 University Center Washington and Lee University Lexington, VA 24450 Telephone: (540) 462-4060 Advertising Office: (540) 462-4049 ‘Fax: (540) 462-4059 E-mail: phi@wIu.edu http://wlu. edu/~phi Annual subsription rate: $30 , Coffee Talk Heather McDonald or a not that hard. I find it incredibly insulting when I make eye-contact with a fellow stu- dent or even a professor, and I say “Hello!” and the other person simply looks away and keeps walking. Why is it so difficult to muster “Hello,” “Hi,” even a “whussup?” We go to a very small school, and we just about all know each other anyway. People continually gripe about the loss of tradi- tion at W&L, how we’re changing too fast... yet these are the same people who can’t seem to speak! This was one of my favorite things about W&L, right up each other, we know the other person. I personally like know- ing the people that are on campus with me. That gives me a sense of security unparalleled at any other school. In light of the fear that has pervaded the campus recently because of the assault of a student two weeks ago, the speaking tradition can overcome some of the distrust. Picture this: you’re walking out at night to an academic building. Who do you feel more comfortable around—the person who returns your greeting so that you know they are of the W&L community, or the persoh who scuttles by without acknowledging you? Maybe we didn’t emphasize it enough during freshman LETTER TO THE EDITOR Phi writer has his ‘eyes wide shut’ Dear Editor, The Ring—Tum Phi has never been expected to keep our somewhat de- tached campus informed of contem- porary artistic trends; in fact, it’s a miracle if you can manage to spell your headlines correctly. But your publication of Brian Prisco’s latest ill-conceived attempt at a film review is downright offensive. “Eyes Wide Shut” stands easily among Stanley Kubrick’s finest ac- complishments. His dreamlike film depicts a man overcome with anger and confusion, coaxed into a world he can’t understand, accept, or re- sist. The cinematography, painted like a canvas of tempting natural lights and mysterious blue urban hues, plays the perfect background to a fascinating cast of characters unable to control their surroundings or predict their responses. The film makes brilliant use of real-time in- teractions and well-placed musical cues, as well as excellent perfor- mances from Nicole Kidman and Sydney Pollack as two of Dr. Bill Harford’s (Tom Cruise) ambiguously antagonistic counterparts. No Brian, there aren’t that many boobies to gawk at; I guess you and the rest of the subscrib- ers to People magazine can cry about your lost seven dollars. Let those who understand (or have the attention span for) modern cinema write the reviews. You and the rest of the Phi editors probably are “better off renting porno”; but don’t slander the name of one of our century’s greatest artists simply because you don’t have the guts to admit you don’t understand this film. Thanks, Matt LaMotte - ’00 - Wanna write for The Ring-- fum P/1/? Come to the Editorial Board meeting - Tuesday 7pm University Center room 208 TALKback... “Um...lwent grocery shopping.” -Warren Meehan ’00 “I was selling drinks. It was quite snappy- you felt like dancing and moving around, a not ‘l.III<|!||‘ nu mm ‘ :“.‘.:‘. in ‘ii I l 1‘ I l\| III In in “mi II‘ II : mu. mu: I15“ "viii ' 3 iiiiii ' iii{I{.'§§:'i'\\ \‘\:Hi‘ | the music was THAT good.” -Aditya Chandraghatgi ’03 “I had some good, solid Jamaican fun.” -Cavelle Johnston ’00 not wearing a coat-and-tie, or keeping up the speaking tradi- tion. That’s not quite right in my book, but it sure kept the speaking tradition alive. You may not like a lot of things about W&L, but simply saying hello should not be your main point of contention with the school. There is only one way that speaking tradition will con- tinue, no matter how many editorials we write about it. Every- one must try to continue to speak. For those of you who already speak, don’t get discouraged; for those of you who seem to have forgotten about the speaking tradition, it’s time to remember. Speak. No, Wal-mart doesn’t count Sitting in my room late last Thursday afternoon, I pondered means of procrastination. After cleaning my room (including alphabetizing my CD collection), paint- ing my fingernails (and, what the heck, toenails too), and emailing my friends from home (all three of them), I was left with but one innate and reasonable impulse: Go shopping! No, not Wal-Mart shopping, but f u ii d a m e n ta 1 shopping,‘ the sort that takes place in the climate controlled haven of a sprawling mall. The sort where one communes with greasy Chinese at food courts, pushy salesgirls on commission and the soothing sound of printing receipts. This is an appalling deficiency in Lexington. One