OCR::/Vol_102/WLURG39_RTP_20000207/WLURG39_RTP_20000207_001.2.txt ‘I € "378. 7:35 VOLUME 102, NO. 20 Two arrested for burglary County residents captured through use of checks stolen from students’ country house during Christmas break By Christie Phillips STAFF WRITER Two men were arrested last week for the burglary of a Washington and Lee University student country house over Christmas break. David Jason Fix and James Edwin Lemon, both Rockbridge County residents, were charged with grand larceny and breaking and entering. “They stole a lot of stuff, like TVs and a Sony PlayStation, but we got most ofit back,” saidjunior Will Baker who lives at the burglerized house. “I didn’t get my TV back because the guys apparently threw it in the river. That’s a smart thing to do.” Baker and his housemates reported the burglary to the Rockbridge County Sheriffs department when they got back from Christmas break. “There didn’t appear to be any forced entrance,” said junior Will Ogilvie, another resident. “The deputies said they could only check the pawn shops around the area for clues, but they told us not to count on anything.” Apparently the burglars didn’t need much help from the police in getting caught. “They had stolen my checkbook,” said junior Jim Wilboum, a third housemate. “I didn’t realize until I was alerted of a $550 overdraw on my account.” Once authorities realized that the burglars were writ- ing checks, they traced the checks to find the men. One ,check led authorities straight to the burglars. “They ordered a pizza and had it delivered to their house and paid for it with one of my checks,” said Wilbourn. “All the police had to do was look up the ad- dress of the delivery. We’re not dealing with the bright- est thieves here.” . Fix and Lemon had also stolen an electronic personal planner from Wilboum. “They erased all my information and put in all their friends and connections,” said Wilboum. “So when the police got hold of that, they started calling all the num- bers to find out where our stuff was.” In addition to burgling the country house, Fix and Lemon had stolen equipment from three fraternity house basements. “They took speakers from two fraternity houses, and sound equipment from a third,” said Sheriff R. W. Day. “Some of these items they had sold or given away, but we’ve tried to return them to the Owners.” Fix and Lemon were arrested Jan. 25. Lemon posted bond last Friday, and Fix bonded on Tuesday. “I’m mad they got off so quickly,” said Wilboum. “We’re doing everything we can to get them back in jail.” The winning Fiji team took home a $300 prize. Nob.ody’s home. . . or is there? U112 iftittg-tu WASHINGTON AND LEE UNIvERsITY’s WEEKLY NEWSPAPER ‘iii’/\.‘7~.‘~‘ LExINGToN, VIRGINIA 24450 111 tlmtfti G. LEVEIE‘-3N LIESRAHY ~§!N't ‘ = I ' U? ‘Z‘1S1T'Y ’ 7A\'-‘«"‘rlZ lpfi if \’.\‘.:;L .: ~.'.~ FEB 0 9 ztitit/J’ ‘ or MONDAY, FEBRUARY 7, 2000 Lip Sync. . . tamer than ever? Though lacking in debauchery, Lip Sync made up for it with the money By Michael Crittenden Assocu TE EDITOR Washington and Lee students packed the Student Activities Pa- vilion Friday night to witness this year’s Lip Sync competition, which saw pledges painted blue, the usual debauchery we have come to expect, and the overall award for best act going to Fiji for their rendition of “Push It”. Tame in comparison to previ- ous shows, including the infamous I998 show which included more nudity, destruction, and lack of taste than was ever thought pos- sible, this year's show was quite successful in raising money for and promoting awareness of, SA- RAH (Students Against Rockbridge Area Hunger). Each year, the money raised is used to purchase food stuffs for citizens in Rockbridge County who are without. According to Dining Services Director Jerry Darrell, who is one of the leading forces behind the Lip Sync, this year's show was a huge success. “It was a great show, as good as any we have ever had,” Darrell said. “We raised approximately $850 at the door, and we believe another $1,500 from people swip- ing money home.” The acts for the show mainly consisted of each Greek organization’s pledges performing choreographed dances with very little lip syncing going on. Some standout acts included Sigma Chi’s rendition of “Praise You” by Fatboy Slim, and Beta’s Talking Heads performance. Not to be outdone, the sorori- ties, who historically have had much better acts than the fraterni- ties, also put on a great show. One of two-time defending champion Chi Omega’s acts included girls _ dressed in yellow “pledge shirts” get- PUsIIIN’1T: The Fiji pledge class, under the guise of “Sexual Chocolate” prize anyway during Friday night’s annual Lip Sync competition. All money raised benefitted SARAH. ting mock-hazed by another girl act- ing as a brother to the tune Of“I Will Survive”. In the end however, it was the pledges from Fiji that took the crown. The last to perform, the Fiji act in- cluded a Chippendale-like strip show when they took off tank-tops with each of the five sororities written on them. The act drew quite a response from the mainly female audience, which clapped long and hard for the topless Fiji dancers. According to Fiji pledge Ben Bryant, the win was well deserved and welcomed. “We wanted to do a really good job like the sophomores did last year, and it was in the back of our minds that we had a chance,” Bryant said. “All we had to do was push it. . . push it good.” The show was hosted by senior Dan Grattan, who is the student-head of SARAH, and junior John Jensen, who emceed the event. DOMINATRIx?: Freshman Chi-O pledge Austin C , skips the full monty but takes first photo by Tiffany riedel/Assistant Photo Editor alhoun in fishnets and leather. photo by Emily Bames/Photo Editor 7 photo by Lisaiin/assistanhto Editor Boys WITH BRAINS: Freshman Fiji pledge Brian Carmody scribbles down a question to an answer during Wednesday night’s “Pledge Jeopardy”, sponsored by the Freshmen Leadership Council. LPD and students discuss problems and city policies