OCR::/Vol_104/WLURG39_RTP_20011203/WLURG39_RTP_20011203_001.2.txt 1 *. A ? J: P "57 3.755 (Q 55 2.. V‘ \f1AF'¥’lL 4 “O '15 WASi-ilt‘fi T“‘7 R‘'”‘' 3‘ “ ll“ .. ‘I N -'12’? 1 IX-Y‘---‘:’1'.\§ ’izi INSIDE , . ’ . .. A. A . - Iixliol . ’ W&L’: I’. ® P. 3? ., r>F~:t.«.l:rt<>-_~.~».r-: .=-rm: 1 j 2fjr'/ /‘ 2 _ (...t=.rec.9 ° d (§j’f‘§l V‘ ,, faspg, dnJ°:1‘”“e“\if‘ flj‘ “f H ‘W Datz said this was intentional. “Improving freshman aims is the Theatre, Lenfest Center. Free conceit, public in- Hanukkah begins. :1In,h h C:1::in t_ de 6? fly me 01 hm uc toflum “Compulsion will not get us a goal of everybody, but there’s differ- -o vited. Friday, Dec. 14 froegfi got k f 6:: _Omé€1,Se,r,el*g;1:et:O:S,(?nerneSternS Change in attitude, and that’s what ent ideas how to get there,” he said. Wednesday, Dec. 5 5 p.m.—Undergraduate exams end. m e fee or “me me an I ' we need,” Datz said. “Everybody’s well-intentioned.” ' 8:30 a.m.-—Customer Appreciation Sale. 7:30 p.m.—Holiday Dinner/Dance for fac- _ O t t T University Bookstore. ulty, administration and staff. Evans Dining Hall. adVeear10nal arenaeeleglsrs exeawnren teennldues through their certification program. to The public is invited to attend the organizational meeting on . Dec. 1 1, 2001 at 7 PM at the Rockbridge County Historical Society at H 0 p H I d 101 East Washington Street. There will be a slide show illustrating A . some local archaeological work. Contact James Hepner with ques- , tions at 463-8574 or 348-1464. Or get information online at http.'// n ' www.arch ocva. rg/. Christmas trees on sale ’ " O The physical plant is selling Frasier Firs ranging in height ' T y from 6 to 8 ft. for $30.00 each. The tree lot will open at the physical _ t u plant office near Woods Creek on Monday, December 3rd at 1:00 The Famny Ednear1°113lR1gnrS andnr1Vaey Aer (3150 known as ~ p_tn_ and will be open eaeh day from 3 nun to 4 n_m_ Monday the Buckley Amendment) protects the privacy and use of your edu- through Friday. Trees will be for sale until December 19th as long eddenin ree°rd- The reeenny enacted USA PATRIOT Act of 2001 as the Su ply lasts. slightly changed the circumstances under which federal law en- * u I P 1 You may also go to Skylark Farm to cut your own tree It wih foreement officials can obtain records without permission or prior open for sales Monday through Friday 8300 u_m_ to 4:00 n_m_ and notification, as well as the records kept of such disclosures. In the ? from 1:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m on Saturday and Sunday. Please call 377- Past» the registrar has released this lnrerrnanen erny Wren 3 e0P)’ or c I » 2747 before you go tree hunting written authorization. Please check the University’s policy at http:/ * /www.wlu.edu/registrar/ferpa.htm, specifically the sections on Dis- - losure of Education Records and Record of Disclosures. CNBC to feature C-School investors ° . . -— . y of the Unverszty Registrar n Members of the Williams investment Society will share their ‘ favorite stock market picks with a national television audience on ' ' * _ the CNBC program Power LLHZC/7 Tuesday, Dec. 4. p _ ~fi TWO l_OCOllOnS TO Serve During the live broadcast, which is expected to begin _ Ed Crannv tne Henry FOX Jr- Prefesser Or Engllshs has re" airing between 1:30-1:45 p.ni. on Tuesday, host Bill Griffeth eerved e_ yearlong fenewsnrp frernrne Nanenal endowment for the e _ will ask the students to elaborate on their recommendations. Hnrnannlee Tnese nrgnly eernpennve fenewenrpe Prevlde °Pp°r' 22 N. MQIH Slfeel Two professional portfolio managers will follow with their tunities for individuals to pursue advanced work in the humanities. Au ' L . 