can only have so many pieces ofhandmade pottery or Civil War memorabilia in a dorm room. How can it be that this college town is lacking in the most basic of collegiate establishments. In other words, no Gap, no Abercrombie, no Aeropostale, no Limited, no J. Crew, no American Eagle, no Old Navy, no Borders, no Barnes & Noble, no Wiz, no Strawberries, no Body Shop...you get the idea. In fact Lexington “Business District” doesn’t even sup- port a Starbucks. According to one anonymous freshman, “shopping here sucks.” The closest we come to civilization is...ta da...Roanoke. Yeah, no kidding. Can’t wait to find that homecoming dress. Actually, it is gangegonomic disad- vantage to the town that with so many well-off stu- dents there are so few places to shop. I’m not just talking about the functional problems with shopping in Lexington, however. Malls, or for that matter any national chain store, bring us back in con- tact with real life. Shopping is a cultural experience. Whether it’s thumbing through a rack of pants to find your size or browsing the shelves of books and stop- ping for a cappuccino, the satisfaction of being among material items can be as refreshing as returning to na- ture after some time in the city. I think it all stems form when we were children and we would return home with our assorted packages and, if you were like me, line up our acquisitions and look proudly on them as reflections of our choices and indi- viduality. I always had to wear a new outfit to school the next day or listen to a new CD over and over. I may question the desirability ofa society so finnly rooted in commercialism, but I do not question its veracity. Now, when our identity is so defined by our style, we have no outlets to which to turn. My conclusion, dear readers, is as superficial as it is true: Both Lexington and W&L students would benefit from an invasion of mainstream commercial stores. Heaven Forf end Sara Lambert ’05 ‘uote of the Week: {I Was Naked Girl’ 3 nakedness welcome at Chi Psi? — Curious senior guy J} What do you think about the n Junior Marvin concert? ‘:.;. in I ‘V Hal “I hadndinner with the band. It was awesome and the band was friendly.” -Mina Oh ’02 OCR::/Vol_102/WLURG39_RTP_19990927/WLURG39_RTP_19990927_004.2.txt @112 ifling-Gum iflhi ;, W& IFE PAGE 4 SEPTEMBER 27, 1999 W&L in rearview mirror: experience life abroad By Sarah Sturtz STAFF WRITER The Eiffel Tower looms taller than the Colonnade, the mahogany dining halls at Oxford are older than those in Evans Dining Hall and the German beer bears little resemblance to Natty Light. Experiences such as these can be- come reality for many students by tak- ing advantage of the myriad of study abroad programs of- fered through Wash- ington and Lee Uni- versity. The Office of International Educa- tion provides stu- dents with the oppor- tunity to study in a variety of different countries in order to gain these and other new perspectives. “There are tons of opportunities with studying abroad,” said senior Sara Kate Goodwin, who spent last spring term in Paris. “It opens your mind. You can learn about different cul- tures and see part of the world that you haven’t seen be- fore.” The number of W&L students who study abroad increases each year. There were over 100 students who participated in the W&L study abroad programs last spring term and an additional 100 that participated in programs not directly affiliated with the University. On Sept. 22, numerous W&L stu- dents visited the tables at the annual Study Abroad Fair. This allowed stu- dents a further chance to find out about various programs and countries where they could study abroad. “I want to see something new and get out of Lexington,” sophomore Stuart Noel said, explaining his inter- Klingelhofer, director of International Education, said. According to Dr. Klingelhofer, there is a threefold benefit for students who wish to study abroad. Students can learn more about culture and improve their language skills. They can also learn subjects through foreign educational systems and with students from all over the world. Finally, it is an opportunity for personal growth and for learning est in studying abroad. Sophomore Tarik Bateh said he was looking for an “enriching experi- ence” in either Spain or Florence. “We encourage all students to have an international experience while here [at W&L],” Dr. William photo courtesy Maggie Maher Seniors Maggie Maher and Meghan Mazour in a town- ship outside Cape Town, South Africa. how to adapt to new environments. The subject of a study abroad trip does not have to be affiliated with a student’s major. It could simply be an opportunity to ex- plore a different in- terest. “It depends on what you want to get out of the experi- ence,” said Dr. Klingelhofer. Sometimes