By Max Smith NEWS EDITOR Fraternity noise violations and MIPs were just some of the pressing issues students tossed at local law enforcement in last week’s “What Are Your Rights?” discussion. ‘‘I hope tonight’s session will help everyone gain some enlightenment on both sides. . . [and] further agree- ment on your status as citizen-stu- dents,”imoderator Lad Sessions said. Sponsored by the new student organization, Living in Lexington as Citizen-Students (LILACS), the talk drew about 30 students who ques- tioned police from Lexington and Rockbridge County. Lexington Po- lice ChiefBruce Beard, Rockbridge County Sheriff R.W. Day, W&L se- curity Director Mike Young and everyOne’s favorite special enforce- ment officer Roger Clark were among the panelists. On the issue of alcohol. police said they can cite anyone with open container who is in view ofthe pub- lic drinking, even ifthey’re on pri- Getting to “know your rights” vate property. Police can also charge students with drunk in public ifthey spot any sign of intoxication. They insisted the charge is only to pro- tect students from injuring them- selves later. ' After Fall Terrn’s rash of early fra- ternity party shutdowns, students were anxious to hear how to avoid them in the future. Police said every fraternity should get a noise permit. The city only allows parties to last until ll a.m., but city council ex- tended the party curfew to midnight for W&L students. After midnight, SEE ‘LILACS’ ON PAGE 2 February 7, 2000 OPINION: Lame Lip Sync (J11: fling-tum ifilti PAGE 3 Mysterious intruder doesn’t knock first or steal, just makes himself at home By Christie Phillips STAFF WRITER Two country houses of female Washington and Lee University stu- dents have recently hosted some in- truders while the owners were out. The intruders are not there to burgle the houses that they enter. I They simply use the houses as if they were their own homes, watching tele- vision and relaxing on the couch. They turn lights on at their leisure and sometimes snoop through the refrigerator. “He never takes anything,” said junior Virginia Brumby. “But it scared us so much.” Brumby and her roommates live just outside of town on Sandbridge Lane. With the belief Lexington and the surrounding country to be fairly safe, they have always left the back door of their house unlocked. “We don’t use the front door,” said Brumby. “lt’s always locked and bolted just for convenience so we don’t have to hassle with it.” When Brumby and her housemates came home one day and found the front door wide open, they knew instantly that something was wrong. “We realized someone must be in the house and we got so scared,” she said. “We ran into a room and that’s when we heard someone run down the stairs and out the front door.” Brumby called the sheriffs office, but when deputies arrived, there was no one near the house. SEE ‘INTRUDER’ ON PAGE 2 W&LIFE: It takes a campus. . . SPORTS: Basketball topples #1 LAsT WORD: War on drugs PAGE 4 PAGE 5 PAGE 6 WRESTLE MANIA: Freshman Alex Poor grapples with his SVC foe. photo by Lisa Lin/Assistant Photo Editor OCR::/Vol_102/WLURG39_RTP_20000207/WLURG39_RTP_20000207_002.2.txt PAGE 2 Ellie ifitng-tum iflhi NEWS FEBRUARY 7, 2000 Parking deck set to open March 1 By Max Smith NEWS EDITOR Lexington Special Enforcement Of- ficer R.D. Clark may have a lot less to do come March 1. The new parking deck should be finished by the end of the month, ac- cording to Mike _Iles, project superin- tendent for the Haskell Co., the Jack- sonville, F l. contractor building the deck. The deck was originally set to be completed in Jan. “It's a moving target with the weather,” Iles said. “The snow and cold has created a lot of problems.” Iles said freezing temperatures cause problems when pouring con- crete. The builders have tried to en- close the deck and bring in kerosene heaters to help keep the concrete stable. The cold wasn’t the first prob- lem encountered during construc- tion. I Local bedrock caused problems when laying the foundation months ago, Iles said. The rock directly un- der the garage wasn’t hard enough and builders had to drill deeper than expected. When completed, Washington and Lee director of security Mike Young said the new parking deck should have better security than any other parking facility in town. “I’m totally satisfied with the se- curity measures taken,” Young said. “We didn’t pinch any pennies.” The deck will hold several emer- gency phones on every level and near both elevators. A security camera sys- tem will send several area shots to a console in the security office. A dis- patcher will monitor the screens 24- hours a day. The deck’s lighting will be state-of-the-art in terms of safety as well, Young said. Young has also proposed to add another officer to general patrol. “The new deck isn’t going to be a place to worry,” Young said. ‘INTRUDER’ from page 1 The second encounter with the intruder followed the same pattern. “The house was cold when we came home, so we knew the front door was open again,” Brumby explained. “We ran into my housemate’s room, grabbed a butter knife and turned on the alarm clock to scare anyone that was in the house. It was stupid, but it’s what we thought to do.” When the women got up the nerve to search the rest of the house they found that the TV and some lights were on, but no one was there. Again they called the police, who could find nothing when they came to the house. ' “The police think it’s a weird townie who likes to come in and use people’s houses,” said Brumby. “We’rejust hoping it was no one too crazy. I think if it was a murderer or something he would have confronted us.” Brumby and her housemates now lock all their doors whenever they leave the house. Since they started locking their doors, the women haven’t had any fur- ther problems. “Intruders are not real common, but things like that happen once in a while,” said Sgt. Sutton of the Lex- ington Police Department. “Most of these guys are just freeloading, eating a free