OCR::/Vol_103/WLURG39_RTP_20010401/WLURG39_RTP_20010401_001.2.txt Clip: ilitng-tum ..!.‘"*.:‘zr“w.:"r.‘. a";‘z. if; . :3-..l“.u'; L;-.:=.' .1“ ta’ Vi’)V$5"ii3't'%1‘:'0;"3 ii L‘ i:‘WV$'H'l"Y 7...E"-"N3"-"CW, VA 30% .r.‘+.‘“iii%‘ioN PAGE 3 onservative olumnist bares soul Throughout the year, I have been chastised and ocked on many occasions for my conservative ide- 'als. Some merely call them radical. Others label them as acist, bigoted, and misogynist. All these attacks are jinderstandable from people whose sense is clouded .-‘I blind adherence to liberal orthodoxy. However, one riticism I cannot tolerate, one that strikes much too deeply, is the charge of homophobia. 4 After “Three cheers for Vermont and democracy,” hich made plain the many reasons why homosexual nions are a bad idea, for families, for children, and for America, I received a very nasty letter which implicitly -4 cused me of being insensitive and even outright fl ostile to the homosexual community and their needs. was crushed because I had made well—reasoned, well- supported arguments and the letter’s author resorted 'to baseless ad hominem attacks. It hurt most of all be- Sause, you see, I am gay. » I find many kindred spirits in the Republican party, but I associate most of all with the Log Cabin Republi- cans, a group founded in 1978 in response to the pation’s first anti-homosexual ballot measure, California’s Proposition 6. Our activism allowed Reagan A to denounce the measure publicly and it was soundly — defeated. Today, the Log Cabin Republicans or LCR, represent values of free enterprise, small government, Yndividual freedoms, and equal rights for all. We repre- sent the fact that homosexuals will no longer voteiin lockstep for liberals. For all Americans, we represent a choice. A choice {,0 reject the intolerance of the radicalmoral conserva- tives and join with Republicans due to their support for fiscal conservatism, a strong national defense, and less intrusive government. irwan comes out lated crimes. We applaud these efforts and hail those Republicans unafraid to challenge the bigotry still present in some corners of the party. My writing has one goal and that is to demonstrate that conservative and Republican ideals are not in- We have made great strides ollowing the election of Presi- _i ent Bush. Attorney General " ohn Ashcroft, thought by many woolored Elephant Brett Kirwan ’04 compatible with the homosexual agenda. We can fight for equal rights while fighting for policies that benefit us all, tax cuts, mis- o be a backwards religious " zealot, met with our organization to address and dis- _ niss our concerns which had been fed by the biased reporting of the liberal media. President Bush has re- . ently created a new AIDS Coordinator who sits on he White House Domestic Policy Council and Senator ‘ordon Smith of Oregon has introduced a bill to in- rease local enforcement of laws relating to bias—re— irls are icky, icky, icky. If I i ate them I’m going to hell . | What a weekend! No, I wasn’t one of those ungentle- , manly sinners at Fancy Dress. I’m talking about the Gen- ‘ erals Christian Fellowship teen ab- sile defense, and tort reform. Prejudice is something that my brothers and I face every day. It comes from both sides of the aisle. So when you read next week’s article, do so with a new understanding and attempt to put aside your anti-con- servative prejudice. Only if her citizens enter into our national dialogue with an open mind can American truly become one. entlemen don’t date girls bodies against girls when they dance. But, after the rally, I realized that they’re not as cool as they think are. I know some W&L students may not think resisting your body’s sinful urges is all that “coolio,” but man, oh, man, are they wrong! Totally! Let me let you in on a little secret: When I feel evil, demon—planted desires deep within jtinence rally! In this column, I’d like to share what I learned there. This is espe- Not Until.Marriage Van Dos ’04 my loins, I just think, “soon my par- ents will let me marry and I can do God’s work and seven or eight babies cially important, since sometimes at W&L, students use peer pressure to get you to “do it.” ‘ \ 0 one has ever asked me to, but if anyone ever did, I could see myself tempted to go along. You see, I used to wish I was one of those frat boys I who “go out” with dates to Fancy Dress and press their @112 ‘fling-tum lfllii Good Cop Emily “Biscuit” Barnes Bad C01? Stephanie Bianco Chief Bey-arch Matt McDermott Stafl Sharp Dresser Max Smith Richardson Appeaser Mike Agnello Editor of Thoughts Tara Frieda] Resident Communist Brett “Das Kapital” Kirwan Chauflering Editor Alexis Yee-Garcia Trident Story Supplier Jeremy Franklin Un-Funny Edimr Bryan “Strip Tease” Early Old Copy Editrix Heather MacDonald Rarely Contributing Editor Michael Crittenden Photography Editrix Mary Guy Staff Moneybag & Pimp Paul Seifert Squirrel Handler Charlie Tonelli Unlike other student newspapers we could mention, ’ The Ring-tum Phi is published reguarly, never making up lame stories about “computer crashes” or forgetting to come out at all. As the pride of Washington and Lee University, Lexington, Virginia, administrators, faculty, and students prostrate themselves before its all- encompassing power. Deans