stu- dents get more than they bargained for out of their experi- ence abroad. They are left, however, with some great stories. Senior Maggie Maher participated in the Semester at Sea program and vis- ited eleven different countries. On a safari she woke up to find jag- uar prints outside her tent and saw li- ons that were only ten feet away. Lex gets taste of Manhattan By Emily Barnes PHOTO EDITOR Without the fanfare of a bustling metropolis, a little eatery with a big name crept into the heart of Lexington Saturday. Manhattan Hot Dog Company, lo- cated at 3 West Nelson Street, offers a selection of tortilla “International gourmet edge. The bagels are New York gourmet bagels; customers have the choice of onion, plain, seeded, or garlic flavors. Bagel Sandwiches are “over- stuffed” with chicken or shrimp salad, and the selection of “Wrapps” include spinach, herb and garlic, and tomato basil torti- llas. The hot dog is “Nathan’s Fa- pepperjack cheese and roasted pep- pers, there seems to be something for everybody. One local customer summed up Monty’s eclectic mix of flavors: “It’s not your typical wrap sandwich.” Monty is making his selection of beverages just as interesting and varied as the food on the menu. He plans on serving a selection Wrapps” sandwiches, bagel sandwiches, and “Nathan’s Famous Hot Dogs.” The menu is a change from the food of other Lexington es- tablishments, and that is ex- actly what owner Frank Monty wanted. “That was my big thing,” Monty said. “I didn’t want to compete with anybody. I wanted something different and unique.” If his role as restaurant , .s..-5 ’C""‘ *-—--—-—-—— of fresh fruitjuices and fruit Smoothies, as well as giving the cus- tomer a choice of six protein boosters. Fruit, sherbet and yogurt are also on the menu. The eatery had a “soft opening” on Satur- day, Monty said, in or- der to get things running smoothly before the grand opening on Oct 2. Monty is hoping to columnist for The Rockbridge Weekly is any indication, Monty under- stands good food, as well as the need for new and exciting eating options in Lexington. The new eatery fills the absence for what seems to be one of today’s trendiest food stores — the bagel shop. “That’s typical of any college com- munity that there’s bagel shops, and I’m surprised that there are none here in Lexington,” said Monty. The Manhattan Hot Dog Company is much more than your typical bagel shop, providing a mix of foods with a mous Hot Dog” from New York, and is served on a Soft Philadelphia Pretzel Bun. For those who may not be fans of the great American dog, one of the tortilla “International Wraps” may hit the spot. With unusual selections such as the Nova Scotia, a delicious mix of smoked salmon, asparagus and cream cheese, and the Bourbon Street with its blackened chicken, photo by Emily Barnes/Photo Edit; The new restaurant in town, The Manhattan Hot Dog Company, oflicially opened its doors on Sept. 18. attract a crowd with a hot—dog-eating contest on that day. He is searching for five women and five men to compete. The contestant in each group who can eat the most hot dogs in five minutes will win a $20 gift certificate to the shop. Those interested in entering the contest should call 464-1501, and anyone interested in some great, unique food should stop by Lexington’s newest culinary addi- tion, The Manhattan Hot Dog Com- pany. Are you considering theological education? Meet With an admissions representative from , i*,|'i_',3II:E.&_Zf:,E.§_C -I-IARVARD DIVINITY SCHOOL THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 30 4:30 P.M. — 6:30 P.M. REEVES CENTER ‘Learn about our graduate programs, including the Master of Divinity __and the Master of Theological Studies, and about related resources Within Harvard University’s other graduate faculties and the nine-school Boston Theological Institute. ALL STUDENTS, ALL MAJORS AND ALL YEARS WELCOME For more information, contact the Office of Admissions and Financial Aid at (617) 495-5796 or consult the Harvard Divinity School website at bttp://www.}Jds.baroarc£edu photo courtesy of Ginger Phillips The students who participated in the W&L Spring Term study abroad program in Spain took a break from their language studies to party the night away at the annual fair, or Feria, in El Puerto de Santa Maria. “We were in Beijing when the U.S. accidentally bombed the embassy in China,” she said of another unique ex- perience on the trip. There are a variety of different ways to study abroad. A student can partici- pate with one of the Washington and Lee exchange programs in the U.K., Ja- pan, China (Hong Kong), and Germany. One can also participate in an ap- proved study abroad program directed by another university or private organi- zation, directly enroll in a foreign univer- sity or go for a