meal, sleeping, just sur- viving I guess.” ‘LILACS’ from page 1 Junior Sanders Goodrich and her housemates also had an intruder in their country house, located up the road from Brumby’s house. “Over Christmas, someone came and lived in our house,” said Goodrich. “When we came back from break there was food in the fridge that we hadn’t bought, and previously locked bedroom doors were unlocked.” Goodrich and her housemates never encountered the intruder. “It looked like he just needed a place to hang out for a couple of days,” she said. The women think the intruder entered through the windows, though they were not visibly tampered with. They told their landlord about the incident, but never called the police. “Intruders are not always homeless,” said Sutton. “I recall an incident two years ago ofa guy who would intrude but never steal anything. He didn’t have to be homeless, but he had a drug habit. He thought it was more important to spend money on drugs than food and shelter.” Lexington Police Chief Bruce Beard warns area resi- dents that the best way to avoid problems like this and crime in general is to lock doors. “Lock up to be safe,” he said. “Leaving a house or car unlocked or open is just plain temptation.” if police get a complaint they give the fraternity a warn- ing and then a summons if they have to come back again the same night. Beard said the best advice is to keep people inside the party to reduce the noise. Police also recommended that students register their bike’s serial number with police to help in case it gets stolen. LILACS co-founder Thomas Field thought the dis- cussion was a success for his embryonic group. “We need to take a lot of steps and tonight was a big step,” Field said. “Tonight got rid of a lot of stereotypes about local law enforcement.” ‘ ’ Field got the idea for LILACS last spring when pro- fessor of politics William Connelley said students could compose a large voting block in the area if they were registered to vote. LILACS sponsored a registration drive last week and plans to bring more local officials to campus. photo by Emily Barnes/Photo Editor WHAT WOULD Miss MANNERS sAY?: Junior Justin Holton (left) crams one of the six hot dogs be consumed in five minutes into his mouth. john Comly: $50 buyer: jenny Thomas Jacek Mucha: $30 buyer: Noelle Gamble Rick Schnatz: $65 buyers: Avery Gholston and Stacy Kirnrnel Lat Purcer: $145 buyer: Kate Blocher Christian Batcheller: $30 buyer: Ashley Kensinger Jon Stroebel: $90 buyer: Drew Powers Spencer Liles: $50 buyer: Maggie Fagan Dan Birdwhistell $65 buyer: Carly Nasca Alex Wilkins: $60 buyer: Jane Ledlie Thaxton Mauzy: $110 buyer: Drew Powers and Kate Blocher Quincy Springs $110 buyer: Katherine Mead Rob Naftel: $85 buyers: Karhlyn Pczcz, Lime Swarm, Alix Warren Matt Howenstein: $65 buyer: Alison Becknell Dan Grattan: $75 buyer: Huan Song RESULTS or HABITAT FOR HUMANrrY’s “SLAVE FOR A DAY” AUCTION: Celtic Connection Find that s _ecial holiday gift! See our selec ion of fine im orted goods from Ireland, Scot and, 85 other Celtic lands! J-CWCIFY ' artwork 0 crystal ° china °sweaters scarves ' throws 0 books 0 collectibles Guinness items ' T-shirts ° music -food Free Wrapping! Shipping Available. 10% 0/1" an y tartan lie or scarf with this ad Don’t go home with the same old gifts! We have something unique for every budget. 19 W. Nelson St. (across the street from the movie theater) Daily 10-5:30PM 8L Sundays 54-0-4-64—654-5 www.celticconnex.com W&L String Quartet Searching for some classy musical entertainment? Look no further. W&L’s own Lovancy Ingram, Natalie Swope, Allison MacQueen and Meghan Doyle want to play for your function. The quartet may also feature clarinettist Hayley Hall. Perfonning a mostly classical repertoire, the group will also prepare other works upon request. Contact Natalie at swopen@wlu.edu for additional information. Stunning? Not to W&L students The New York Times and Los Angeles Times both de- scribed Arizona Sen. John McCain’s 18 percentage point victory in the New Hampshire primary on Feb. 1 over Texas Gov. George W. Bush as “stunning.” In Lexington, Va., the students of Washington and Lee University responded with a “ho-hum.” That's because McCain's 18 point victory was exactly what the school’s Mock Convention predicted on Jan 29. McCain earned nine (53 percent) of New Hampshire’s 17 delegates, while Bush grabbed six (35 percent) and Steve Forbes got two (12 percent). W&L students were almost as impressive in Iowa a couple of weeks ago. They picked Bush to beat Forbes by 21 percent in Iowa. Though Bush won by only 1 1 percent, the students prediction was still two percentage points better than the poll published by the Des Moines Register. So what does McCain’s strong showing in New Hamp- shire mean for the remainder of the Republican presiden- tial race? Nothing if you continue to believe the W&L . students. McCain earned just 83 delegates at the Mock Convention as compared to 1,942 for Bush. W&L students predict that McCain will carry only three states-Arizona, New Hampshire and Vermont. More information can be found on the Mock Conven- tion web page. Tuchler wins NSF grant Matthew F. Tuchler, assistant professor of chemistry at Washington and Lee University, has received an $86,000 grant from the National Science Foundation. The award will be used to purchase a set of two re- search grade lasers and supporting equipment to be used in both introductory and upper level laboratory classes and for research. David Sukow, assistant professor of physics at W&L and Tom Williams, professor ofphys- ics at W&L, are named as co-investigators of the grant project. “This equipment,” says Tuchler, “is part of the ongoing commitment of the chemistry and physics programs at Washington and Lee to introduce stu- dents to state-of -the-art technologies early in their college careers with the goals of enhancing their edu- cational experience and preparing them to partici- pate in active research programs at W&L.” Tuchler joined the W&L