have been known to shake before its displeasure, and students sacrifice Abercrombie- and—Fitch on its altars. The Washington and Lee Publications Board ministers to the Executive Editors, who hold the power of life and death in their hands. The Ring-tum Phi is probably too good for you. No, it definitely is. If you falsely deem yourself worthy, all submissions must be in the Phi office, room 208 of the University Center, by 5 p.m. on Friday so we have plenty of time to laugh hysterically at them and throw them away. The Ring-tum Phi reserves the right to edit submissions for content and length. Letters and columns do not reflect the opinion of The Ring-tum Phi Editorial Board. Advertising does not reflect the opinions of The Ring-tum Phi or its staff. Nothing reflects our opinion; trust us, if you knew what we really think about you, you wouldn’t be smilin’, honey. This newspaper observes current court definitions of libel and obscenity, bitch. N The Ring-tum Phi 208 University Center Washington and Lee University Lexington, VA 24450 Telephone: (540) 462-4060 Advertising Office: (540) 462-4049 I Fax: (540) 462-4059 E—mail: phi@wlu.edu http://wIu.edu/~phi Annual subsription rate: $30 will issue from her womb.” Rad, huh? It can work for you too! Just imagine how special you’ll feel when you glorify God within the confines of the holy matrimonial bed, im- pregnating your wife to bring forward a new generation of faithful servants of the Lord. Women are a bit icky, but they do have a purpose, otherwise God wouldn’t have made them. My youth rriin— ister told me that they test men and see if they have what it takes to join the “God Squad” — and that’s the coolest team on the field. Go, God! You’re the greatest! Woof, woof, woof ! I don’t want to sound “down” on girls. I mean, I know a woman who’s clean, thrifty, honest, reverent, tasteful, well—dressed, daring, delightful, sexy, and a bit naughty. 'Iliat’s my mom, actually, and she’s ruined me for all of the fallen women at W&L. Well. . . I saw some girls at the GCF rally, which was pretty darn exciting. Normally I just see them in class or in the women’s pews at church. They never want to talk to me, for some reason. Let me tell you how the night ended, though, so you don’t suffer from impure thoughts. See, because none of us had dates for FD (not that we would have gone even if we were asked), we all had pizza and soda pop! And we stayed out late — until 10 p.m.! . See? It’s possible to be gentlemanly and have a good time at W&L. You don’t need to touch another person’s body — or your own — to have a smashing good time! TALKb ack: What’s your favorite Trident mistake? “There were so many this year. . . I can’t pick just one.” —-— Emily Barnes ’0l “Amanda McConnell By Christine Metzger The happy couple. Mrs. Mama Cat is pleased to announce the engagement of her daughter Cat S. Comer to the fine Lord B. Friend, who hails from somewhere on the other side of the Atlantic, is a graduate of Oxford University and currently has his eye on a management poisition at Burger King. The bride-to—be, best known for her work as a foot model, divides her time between being a rap—guy’s girlfriend and selling crack to fund her ! Internet porn addiction. A late summer wedding will be held at the Lee—Hi Chapel, Route 1 1, Virginia, where Cat will be attended by a circus of midgets, a small Persian cat, and a pine marten. There will be no barefoot hippies, and gifts will be accepted only if large and expensive. (Cash and major credit cards also accepted; $25 fee for returned personal checks.) The couple has plarmed a honeymoon involving tubing down the Maury and committing petty larceny. “The stories cut—off rriid-sentence. Oh, wait “The fact that it’s published and Liz Nelson.” — it’s gotta be the doctored front page every week.” — Michael Crittenden ’01 photo, or maybe the flexible print date. . . ” —Max Smith ’0l — Stephanie Bianco ’0l OCR::/Vol_103/WLURG39_RTP_20010401/WLURG39_RTP_20010401_004.2.txt PAGE 4 S @112 {King-tum iflht PORTS A day that will live in infamy‘, ' AUGUST 12, 1994 Stagnitta out as lacrosse coach Miriello to take over team for duration of the year By O.J. THE JUICE IS LOOSE In a move that came as a shock to the Washington and Lee community, men’s lacrosse head coach Jim Stagnitta was fired on Friday. The move came just two days af- ter the Generals defeated Roanoke 16- 4 to improve to 7-0 on the season, 2-0 in the Old Dominion Atl1letic- Confer- ence. W&L is also tied for first with defending champion Middlebury in the latest USILA Division III poll. “We felt that it was time for the program to move on,” W&L athletic director Mike Walsh said. “Jim has done a lot of good things for the pro- gram and the University, and we ap- preciate his 1 l—plus years of service.” Walsh also announced that head football coach Frank Miriello, who served as an assistant lacrosse coach at W&L in the early 1990s, will take over for the remainder of the season. Stagnitta compiled a 129-41 record in less than 12 years as the team’s coach. In addition, the 1984 graduate of Pennsylvania won six ODAC titles, secured five NCAA berths, and pro- duced 34 Division IH All-Americans. Despite the success, Walsh be- lieved that the decision was the right one to make. “Sometimes you just