summer job, internship or volunteer opportunity abroad. There_is also a unique experience for W&L students called Spring Term Abroad. This is for W&L students who go to a different country accompanied by W&L faculty members. There are eight Spring Term Abroad programs planned for spring 2000 varying from studying the language and culture in Spain to studying plant taxonomy in Costa Rica. Junior Jeff Sloan went to Spain for the 1999 spring term. He is not a Span- ish major but has a strong interest in Spain and saw the trip as an opportu- nity to further his communication skills. He was also able to live with three dif- ferent families during his stay. When asked if he would recommend it to other W&L students, he responded, “Highly! I loved it and hope I can go back.” “The experience was really wonder- ful,” said junior Sam Evans, who went on the same trip. “I learned a lot about my culture and myself, plus the night life was great.” He added that study- ing abroad is something every student should do. The study abroad program is open to any student provided they have a 2.5 GPA,~although seniors must request permission. Any interested student should call or visit the Office of Inter- national Education to explore his or her areas of interest and the wide range of study abroad possibilities available. T 6:30 p.m. Upcoming events Monday, September 27“ 12:00 p.'m. Volunteer Fair for Rockbridge Area Service Agency. Stemmons Plaza. * Junior Leadership Council’s Class of ‘ 2001 Party. Liberty Hall Ruins. I ‘ j I gree applications for June 2000 L _ j ‘ V i » I due: University Registrar's Office, 7:00 pm. WatsonFellowship informational ' Reidflau meeting. Northen Auditoriuinw . ' .1 V‘ I ‘ - I _. _ A, ~ I ' dturdoy, October’ 2 8:00 Pm’ C°n°°“G“fldf“Chamb°"M“s‘9‘S°°i' L -00*a.m.” ”:.Tennis (M). Southeast Regional. « etyofLii1colnCenter.”Ke1ler*. i I j 3 m.SityC0um_ Thea'I°= Lenfest Cemer‘ Sonoklectz Sonoklect. “Sphere.” ’ . -. , , . ~ » ‘ , _Ke1ler Theatre, Lenfest Center. Tuesday, September 28 I A. 10:00 P_m_ 5 g0,spmy_KA. . 00 am. 4 (M). W&L vs. Sweet‘Bria.r. «Libeny.Hai1 Field. L oheri--S1 1 ,}}Sunday,i October 3 ’ Tennis (M). Southeast Regional. L «Varsity Courts. 3 W. Nelson St. 540-464-1501 Lexington, VA 24450 “We’re more than just hot dogs; we also serve fresh bagels, ‘International Wrapps’and high protein smoothie.” Mon. - Thurs. 8:00a.m. - 7:00p.m. Fri. - 8:00a.m. - 9:00p.m. Sat. - 11:00a.m. - 9:00p.m. OCR::/Vol_102/WLURG39_RTP_19990927/WLURG39_RTP_19990927_005.2.txt PAGE 5 S @112 filing-tum lfllri PORTS SEPTEMBER 27, 1999 ‘? Generals pull rank on Colonels Football Grabs First Win 23-17 Field Hockey has goals By Steele Cooper SPOR Ts EDITOR By Frances Groberg SR0RI:sEDIroR “I felt like a man among boys out there,” said senior Michael Moore. That was the tone from the driven and aggressive W&L football team as they defeated the Colonels of Centre Col- lege on Saturday. The Generals once again found themselves down early in the game. Centre picked up a 10-0 lead with 6:54 in the first half. W&L cut into that lead with :19 remaining when senior quarterback Christian Batcheller hit freshman tight end Davis White with the four-yard pass. On their first drive of the second half W&L jumped into the lead on the four-yard run from junior running back Marc Watson. Watson opened up that opportunity with " his 53-yard run to open the series. W&L’s final score to seal the victory came when Batcheller scampered into the endzone from 1 1 yards out. That made the final score 23-17. Watson once again led the offense for the Generals. He posted 1 18 yards on 21 carries and had one touchdown on the day. The Generals’ defense had an outstanding day on Sat- urday racking up a school record seven sacks. Moore tal- lied four of those himself. “After the last two games we really had something to prove,” Moore said. “The defensive backs covered their receivers and the linebackers made their tackles. Their of- fensive line was bigger than we were but we were so much quicker. They couldn’t handle our stunt plays.” “The defense stepped up and came through when we needed them to. Now that we’ve got momentum off of this win we are going to make it carry over in our next games,” said White. The Generals felt that the Colonels were a tougher team than the last two opponents they had faced. “They were more aggressive than Guilford and Stronger than both Guilford and Hopkins. They just didn’t want it as bad as we did,” said Watson. The game was a virtual must-win situation for the Gen- erals due to the fact it was considered a conference game. “We had to win this if we wanted to get to where we wanted to go,” said Watson. The Generals will try to continue to ride the momentum they gained from Saturday’s win when they travel to Macon next Saturday. Washingtori