chemistry department in 1998. He earned his B.A. from Haverford College, his MS. at the University of Chicago and his Ph.D. at the University of Illinois at Urbana. Sukow joined the W&L faculty in the fall of 1999. He received his B.A. from Gustavus Adolphus College and his M.S. and Ph.D. from Duke University. Wil- liams, head of the physics department, has been at W&L since 1974. Carlton Fletcher exhibit at W&L Carlton Fletcher's show “Composing With Figures” will be on exhibit at the Williams School from Feb. 18 through March 31. He will give a talk about his work on Feb. 18 in Room 221 of the Williams School at 6 p.m. Fletcher, a founding member of the Washington Studio School, is a painter, draftsman and printrnaker whose work has been exhibited nationwide, with shows at the National Academy of Art and the National Academy of Design in New York City, the Phillips Collection and the Corcoran Realist Gallery in San Francisco. He earned his B.F.A. from Rhode Island School of Design and his M.F.A. from Ameri- can University. A review of his work by The Washington Post says his figure studies in oil, paints and charcoals are “fimily grounded in classical traditions.and his series of moody charcoal studies is not only fine in itself, but reveals the artist working toward a more finished version of the com- position.” Fletcher says he is passionate about figures: “As'stu- dents of painting we admire Giotto, Masaccio, Caravaggio, Cezanne, Degas and a host of other, but we hesitate to fol- low their example. The question is: why study the masters of figure composition unless we intend to give it a try?” Strong publishes book on Carter Robert A. Strong, the William Lyne Wilson Professor of Politics at Washington and Lee University, is the author of a new book, “Working in the World: Jimmy Carter and the Making of American Foreign Policy” (Louisiana State Uni- versity Press, 2000). Using nine detailed case studies based on interviews with the participants and on recently released documents, Strong examines how Carter addressed and accomplished the work of foreign policy during his term. “I find much that was written about him when he was in office to be inaccurate,” said Strong, who is now working on a book about fonner president George Bush. “He played a much greater role in foreign affairs than he was given " credit for. People said he was unable to control his divided advisors. "Ihat’s not a fair portrait. Carter was fully in charge and his advisors knew that.” Zbigniew Brzezinski, Carter's national security advisor, is quoted on the dust jacket as saying, “Strong gives Carter much belated due for his personal leadership and spikes some of the simplistic generalizations favored by the mass media that portrayed Carter as indecisive and vacillating.” Strong is also the author of “Decisions and Dilemmas: Case Studies in Presidential Foreign Policy Making” and “Statesmanship and Bureaucracy: Henry Kissinger and the Making of American Foreign Policy.” Strong joined the W&L faculty in 1989 and serves as the politics department chair. Prior to coming to W&L he served as a professor at Tulane University from 1982 to 1988. He served as an American Political Science Associa- tion Congressional Fellow from 1988 to 1989 and worked in the offices of Rep. Lee Hamilton and Sen. Richard Lugar. At W&L, he teaches classes on international relations and American politics.'He holdsdegrees from Kenyon College (B'.A., ’1‘970),Nortlie‘r’ri Illiriois Un'iversity*(M.A., '1 977) and the University of Virginia (Ph.D., 1980). Chess tournament organizing The Fighting Generals Chess Team, which has been around for only two years, is sponsoring a chess touma- ment. Since their beginning as a group of students and faculty meeting in Dean Howison’s home, the group has sponsored two single-elimination intramural tournaments. In addition, they’ve organized an informal chess ladder and are working on an intemet intercollegiate tournament. The third tournament begins Feb. 23, and between 16 and 32 participants are anticipated. Competitors may sign up at the Co-op, by sending e-mail to chess@wlu.edu, or by calling x4728. There will be prizes for first and second place. Results of the first round will be due the following Tuesday. For more information, go to the team's webpage at, http://www.wlu.edu/~chess, which also has infonnation about past and future tournaments. Come and write for Elite fling-tum Ifllri Join in the fun, laughter, and behind- the-scenes excitement of W&L’s oldest and most prestigious newspaper email us at phi@wlu.edu or call X4060 and leave a message "I OCR::/Vol_102/WLURG39_RTP_20000207/WLURG39_RTP_20000207_003.2.txt C I FEBRUARY7,2O00 OP (J11: iRing-tum iflhi INION PAGE3 Lip Sync needs another Austin Lip Sync is a lot of things. Unfortunately, this year, great was not one of them. Not to say I expect insane amounts of nudity and drunk pledges falling all over the place, but it flat out did not impress me. I remember my freshman year when it was funny. No, let me correct that, it was fall out of your chair hilarious. Yes, there were an amazingly high number of disqualifica- tions. Yes, a certain Phi Psi pledge had a small mishap. Yes, the Sigma Nu act attempted to tear down lattices and the SARAH sign. But, you have to look on the bright side. The act that most stands out in my mind is the Fiji one. They did their song and dance to a medley of music from the Austin Powers soundtrack. And don’t worry, they had their very own Austin. He began in a bad suit. Then he started skipping/stumbling around impersonating Austin Powers with the catlike “meow”. Next, the blazer came off. This was followed by the shirt and pants. That’s right, Fiji’s Austin was down to his little red bikini briefs. And you mustn’t forget the chest hair Austin possessed (which was all real). The Fiji act was great, but of course they didn’t win because they had the lethal combination of N.D.P. (naked, ‘drunk pledges). This year’s Lip Syncjust did not live up to the one two