1 reactions. Craun will use his fellowship during the 2002-03 academic year exlng On CNBC is named on Cable Channel 12_ to complete his book, Fraternal Correction: The Ethics of Social 1' 464_ Criticism in Medieval English.He will spend part of the year finish- - - - ing up research in English university libraries, the British Library Historical diggers create local roots ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,, 4! walker A local chapter of the Archaeological Society of Virginia The project is astudy of the ethical debates within clerical and I _ (ASV) will be forming in December. The ASV has over reformist literature over how to practice fraternal correction in late ’ l_.eXlng'l'On 800 members dedicated to promoting the study of u Medieval England, the often public and harsh criticism of social archaeology and anthropology, especially, but limited to, evils, especially those committed by civil and religious authorities. the prehistoric and historic periods of Virginia. The ASV teaches --courtesy of W&L News Oflice , N 4 7/78 l‘‘€SUm€ ‘ . 7 » O C O pub |CC1'l'|Ol‘l a for W|l'l'l'€l“ red on January, 4, O . . O . . _. * + Fraternities O y 0 I , Sororities * . "' >l< Clubs , Student Groups A 4 Earn $10()()-$2000 this The Home Depot now hiring . ‘P * Semester Wlth the easy for night crew positions! - A Campusfund-raiser.com fr _ , , _ , -t-nembtann , _ Thats right! The Home Depots night shiftallows you to u auetge cgy three hour fundraising have your days...free! You II have the flexibility to spend Ema event Does not involve H more time with your family, attend school, or just spend _ - your days relaxing outdoors.And you’ll also have access - to at benefits 8: o ortunities! credit card 3" pl’ pt 1 ' ' ' ' ‘tint "leer .l ' .:‘i‘ is‘: apphcatlons. Fundralslng Wt .11 .. 01 mi 5, ll r St 0 p p 0 it it i i i s n on I dates are filling quickly, so |deQS . Freight Team Associate, 5 Uav5/N39hl‘»,S-L%it #0 835, A , call today! Contact ~ Receivi n g Associates 4 Condo Lodging-Serious Nightlife W k 4 h h i f h - _ ‘ 0 I‘ 0 II I‘ 5 ts , S ll C 3.5 Campusfund 8pm-midnight or Sam-9am In ‘WW9':l°=°ml==r'<°'=°'ll¢°t°='~ raiser.com at (888) 923 o Work 5 to 8 hou r shifts, 5 ti ' - ‘es - - between the hours of 8pm- am .1'navei._ . . u"ri’i_”5”r"r’:'i“'r“é""i':i 3238, or visit or 4am- I Oam n __Z'_-_?_°_‘_’_;_‘?§’_e_:EEi;.e__ - shifts ma va sit tl 1 WWW.SKITRAVEL.CDM ii ( Y ry gh * ‘ raiser.com . ' -,i 9 Apply today at any area store! ' 1. Once you have completed - 4 your application, ask to speak to a’ 4» member of our Management Team. V ' e We are an equal opportunity employer 8: drug-free workplace. . I W U I e U Gl'(~‘dl’ ('.Zlt‘(!(’l'S built iH)l‘(tl T W OCR::/Vol_104/WLURG39_RTP_20011203/WLURG39_RTP_20011203_003.2.txt MONDAY, DECEMBER 3, 2001 'TllEiil\;(..§--'llT=‘.ll}:>~;? STAFF EDITORIAL ’Tis the season to give thanks Too often our readers complain about not knowing the human face that lies behind the staff editorial mask. Of course, the Phi will not abandon its important task of instructing the uni- versity. To humor our readers, however, and in the spirit of the season, several editors and staff writers share the things they are thankful for. Alison is thankful for the abundance of news in Lexington. Andrew is grateful for the ability to ob- serve genius at close range. He credits mid- night basketball and the Phi with rescuing him from the mean streets of Lex and the typical lawless freshman life. Brett is thankful for the Bush presidency and its inspired leadership in these troubled times. Jeremy is thankful for the infield fly rule and, for North Carolina State’s victory over Florida State University. Kate is thankful for an upscale Co-op un- , Afraid to stock Splenda sweetner and a.variety " of hyperpotent, rnixable energy drinks. Katie is thankful for her scepter, crown and the dominion she exerts over picas and page editors alike. She also gives a special shout- out to “Da Flame,” the phattest playa in the Icy Hot Stuntaz Krew. Stay real, Flame. Kris is thankful for editors who extend sub- mission deadlines beyond the bounds of de- cency. And for Post-It notes. Latrina is thankful for the large office space, especially the desk that enshrines Maurice, her favorite computer. Matthew is thankful for the best Phi staff in living history and a cool personal office. In no particular order. Mary is thankful for the courage to take pictures of new people. Meg is thankful for the little things in life, like her summer internship in Germany with the State Department. Mike is thankful for Thunder Country, whose righteous beats get him through those long