and Lee is undergoing some/heavy changes in the wake of its 250th year. Sorority housing',ja parking garage, and a new student center are allin the plan as the school charges into the next century. Amidst " all of this is a group ofwomen who would like to add their. , I names under the list of “things tocome.” The club field “ hockey team is looking to be elevated to varsity After speaking with Athletic Director Mike Walsh and submitting a proposal for varsity status last spring, , the team was told that in order to be added to thelist 9 ,of varsity sports at W&L, the field hockey program f . ‘would have to show that it could sustain student in- , ggterest. For this club season, that has meant increasing 8 the number of games the team played and seeking out the coaching skills of Laurie Stagnitta and third. year ~,,_j,f.j_law_,student Beth Horowicz. _ V ‘ , I Helping the team’s’ cause right now is the fact that" 7 field hockey is already established as a sport within I the ODAC. y “We have thirteen games on our schedule, seven of , which are against established varsity teams,” junior cap- , tain Martha Combrooks said. “We have 22 dedicated players this year. I have high hopes for the season.“ Walsh explains that there is a lot involved in adding a new varsity sport to the program. In addition to stu- dent interest, issues such as field space, coaches’ sal- ary, travel expenses, and uniforms must be considered. “We don’t want to institute a new varsity ‘program and the turn our backs on them. We want to be able to pro- I vide the same services as we currently do for all varsity teams,” Walsh said. , Field space is one of the crucial issues involving add- . another varsity team at W&L. 'lhe five year plan 1‘ includes an agenda thatwould addressthis problem. : ..Redoing the current practice fields, reclaiming the base- . A ball field left vacant by the new stadium, and puttipg down an artificial turf field with full lighting capabilities ' are all plans for the future. I I Walsh said that having the fields finished is not a * f prerequisite for the field hockey team’s elevation to var- : sity status. “We would just have to work something else ». _ out until more field space becomes available,” he said. - .A<§<.1ing field hockey to W.&L?s vqrsitypr:9arsn.a.s2.u1s1,.; Ashlad, Virginia to take on the Yellow Jackets of Rando1ph- 5“ ‘" ”~’ ”‘"~;*' er’: I , I ' 2 . f I 5 ’ 2 ,_ *5 " an t "‘/'" es/W old Members of the club field hockey team, in search of varsity” status, practice diligently. have very positive effects for all women’s sports. Sopho- more Courtenay Fisher had to make a tough decision about sports when she was choosing a school. “I decided to go to a Division-III school so that 1 could play tow varsity sports. I was disappointed that W&L did not have a var- sity field hockey program, but I liked the school so much thatl decided to come and play club.” Other recruits may not make the same decision. “I have met so many recruits who wanted to play both field hockey’ I and lacrosse on the varsity level, so they wound up going somewhere else,” senior lacrosse captain Katherine Riddle _ said. acknowledged that the traditional carryover. between the two is anfotherconsideration in the decision to elevate‘. field hockey to varsity status. There is no set date for the addition of field hockey as a varsity sport, though it has been discussed exten- sigely within tlip University Athletic Committee. Corribrooksi had grispeiis an , eiiteam. would be varsity . by the fall of 2000, but the remains unsure. “It’s not an issueabout whether the team will even- tually go varsity, but when we can feasibly do it,” Walsh ’ Pointed 0’-.11;/' 82,5] 4 e clubfield take on Ferrum Col- : .*¢8s:9sT"¢s4aésP thslaw a*4=°°~ Volleyball wins Invitational, defeats Bridgewater By Steele Cooper SROR TS EDITOR The W&L volleyball team contin- ued their streak of dominating play this week. Over the weekend, the Gen- erals took the title at the Maryville In- vitational. They also won their only ODAC match of the week against Bridgewater(l5-12, 15-12, 15-12). During the opening round of the Invitational in Maryville, Tennessee on Friday the Generals fell to Savan- nah College of Art and Design in a close 5 game match (9-15, 15-9, 16-14, 11-15,21-23). Senior Nancy Reinhart tallied 12 kills and dug 26 of SCAD’s attacks. She was joined by sophomore Lind- say Ruckert who had 17 kills and 14 digs. “It was a really good game,” said All-Toumament Team Member sopho- more Lee Charbonet. “We were so deep in the rally scored fifth game that it really could have gone either way.” Savannah College of Art and De- sign have been regulars at the NCAA tournament in the past several years. “Two or three years ago SCAD killed us. We’ve definitely improved our game,” said