years ago. Last year’s wasn’t as rambunctious either. And no, it’s not because I was in it one year and not the oth- ers. In fact, I wasn’t even in an act my freshman year. So, I am coming to you as a bystander of the past three Lip Syncs. I have to admit, this year did have some very enter- taining acts. The fraternities were surprisingly choreo- graphed and clothed and the sororities were sadly un- original. One of my favorite acts was the Talking Heads, performed by Beta. The singer’s jacked up pants, the keyboardist’s soulful tickling of the ivories, and the way Beta dealt with the skipping CD made their act one of the very best. Another act definitely worthy of a place was Sigma Chi’s “Praise You.” The background dancers re- minded me of the video with their subtle foot swaying, frantic jumping, and stiff robot movements. Although these were clearly two of the best acts, they didn’t so much as place. I cannot even begin to explain this. While Lip Sync is for a good cause and we always Sir Isaac Lines Stephanie Bianoo ’01 : raise a lot of money, if it continues to lackthe flashyfun factor the students at W&L would be better off drinking at home watching the video from 1998. Then, they too could revel in the unforgettable acts, such as Austin Pow- ers, done in the true spirit of Lip Sync. uote of the Week: {K I’ll be good, I’ll be good! — Anonymous j unior guy 2’) (J11: iiting-tum Elfilii Executive Editor Polly Doig Associate Editor Michael Crittenden News Editor Max Smith Opinions Editor W&Li_'fe Editor Sports Editor Last Word Editor Copy Editor Photo Editor Assistant Photo Editors Stephanie Bianco Eliana Marziani Steele Cooper Kevin McManemin Heather McDonald Emily Barnes Tiffany Friedel Lisa Lin David Hanson Layout Editor Neal Willetts The Ring-tum Phi is published Mondays during the undergraduate school year at Washington and Lee University, Lexington, VA. Funding for The Ring-tum Phi comes primarily from advertising and subscription revenues. The Washington and Lee Publications Board elects the Executive Editor, but The Ring-tum Phi is otherwise independent. The Ring-tum Phi welcomes all responsible submissions and letters. All submissions must be in the Phi office, room 208 of the University Center, by noon on Friday to appear in that week’s edition. The Ring- tum Phi reserves the right to edit submissions for content and length. Letters and columns do not reflect the opinion of The Ring-tum Phi Editorial Board. Advertising does not reflect the opinions of The Ring-tum Phi or its staff. This newspaper observes current court definitions of libel and obscenity. The Ring-tum Phi 208 University Center Washington and Lee University Lexington, VA 24450 Telephone: (540) 462-4060 Advertising Office: (540) 462-4049 Fax: (540) 462-4059 E-mail: phi@wIu.edu http://wlu. edu/~phi Annual subsription rate: 530 SIGMA CHI PRAISES You. Five pledges perform Fatboy Slim’s “Praise You” during the Lip Sync. Photo by Tiffany Friedel/Assistant Photo Editor Are We thinking or just clapping? I am not a Republican (pause for gasps of astonish- ment). I just want to get that out in the open from the beginning. I walked into the Warner Center last Friday afternoon as an Independent. I would like to be able to say that I was Independent because I prefer to weigh each candidate on their personal merits before making my decisions, but who am I kidding — I was apathetic, consciously not caring at all about politics. I thought that maybe the Mock Republican Convention would pique my interest and that I would actually figure out which party I wanted to join. I learned many things on Friday. I learned that the Chairman of the Republican National Committee, upon being given the opportunity to address a very large number of young people, to influence future leaders of our nation, had no lasting impression to guide us as we shape our lives. Instead, he chose to spend the twenty-five minutes allotted to him to show us silly pic- tures of Al Gore. I heard more about the evils of the Demo- cratic Party than about any platform issue, about any of the candidates for the nomination, or about any of the virtues that the venerable J.C. Watts called us to portray in his magnificent speech. I learned that Al Gore is a reliable windsock. Afier hear- ing Frank Keating repeat that phrase for twenty-five min- utes, I was struck by the sincerity of one of his last state- jersey Devil &myEWtB ments. Governor Keating called for a “restoration of good will and honor in the White House.” He proposed that this change could only be wrought by a Republican president, by the dominance of the Republican Party. Staff Editorial This week at Washington and Lee was quite a learning experience for us here at The Phi, as they all are of course, Mom and Dad. So we thought we’d send home a sort of report card. Actually we’ve just got space to kill, and anything David Letterman can do, we can do better. We just can’t get paid for it. Top Ten Things We Learned This Week: 10. “Photspreads” are not quite all they’re cracked up to be. We weren’t sure whether our oh-so-clever-former- competition was trying to be hip and call it a “Phatspread”, or if we just need to haul ourselves into the 21st century. But we do recommend spellcheck. 9. Taco Bell does horrible things to the wind through the Phi office. 8. Fijis aren’t just meatheads, they’re “what are meatheads with brains?” 7. J-Law may cover First Amendment issues, but the tests are simply cruel and unusual. 6. Staff editorials are the best opportunity to take cheap shots, and attribute them to an entire group of editors who never saw it. 5. Dan Grattan does cost more than the price of a six- pack. And for the price ofa keg, he might consider mar- riage. 4. It’s harder than it sounds to consume four Saltines in under a minute. 