Sunday nights and Monday mornings. He wishes they would play George Harrison’s music more often. Paul is thankful for the business cave, which is more completely furnished than that of most deans. Merry Christmas, W&L, and don’t allow the faculty to pass the six-week pledgeship program. UOTE OF THE WEEK: TEE ll.l.a.3(}~'l’l,iE\rIl PEI PINIONS Next prez must rest tradition The most influential and long- lasting change that will come during our time at W&L won’t be in the form of bricks, and mortar. No, the new Reid Hall, the performance art facility and the Elrod University Commons will all be outdone by President Elrod’s suc- cessor. Washington and Lee is look- ing to move into the twenty-first cen- tury by raising our national reputa- tion' and attracting top—notch students - while remaining true to the traditions that make this such a special place; the next president will be terribly im- portant to that future. Three qualities in particular will be essential if the next president is to manage that balancing act success- f11lly. Respect for tradition. The Uni- versity expects that forty percent of the faculty will retire in the next seven years. Sinceso many aspects of the University can be changed by a simple faculty vote, Spring Term and the length of pledgeship have recently been at issue, it is essential to have a president who is going to lobby in favor of the W&L’s valuable tradi- tions. In fact, many students and alumni have expressed the view that tradi- tions such as the independence of the student body and the unique social atmosphere have been under assault. With so much new to soon come to the school, holding on to the old will become ever more difficult. In that regard, an alumnus may be an ideal candidate for the position because he will have enjoyed the ben- efits of our traditions firsthand and will fight to preserve them. The committee must be espe- cially careful in choosing a president because someone taken from another in- stitution may be apt to mold W&L into his vision of a school rather than respect the tradi- tions that are W&L’s foundation. Aflinity for the Greek system. Washington and Lee is part of a rap- idly shrinking group of universities that has a flourishing Greek system. Moves by the faculty to restrain the activities of fraternities and sororities indicate that many of them are hostile to the system. In such an atmosphere, RIGHT or THE AISLE __ KIIWAN and thejoys of living BREITT. KIRWAN OPINIONS EDIIOR PI-Ioro coIJRTF.s\' If/'1I"li".I:'I£.l.I'7LFl/.\"l.vlI‘F/J1‘H-l.l))'RH(),\f:.\' lI.l.['STRAT/lO.\I BY KATIE H0\x/F.I ,1. MYSTERY MAN: The University must carefully choose the next president. the University needs a president who is not just indifferent to or mildly sup- portive of the system, but one who will be committed to and vocally sup- portive of preserving and strengthen- ing the system. He will need to ensure that fraternities and sororities become more integrated with University life, not further pushed to the fringe as a particularly troublesome social aspect of the school. College is supposed to be a time of formation and maturation and the Greek system is an ideal way to teach students how to be a friend, the value of shared responsibility together. No single aspect does more to produce the unique W&L graduate than the Greek system and the next president will play a major role in either its stagna- tion and elimination or its growth and prosperity. Conservative academic opin- ions. It is undeniable that academia is beholden to liberal ideas and there is no respite in sight. The ivory tower is run by proponents of Women’s Stud- ies, Black Marxism, revisionist history, and host of other nutty, senseless pursuits. Once again, W&L is set apart and above by our resistance to such trends. The next president will be called upon to prevent Washing- ton and Lee from joining the band- wagon until these academic fads pass. One with conservative political and academic opinions will be best suited to protecting the University from this claptrap. A wildcard consideration is the possibility of bringing star power to Lexington. Other top-notch