Charbonet. The Generals upped their record to 7-2 later on Friday with a win over East- ern Mennonite (16-18, 15-8, 15-10, 10- 15, 15-10). Ruckert led the Generals with 16 kills and 18 digs. Reinhart tallied 10 kills and 12 digs. Junior Katherine Kline and Jun- ior Pam Saulsbury led the setters with 31 and21 assists, respectively. Saturday the Generals defeated both Westminster College (15-13, 7-15, 15-6, 16-14) and Maryville College (7- 15, 15-9, 15-9, 15-9) to seal the touma- ment win. Charbonet and Ruckert were named to the All-Toumament Team. “We’re off to a good start and getting our- selves together as a team. This was a big win for us,” said Charbonet. Wednesday, W&L won their third straight ODAC match and kept their conference record untamished. The Generals defeated Bridgewater (15-12, 15- 12. 15-12). W&L has yet to drop a game to any ODAC opponent and their ODAC streak is up to 16 dating back to 1997. The Generals, overwhelming favor- ites to repeat as ODAC champions, will receive an automatic bid to the NCAA tournament if they do win ODAC’s. “We’re taking this one step at a time,” said Charbonet. “We’re concentrating on winning ODAC’s but we can see the national tournament in our sights.” The Generals take on Randolph- Macon Women’s College on Tuesday Bad luck hits men’s soccer in the Warner Center. Women’s soccer 1-3 for week By Robert Turner STAFF WRITER By Frances Groberg SPORTS EDITOR The Washington and Lee men’s soccer team had a frustrating week, losing to VMI and Virginia Wesleyan. The Generals traveled to Virginia Wesleyan looking for their first ODAC victory, but returned home with another loss. The Marlins scored first on a penalty kick, but senior Jamie Parker quickly evened the score on a powerful shot only minutes later. The Marlins added another goal early in the second half, but the Generals again tied the game on a Parker penalty kick. The match appeared headed to overtime, but with less than ten minutes left, the Generals had some bad luck. As W&L defense tried to clear the ball, the referee got in the way, allowing Virginia Wesleyan to score. “It was one of the greatest shots I have ever seen” senior Scott LeToumeau said. The Marlins added another goal before the game ended. Despite the loss, the Generals feel as if they played well against ODAC power Virginia Wesleyan. “We played well the whole game, and just got a little unlucky at the end,” sophomore Andrew Grimes said. W&L also suffered a tough loss on Wednesday against VMI 1-0, even though the Generals outshot the Cadets 13-9. The team plays at home against Hampden-Sydney on Wednesday starting at 4:00. The Washington and Lee women’s soccer team suf- fered a snag in their season this week, losing two out of three games. The Generals had problems on Sunday against Meth- odist, losing 4-1 despite outshooting their opponents 27- 7. Their difficulties seemed to revolve around Methodist player Jill Catron, who was able to score a hat trick. Sophomore Drew Powers scored the only goal of the game for W&L at 84: 10, drawing the Generals within a 3-1 score. The team’s weekend problems started with their loss to North Carolina Wesleyan by a score of 3-0. The Battlin‘ Bish- ops opened the scoring just 4:28 into the match. Though the Generals stayed within one goal going into halftime, thanks to 1 1 saves from senior goalie Stephanie McKnight, the Bishops Scored twice during the second half. The Bishops outshot the Generals 20-4. The bright spot for the team this week came on Wednes- day, when W&L defeated Eastern Mennonite 2-0. Senior defender Ansley Miller scored at the 43:40 mark, andjun— ior Margaret-Hunter Turner clinched the win with her goal at64:30. The Generals return to action on September 30. against Sweet Briar College. Gametime is set for 4:30 in Lexington. '71 \l . ‘My body is Y2K compatible... How about yours?” Omega f/71'/12 es: 6 e12/er STUDENT SPECIAL ) IN FULL $199 PA _ OR _ $29 PER MONTH FOR A FULL SCHOOL YEAR! 0 AIR CONDITIONED FACILITIES o 30 AEROBICS CLASSES PER WEEK o OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK o BODY MASTERS EQUIPMENT o HAMMER STRENGTH EQUIP- MENT o 22 PIECES OF CARDIOVASCULAR EQUIPMENT o PRO SHOP o TANNING SPECIALS o LOCKERS o SHOWERS Special ends September 31, call now 464-9060 for club tour! OCR::/Vol_102/WLURG39_RTP_19990927/WLURG39_RTP_19990927_006.2.txt aluminum cans LAST WORD 5 ‘'5 en §3E;- PAGE 6 E 2 SEPTEMBER 27, 1999 g At’l 1W By Kevin MCManemin Huh. . I i _ Art) where we’d spend the day star- percent (don’t.make me do the math) Johnston (of the woefully unfunny EGGNOG ENTHUSIAST Maybe Glllllanl has apolnt. mg at a painting of a big blue square of the population had access to mus1- sitcom Third Rock from the Sun )not < 0 > I know what a bunch ofqyoung hipsters we all are at W&L and