3. Beer Gardens need to be reinstated at Lip Sync, which used to be fun. 2. Scott Guggenheimer is not funny. In fact, he’s like Ah yes, the Republican party — the honorable party of McManemin on a bad_taste day good-will and integrity that preaches to an impression- able group of C-school majors and fu- ture politicians that it is more impor- tant we all understand that Al Gore is not the inventor of the intemet, than to set an example of good-will and honor. Call me naive, call me an idealist, call me Ishmael, but whatever you do, do not call me a Republican. I sat down in my seat on Friday afternoon, excited by the mass of people, the Styrofoam hats, the cameras, and, by God, I cheered and clapped along with everyone else whenever the speaker paused in his speech ever so slightly — until I began to listen. When I started to listen to what the speakers were saying instead of to the cheers of the crowd around me I realized that I did not agree with a single statement I was applauding. Don’t think that I did not appreciate the Mock Conven- tion. It awakened political interest in me and I know it is a tremendous achievement of the W&L students involved. When I was walking out of the Warner Center Friday evening, a friend asked me if I was a Democrat. My answer to her was “Now I am.” You can now officially add my name to the list of people who need you to pray for their souls. 1. The Fiji pledge class needs to do a day-time streak of the Colonnade. The Ring-tum Phi welcomes Letters to the Editor Please drop them ofl‘ outside the Phi office or email them to us at phi@wlu.edu Support for the performing arts lacking Why is it that orchestra performances, and long, drawn out appearances by “master artists” sell out Lenfest more than the theatre departments productions? These shows fairly consistently fill up the approximately 435 seat Keller Theatre. Albeit, this is a large auditorium and the music performances are mandatory for a large number of season’s latest show, “Falstaff”, has been averaging a little over 200 people for each performance.While this is not a bad showing by any means, it is not nearly as strong as the show deserves. Falstaff has four performances. It performed Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, and closes Monday with its fi- nal show beginning at 8 p.m. The show has people in music classes, but the the- , ~ we department’ AnAf:Ch53 aIi<11.1a°¢"S Only pii1iIi_1¢*?dfi18liié ‘£24921 Viétory °VefS9“l11¢!i1eYii‘3$i1‘l?C°“ég€'bn W°¢ln¢S?1?Y€:V¢ning- S Washington} aiid‘1.fee's :.§iioijtien's§.sil:viiiitning team swept a double idlial swimmeet on?-Thursday’evening in Radford, Va, triui1‘1phing.'o_v_er_tl1e’host Highlanders by a score of:'_78-17,-while also defeating I-lollins Uni- versity by count of 82-.13. , w era _ed_:victories'iiril0 of _the 11 events comprising the 'eomp:etition,Thep:Clenera1s (10- The‘Washington and Lee indooihaek teams trav- eled across townoyer the weekend to compete in the VMI Winter Indoor Relays. . - j - ‘ ’_ y - 3.3:. ., The Generals were led by junior Marc Watson and freshman Burke Duncan, each ofwhom geiiiered fourth- place finishes irljhe competition. No ‘team scoring was kept in the meet? ’ f _ i J ; Watsonclaimed fourth place in the finals of the men's 55-meter dash in a time of 6?.5,7‘seconds. ‘opening matchesbefore losing iiijtlie ‘_sec,ond,r”o_und., _ Casto, wrestling in the 125-pound classification, re- ‘ corded afall atthe 4:56 ofhis » Marranto. The win pushed lCast,o's record to’15-:4,'on , the season and 7-0 «in dual meets. Tsophomdre fl'3_3.- pounder Ben‘Segal followed up“‘Casto's'win Afw:ith"a’:7-4 . victory over Corey Hickinan, the_Generals aquick 9-Olead. , . .5 ~_: .. . _. i : _ » Freshman John Polena then1won_,liis;141'-‘ iind W by forfeit, increasing the ;_ eadltoiil 0_.Afi_er;SV{C ' (2?4)Fa1li°df0 19l111_V‘lith,il1'l,5,f9s;l‘l‘:‘.l9T. -.Gfé8’y‘ll°l1ll¥‘.9 » :. recordedla bigi‘wi_n_at, l A A by a score of 9-5, pushing the‘W6fi‘l; leadhto-1 ” Junior John Sensing then clinched die~victory;fo} Gener- .als with a forfeit win at.285 pounds,‘ .: 1 .» The Generals willretum topactioin on ‘when they will travel to Baltimore, Md., for the , - , Quadrangular. The quad-match set tobegingat 12:00 p_m_ . g, * g_ . —. . ' 5, 4-0 ODAC) took thefirst two. places’ in five of the heats. Freshman Kathleen Gibson recorded ‘tlir'ee"1ife- V‘ time bestsinthe victories._ L f‘ 1 C ' : W&L's victoryover Hollins clinched_the regu- ‘ lar-season ODAC champion,ship.;__ ' ‘ 7. V L ‘- W&L willretum to action" at_”th'e' ODAC/Atlantic States Championships on Feb, '18-20. 0 Duncan, W&L's top finisher on the women's side, crossedtl1eliI1eirrthe3,000-rneternmwithatirneof 1 1:08.70. The Generals had two other top-10 finishers in the meet. Freshman Kelly Schlicter finished in seventh place in the women's 800-meternm (2:3 170), while junior Chris Wahl took home ninth place in the men's shot put (39' 06.5"), W&L's teams will retum to action at Lynchburg Col- lege on Feb. 8. ‘ Head Coah Jim Stagnita is opti- mistic about the upcoming season. “This is the first team I've had that has returned so many All-Americans following an NCAA Tournament E N G L A N D ,9 I T A L Y berth,” said Stagnitta. “These guys have been to two NCAA Tournaments inarow. Look- H O N G K O N G * S PA IN ing at things from a factual stand- point, this is the strongest group of B * N returnees I've ever had. We have two guys that will contend for the (W& L) career scoring record and a solid group of defensemen and goalies. I've never had such a stable group of goalies returning.” The Generals begin their season when they host Elmira on Wednes- day, Feb. 23. Planning to stutlv Abroad? gyracuse Ilasjmur ticket! SYRACUSE; - STUDYABROAD 2, A 119 Euclid Ave/Box D Syracuse, NY 13244 ?”l!i1drl‘ — Courtesy Sports Information 800 235 3472 suabx-oad@syt.edu http://sumweb.syr.edu/dipa OCR::/Vol_102/WLURG39_RTP_20000207/WLURG39_RTP_20000207_006.2.txt PAGE 6 http://members. xoom.oom_XOOM lprimalllmahirl index.html LAST WORD FEBRUARY 7, 2000 Casualties continue to mount in the war on drugs By Kevin McManemin ROCK ON LONDON, ROCK ON CHICAGO The numbers are in for I 999 from the Rockbridge Regional Drug Task Force. The task force 's eflorts last