have to look past the numbers,” Walsh said. “Even though the only thing Jim hasn’t done for our program is win a national cham- pionship — and I’ll admit that he had a good chance of doing so this year — we felt that W&L men’s lacrosse was not headed in the right direction. “Call it a gut instinct, if you will.” W&L players were both aston- ished and bitter at the sudden firing. “This really doesn’t make any sense,” an anonymous senior co—cap- tain said. “Coach Stagnitta has built From Big Lex to the big time SI signs Trident columnist Denbow to replace Reilly By Marv Albert STA FF NIBBLER younger generation, which is what our magazine caters to. We couldn’t be happier with our new situation.” Denbow’s first column will appear in the May 7 issue. Terms of the deal were undisclosed, but Colson described the deal as including “a substantial amount of money.” Although happy for Denbow, several members of the Freshman Michael Denbow will soon leave The Tri- dent for bigger and better things. Sports Illustrated will announce this week that Denbow will replace longtime columnist Rick Reilly in writing the back—page column in the touted sports weekly, The Ring- tum Phi has learned. Reilly, author of “The Life of Reilly” colurrm that ap- pears on the last page of SI each week, will remain with the magazine in another capacity. While appreciative of the joumalist’s contributions in 16 years as a senior writer, SI managing editor Bill Colson feels that Denbow will bring even more insight and wit to the table. “Rick has done a fantastic job, but we feel that his services could be better used elsewhere, like in ‘Inside the NBA,”’ Colson said. “Michael is much more hip to the W&L community expressed their sadness at having one of the top writers removed from the local sphere. “It’s going to be a tough adjustment, not seeing his column on the back page of The Trident every week,” freshman Rick Gazica said. “At least I’ll be able to keep up with his splendid journalistic endeavors through my subscription to SI.” Colson cited Denbow’s March 14 column, “Look out Duke: Here comes Kentucky,” as a major sign that pointed to hiring Denbow. “That kind of college basketball analysis, you just don’t find coming from a college freshman,” Colson said. “Un- less you read The Ring—tu.m Phi, but that’s beside the point. And picking Kentucky as the national champion? Simply amazing. “Our editorial staff was already discussing making the hire, but that column really finalized the decision.” Questions, comments, or suggestions? I Contact Jeremy Franklin at X4060 or at phi@w|u.edu. The Phi sports pages will return to regularly scheduled programming on April 30. Study Outside Next Semester The Castle Rock Institute sponsors an officzarnpus study program that combines coursework in -reiigion, philosophy, literature and art with backpacking, climbing, biking and paddling. Limited space available for the Fall 2001 session: Aug. 27 —Dec. 10 Visit the CRT website to request an _application. Castle Rock Institute P.().. Box 792, Brevard, NC 28712 828~862-3759 WwW.castle - rock.0rg CAMP COUNSELORS Summer In New England! Have fun. Make A Difference. Camp Greylock & Romaca seek caring, energetic counselors and coaches. Co-ed staffs, competitive salaries + room & board. Internships are available. Located in the Berkshire Mountains of Massachusetts, 2.5 hours from Boston and NYC. Archery, Baseball, Basketball,,Climbing Wall, Creative Arts, Drama, Football, Golf, Gymnastics, Hiking, lnllne-Hockey, Lacrosse, Mountain Biking, Sailing, Soccer, Softball, Swimming, Tennis, Volleyball, Waterskiing, plus nursing and administrative positions. Camp Romaca for Girls: 888-2-romaca I www.campromaca.com What are you doing this summer? Camp Greylock for Boys.: 1 -8i00-842-5214 www_camggreylock.com very solid foundations for the program here, and the success we’ve had over the past couple of seasons has been unmatched in school history. “We had a legitimate shot at a na- tional title this year, but you can’t re- move the coach in midseason and still expect the team to play at its previous level.” Walsh would not comment on the coaching possibilities for next season, claiming that, “the team has experi- enced enough of a shakeup for now. We’ll save news of the future disband- ment — er, future changes, that is — to the program for after the season.” Stagnitta was unavailable for com- ment at press time. WRESTLING ' photo unclaimed ' A NEW LOW IN PROPAGANDA. Discouraged by low attendance at Washington and Lee sporting events, the athletic department is attempting to bring out students via a series of new promotions, such as Streakers’ Night. IE’ Backpack IE’ Passport IE’ Eurailpas re With a money—saving Eurail- pass, you can make tracks in Europe wherever and whenev- er the impulse moves you. l ‘fie 5? ‘/9/%/9fl7'lfi/@/% :9 W0MEN’S NIT A variety of Railpasses are available, ‘ . S -1- 1 including: Eurallpass Youth Flex — -' M inners S:n'1\E:C:l24 Travel any _10/15 days in 2 months 43 (17 countries). $458/599* NeWMexi°° 68 |‘2E {ail Eu rope Sun.,March25 James Madison 65 T I Ohio State 74 L V a V3 ‘___, Champiomhip America's Leader in Student Travel Losers gl:.d"S1\t/2I12l:Ch 28 62 1 — 8 0 0 -2 Clo u n c I‘ 10 . . 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