how deeply we’re concerned about the art world and its. . . no, I’m sorry, Ithought I could deliver that with a straight face but it didn’t work. I mean come on, most of you people’s idea of fine art is the bear painting on the Kodiak dip can. But let us imagine for a moment that we are artistically “hip” and “with it” enough that when we hear the words “MOMA” or “Dada” we think of the art world and not our parents. It might concern us, then, that Mayor Rudy “Kingpin” Giuliani tl1reat- ened to withhold $7 million in funding from the Brooklyn Museum of Art in one of the worst cases of censorship since last week at the Phi office when the executive editor wouldn’t even let me say “” in my column. The artist under fire this time is up- and-coming British painter Chris Ofili, winner of last year’s prestigious Turner Grant of £20,000 (that’s, like, $35,000 in real money). As noted by the BBC news online, “Giuliani is par- ticularly offended by Chris Ofili’s painting The Holy Virgin Mary, which incorporates his trademark elephant dung.” Now I’m not offended by religious mockery; in fact, I think we need much more of it in our society. I am, how- ever, offended by the phrase “his trademark elephant dung.” HIS TRADEMARK ELEPHANT DUNG! First of all, what kind of bizarre trademark office would you have to go to to patent that? And second of all, what are the possible aesthetically pleasing aspects of elephant dung? Painting with animal feces is like mak- ing music with bagpipes —— it’sjust a bad idea, OK? The most truly offensive thing about this exhibit, though, is the fact that it’s not even remotely original. The religious imagery + biological waste = easy shock value equation has been well-mined in the art world, memora- bly with Andres Serrano’s “Piss Christ,” a crucifix suspended in a jar of urine. Hey, does anybody remember the days when art used to be about mak- ing objects of timeless beauty, rather than just relieving yourself in a jar? But then again, what do I know? My only experience with the art world was through the yearly compulsory sub- urban-Jersey-kid school field trips to MOMA, (that stands for, of course, Mammothly Overpriced Mediocre and trying to figure out why in the name of holy hell that canvas is now worth more than a Ferrari. I think we’ve all looked at modern art at one time or an- other and said the same four words: “I could do this” (or ‘ one of its popular variations, “my two- year-old nephew could do this” or “my retarded Golden Re- triever could do this”). And that, es- sentially, is the prob- lem with the art world. It’s just too easy for people to follow their dreams these days. It’s not just the vi- sual arts that are suf- fering. Thanks to word processors, writing the Great American Novel no longer requires years of dedication and hard work. Anyone with a couple of weekends to spare could churn out an- other sappy, ill-plotted Oprah’s Book Club special and find their way to the top of the NY Times Bestseller list. In Bach’s day, maybe 1/2 ofl/3 of] Never trust your mother By Geoff White THIRD YEAR FRESHMAN pass, you can’t come in the state. Now get in the bath.” Amazing! “What if you come by plane?” Ok, let’s get this straight. Since I’m going to be making fun of each and every one of you throughout the year, (Editor ’s note: not bloody likely) say- ing things like this year’s freshman are even worse looking than last year’s, etc., I figured it would only be fair to share a story with you. A very, very, embarrassing story. I was about eight years old when I took my first trip to Florida, the land of sunshine and illegal aliens. A few days before we left, my mother told me to get in the bath because I was so filthy, they wouldn’t even let me in the state. “Really? They can keep you from en- tering Florida if you’re not clean?” I asked my dear mother. “Yes,” she said. “They have a clean-check at the border. If you don’t This week we tried to answer the age-old question: “They won’t let you out of the air- port if you’re not clean,” she replied. “What if you come by boat?” “The Coast Guard checks you when you come in to dock,” mummy dearest replied. Since we have yet to master teleportation, this avenue was not discussed. It could mean serious enforcement problems in the future. . . Anyway, the big day came and we drove down to Florida, the land of sun- shine and really smelly cities. And since we were on the interstate, there was a rest stop right past the state line. Mom told me and dad to wash our hands “just in case,” while she went in to the welcome center. Unbe- knownst to me, while dad and I were preparing to face the inspection, my kind and loving mother was in the welcome center brib- ing the orange juice girl behind the counter to perform a clean check. I came out of the bathroom, and