year resulted in a total of I 2 7 drug charges being filed including 76 felonies. The task force seized over 98-thousand dollars worth of narcotics last year including nearly 7000 grams 0 mari- juana and nearly 40 grams of powder and crack cocaine. (WREL) Wow. 127 drug arrests is ahell ofa lot for such a small town. And hey, in a city of 7000 people, the 7000 grams of pot works out nicely! That’s one hell of a party you’ve spoiled, thank you very much Rockbridge Regional Drug Task Force. Is itjust me, or is the war on drugs working out about as well for this country as Vietnam? Why are we spending billions of tax dollars on a task as impossible as the Forbes cam- paign? Why are we filling our prisons with harmless dopers when the real de- generates of our society —— murder- ers, rapists, democrats — are getting off with slaps on the wrist? And why, It takes to raise by Kevin McManemin ROCK N ‘ROLL MCDONALDS Saying that Sesame Street “no longer reflected the true diversity of America,” yesterday the third district Federal Court ordered sweeping new cast changes to the long-running show. “We cannot allow our children to be corrupted by a show which does not provide adequate role models for all youth,” the Honorable Sarah Fleishman said. Most of the current cast of humans and monsters will be laid off — and many of them had strong words about the ruling. Big Bird called the court’s decision a “crock of Snuffelupagus, if you catch my drifi.” Grover said the trial was “the saddest thing to happen on Sesame Street since Mr. Hooper died.” But the muppet most affected is doubtlessly Oscar the Grouch, who was executed by firing squad this morning for the capital crime of insen- sitivity. “We have to send a message to our youth that a negative attitude will get you nowhere,” the Honorable William H. Goldstein said. We at the Last Word have obtained a spec-script of the new court-ordered Sesame Street. It is presented here for your edification and enjoyment: seam strut Ellsuo 951 Ilrlm: AM. 2000 Sunny day keeping the clouds away On my way to where the air is sweet Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street? ELMO: Elmo is so happy! So many.new friends on Sesame Street! Hello, new muppet Brother Khalid- Muhammed! BKM: Waddup, Brother Elmo. ELMO: Elmo want to sing the ABC song! BKM: Alright. A is for Anarchy. B is for Brotherhood. C is for Oppression. There's your f***ing ABC's. ELMO: Elmo not like that song! BKM: What do you want to learn that disgusting Anglo—Saxoid language for, « anyway? When Allah's Holy Revolution wipes the white Satan and his filthy languages off the earth, in a culture that defends a woman’s choice to abort her fetus as “her right to control her body,” are supposedly free citizens not allowed to put a little heroin in the ol’ using drugs, but we now know that studies have proven DARE about as effective a drug deterrent as a Grate- ful Dead concert. And this should come as a sur- b100dStf8am prise to no one. whenever they our schools jolly well wantto? can’t even teach The answer, kids the multipli- of course, is that cation tables _ drugs are bad for people, and the g o v e r n m e n t should protect people from bad things. By that did we honestly expect them to. teach the youth of America how to make respon- sible moral deci- logic, though, the sions? government So ifthe law should pass a law or education outlawing the Keith Richards’s face says, won’t deter kids USA Network. “c’mon kids, I dare you to do from using drugs, As long as drugs! I dare you!” what will? Easy: there is a supply 60’s rock stars. of drugs and a Back in the demand for them, all the laws in the world aren’t going to keep capitalism from running its course. So laws and Regional Drug Task Forces aren’t the answer to drug abuse —- education is. Just kidding. It sounds nice to say that educating kids will stop them from a village a muppet there will be rejoicing in the streets, Brother Elmo! ELMO: Elmo like rejoicing! Well, Elmo has to go to Sesame Street's newest shop now ~ Lezbo’s eco- feminist bookstore! (ELMO walks into the store. BERT is at the counter) BERT: Excuse me, do you have any books about paper clips? LEZBO: Take your phallus elsewhere! BERT: What? LEZBO: You heard me, pig! BERT: And to think Ernie and I marched in the parade for people like you! (BERT storms out) ELMO: Hi, Lezbo! Nice new eyebrow and nose rings! LEZBO: Thanks! Hello, Elmo. ELMO: Elmo love reading! LEZBO: Good! Here's a book for you: A History of Rape: Dissecting the White Misogynist Culture . ELMO: Do you have any books on numbers? LEZBO: Numbers? How about this number: 140 million. That's the number of innocent trees and plants murdered every day by the plutocratic phalluses in charge. ELMO: How about numbers like five or seven? LEZBO: You and your bourgeois numbers! (JORGE the differently—abled- transgendered- hermaphroditic— Tejano-Latino- muppet—American wheels his wheelchair into LEZBO's bookstore) JORGE: Hi Lezbo! Hi Elmo! ELMO: I-li, Jorge the good ol’ days, Ginger Baker used to shoot heroin behind his eyeballs to keep him going during his 20-minute long drum solos with rock’s first su- differently—abled- t r axis g erid e1:e d — hermaphroditic-Tejano— Latino-muppet-American! How's it going? JORGE: OK! LEZBO: Just OK? the can JORGE: Sometimes OK is very best thing you be! (cue music) Well sometimes you happy And sometimes you are But if you are OK Then you can’t be doing baaaaaaad... are sad I've got parts from both the sexes I'm a bilingual from Texas I drive a wheelchair not a Lexus That's OK! ELMO: You're OK! JORGE: I have sex with guys and gals Doesn' t mean I'm bacchanal Means I've got twice as many pals That's OK LEZBO: You're OK! JORGE: Ohhhhh. . . My wheelchair didn't keep me from following my dream Of playing on my school's varsity basketball team. Though I can't dribble or shoot the ball I know that that's OK. I'll bet the coach is glad that the court ordered me to play. That's OK! ELMO: You're OK! LEZBO: We're OK! JORGE: I'm OK! ALL: We're Okaaaaaaaay! ELMO: That's a great song! Goodbye everyone! See you next week! LEZBO: ELMO! That was insensitive to our blind viewers! ELMO: Elmo Sorry! See or hear you next week! Please don’t fire Elmo! Today 's show was brought to you by the letters h and o and by the political doctrine "Marxism. " pergroup, Cream. Today, Ginger Baker looks like he’s been run over by a dumptruck, which backed over his face four times and dumped a whole load ofugly on him. Keith Richards is actually 57 years old, which comes as a surprise to any- one who has seen a recent pic of the bloke and knows that he looks like he could be Bob Dole’s grandfather. What a drag it is getting old, eh, Keith? And Ringo Starr. . . well. . . he’s stilljust Ringo Starr. That’s divine punishment enough. Aging sixties rock stars are the real tragic faces of drug abuse. And the ones l’ve mentioned are the ones who survived! We don’t even need to bring up Jim, J imi, Janis, and the acid casu- alties like Syd Barrett and Peter Green, once-brilliant men who fried their brains into Ozzy-Osboume-like unin- telligibility. So please, we don’t need to con- centrate our efforts on campy PSA’s to tell kids “how to say no.” Any kid whose life is worth protecting knows how to say no —— we need to give him a reason to. If you want to scare kids sober, have a PSA in which Bob Dylan, Lou Reed and Mick Jagger face the camera, take off their sunglasses and loudly proclaim, “Kids, this is the face of drug abuse.” Street dealers won’t be able to give the stuff away after that. Bob Dylan shows off his medal for years of dedicated service to pot growers everywhere. W&L alums get funky on idletime’s debut album By Josh Harvey PHI Music CRl'lI(.‘ There must be something about idletime. I’m talking about three ‘ W&L alums and some New Orleans musicians who are giggin’ four nights a week and about to go full time. Leggett and Wilkinson have defi- nitely come a long way since their stint with Aquanautilus their senior year in 1997, both in their playing and their song writing. However, the band’s sound is grounded in a long tradition of self- indulgent jam bands like New Or- leans’ Greyboy Allstars and Michael Ray and The Kosmic Krewe, with hints of local favorites Agents of Good Roots, and even bigger acts like Widespread Panic, Phish and Medeski, Martin and Wood. Unfor- tunately, their first album, “time stops . . .” is consequently sterile, if tech- nically sound. ‘ Jam bands are almost as serious a problem to music as the Spice Girls. The genre is so appealing to newer musicians due to the success of the aforementioned bands, but let’s ad- mit it (and I can say with a fair amount of certainty): Agents sucked in the inceptionary years. It takes serious practice, skill, band communication and stage presence, and only seasoned veterans can pull it off (and how many of the hun- dreds of Phish jams a year are even uninspired and flat?) Young bands who are emulating this tradition are prone to rambling solos, looseness of arrangement and lack of cohesion within songs. It's one thing to hear Medeski or Joshua Redman play a five minute solo, but it takes serious taste to present‘ that successfully. Bands like idletime (and I think “Widespread” as well) will have to hone these elements through gigs and time together, a long, slow path. It’ s a route that can pay off, but, until then, tracks that last longer than five minutes should be strongly avoided. Songs like “gus” would be a lot more effective as a four- minute, one-solo showcase than a small epic rambling around nine min- utes. People’s attentions wane fast (mine included), especially in our Britney-Ricky era. Additionally, the CD’s production is loose: the few vocals are sometimes underrnixed, and the drums sound way too thin and tinny. All together, the album suffers from too much high-end, treble frequency, no depth/warrnth of sound, and no dynamic contrast. The boys are building chops on the road, and I am especially im- pressed by Aaron’s funky bass work. idletime show promise, but it will take a year or so of together- ness to tighten arrangements. There must be something about idletime, but I’m waiting to see for myself. Perhaps I will be proven seriously wrong when the shows starts Wednesday night. motivated self-starter! F I writing lyrics that include at least eight profani- ties a line. Previous songwriting or musical expe- rience absolutely unnecessary! Latin Kings Crime Syndicate —— Street Pimp. ' Resumes are now being accepted for the posi- tion of street corner pimp. Desired Qualifications: at least 4th grade education, and 2-3 years experi- I ence as mid-level drug pusher. Duties include maintaining and updating a database of hoes and johns, networking with our clients and occasional beatings. Must be a people-person, and a highly- JOB] INTERNSHIP PAIR! Wednesday, Feb. 30, 2-5 p. m. in the Science Center . check out these great career opportunities! e.com — e-slacker. We at e.com are committed to providing Internet solutions to today’s e-businesses. I What does that mean? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! We just sit around the office I watching CNBC all day and watching our stock prices soar through the roof! Come J join us — salaries start at four million a year. Neverland Ranch — Intern. , Greetings from Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch! If you're a recent college grad, or a boy 8-13, the Neverland Ranch has an exciting career opportunity for you! Duties include llama-herding, maintenance of oxygen tanks, minor reconstruc- tive surgery, light typing, and oral sex. A Thriller of a time guaranteed for all! Epitaph Records — Songwriter. Would you like to work as a songwriter for the # 1 punk record label in the world? Do you know at least three power chords on the guitar? If the answer to both of these questions is yes, then we’d like to hire you! Duties include writing music easy enough to be played by a baby chimpanzee and J cjournalism majors?’ Y. 3’. ¥ X’ C