walked inside, went through the line, and bravely stood at the counter while about two dozen incredulous tourists watched, stupefied. The young woman my mother had spoken to, with all formality, proceeded to make sure my teeth were brushed, that my fin- gernails were not dirty, and that my ears were clean, all the while filing out imaginary paperwork behind her counter. When she was done, she said “I guess you’re okay. Welcome to Florida. Would you like grapefruit juice or orange juice?” With that out of the way, all of you should know that if I can say some- thing like this about myself, I can say anything I want to about y’all. So watch out! 0mxmh»l7i5 Chris Ofili’s “Bag of Sh**,” posing as a work of art. cal training. Today, at this very mo- ment, there are 25,433,643 idiot kids strumming out Zeppelin tunes on their bargain-basement Stratocasters and dreaming unrealistic dreams of rock supersta_rdom. Jimmy Page must be rolling over in his grave. (Editor ’s note.‘ Jimmy Page has technically been dead since 1977 when the last of his original inter- nal organs gave out). Thanks to “The Blair Witch Project,” you can be certain that film festivals ev- erywhere are about to be deluged with thousands of poorly produced backyard films from AV club dorks and their as- piring-actor friends. And thanks to Multiculturalism, now we’re supposed to like all sorts of crappy ethnic art as well. Pardon me for not buying into the “Latin explosion,” but Ricky Mar- tin and that Enrique Iglesias guy suck in any language. Democracy is bad enough as a po- litical system, but there’s just no way its tenets belong in the art world. Sorry Jefferson, but everyone is NOT cre- ated equal. Mozart was writing sym- phonies by the time most of his peers were still toilet training. Art is predi- cated on the fact that ability is rare and talent rarer, and that genius is the most rareriest thing of all. (Hold on, let me check that dictionary. . .) Yes, it’s not “fair” that some people are just better at things than others, but if life was “fair” then OJ would be dead, wouldn’t he? For me, I think the final nail in the coffin of culture came during the five minutes of the Emmy awards I man- aged to catch this year. Kristen only actually won an award, but went on to tearfully acknowledge the writ- ers and producers of the show as “true geniuses.” Now, I may not be the final authority on what is and isn’t art, but I can say with certainty that no one involved in the production of the show “Third Rock from the Sun” remotely deserves the “genius” moniker. Everytime we misuse the word “ge- nius” to describe some Hollywood hack, we take a little bit away from the Shakespeares, Chopins and Cezannes, the Michelangelos, Mozarts and Miltons who actually stepped up to the plate and hit a few out of the park in the name of art. When our society loses all conception of the word “ge- nius” then art becomes meaningless, everyone can do it and the only ones who gain notoriety at all are those who resort to the shock value of cheap, el- ephant—dung slinging gimicks. Well, I know what you’re all think- ing at this point. You’re thinking “Screw all this art crap. Where the hell did that guy get elephant dung from, anyway?” Good question. Accord- ing to www.illumin.co.uk, “Ofili first began to use el- ephant dung in his paint- ings during a six weeks’ scholarship in Zimbabwe. , On his return to England he continued to use it and obtained supplies from obliging animals in a cir- cus in Berlin and in Lon- don and Whipsnade zoos.” I don’t know exactly what they mean by “oblig- ing the animals” either. In any case, the point is that next time you look at a painting and say “this isn’t art, this is a piece of sh* *,” remember that you may be right on- both counts. Come on, people, let's get that number up! This is just embarrassing. We can do better — I know we can! insulted this week: ——modern artists —Ricky Martin & Enrique Iglesias —Rudy —anyone involved in the production of the show “Third Rock fiom the Sun” —democracy —Oprah’ s book club -‘——AV club dorks ——Jimmy Page —bagpipe “music” Chris Ofili’s “The Holy Virgin Mary.” Funny that there could be so much controversy over such a stupid, ugly, utterly unremarkable painting. CHOOSING THE RIGHT RETIREMENT COMPANY MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE. which is more popular at W&L — beer or herpes? , Both can make a strong » ‘ case: Surprisingly low expenses TIAA-CREF's operating costs are among the lowest in the insurance and mutual F or over 80 years, TL’-\A—CREF has The other meat Oh no been the leading retirement company wait, dude, that’s pork. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I said pork, yo, IIBI‘|!BS on America's campuses. 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