universi- ties have installed famous political ap- pointees as president and perhaps W&L should consider bringing a ce- lebrity to be our next leader. Ben Stein was smitten with Washington and Lee when he visited and has excellent academic credentials. Perhaps a fa- mous alumnus would be suited to lead the school. Tom Wolfe and Senator Warner immediately come to mind. The Presidential Search Commit- tee has a huge responsibility and the ability to chart the schools future. Let’s hope their choice exemplifies these characteristics. I’M ABOUT TO OPEN A CAN OF “\X/Hoop Ass.” ——ANONYMOUS PHI EDITOR—IN-CHIEF ABOUT TO TASTE AN ENERGY DRINK THE Editor-in-chief MatthewB.McDer'rnott Mike Agnello Katie Howell Alison Trinidad Latrina Stokes Brett T. Kirwan Andrew Latimer Matthew A. Coursen Kate Guy Jeremy Franklin Dave Crowell Mary Guy Meg Ferrara Paul Seifert Emily Barker Robert Floyd William Litton Brian Castleberry Charlie Tonelli Peter Djalaliev Associate Editor Layout Editor News Editor Asst. News Editor Opinions Editor Asst. Opinions Editor W&Life Editors Sports Editor Asst. Sports Editor Photo Editor Photographers Business Manager Asst. Business Manager Advertising Managers Circulation Director Internet Editor The Ring-tum Phi is published Mondays during the undergraduate school year at Washington and Lee Univer- sity, Lexington, Virginia. The Washington and Lee Publi- cations Board elects the Editor-in-chief, but The Ring- tum Phi is otherwise independent. The Ring-tum Phi welcomes all responsible submis- sions and letters. All submissions must be e-mailed to phi@wlu.edu or in the University Center mailbox by 5 p.m. Friday to appear in the following week's edition. The ' Ring-tum Phi reserves the right to edit submissions for con- tent and length. Letters and columns do not necessarily reflect the opinion ofthe Ring-tum Phi Editorial Board. Ad- vertising does not reflect the opinions of The Ring-tum Phi or its staff. This newspaper observes current court defini- tions of libel and obscenity. The Ring-tum Phi Mailing Address: University Center Washington and Lee University Lexington, Virginia 24450 Street Address: 31 Washington Street Lexington, Virginia 24450 Telephone: (540) 462-4060 Fax: (540) 462-4059 Email: phi@wlu.edu http://phi.wlu.edu Letters to the Editor Dorm Counselors respond Dear Editor, Once again, your wit, insight, common sense, and dedication to providing accurate details have shone through in an anonymous editorial criticizing the dorm counselor’s table in the D-Hall. Our selfish desire to eat our fourteen meals, in the company of upperclassmen who can understand many of our own problems better than most freshmen would never have been revealed to us as inhumane. How pleasing it is to now know that freshmen. DO want us around for those extra hours, when we can share with them our frustration with lnterrnediate Accounting, Organic Chemistry, the MCAT, the LSAT, GREs, fellowship applications, job interviews, etc. Instead of giving fresh- men the chance to discuss their worries and concerns with the people most likely to share those same concerns and understand them (i.e. other freshmen), we need to intrude. As you said anonymously, “[the] bonding that takes place cannot be overrated.” You have rightly pointed out that this bonding needs to be with us, not classmates who will be here for them for the next four years. Alas, all our other attempts to interact with freshmen are appar- ently for naught. Oh, the thought of a disappointed look from Laetitia Pate Evans causes us all to bow our heads in shame over our trays of chicken tenders and various wrap bar creations. Though you, who hide behind the authori- tative mask of anonymity, knew her as well as us (i.e. not at all), the use of her name to support your opinion is undoubtedly justified by your wisdom and clout. We humbly apologize to those freshmen we have failed, including you, dear unnamed editorial authors of the Phi, who were freshmen once, and, hence, neglected. And so, freshmen, when you see us approaching your table, cease your babbling about that cute upperclassman, the number of beers you downed last night, or whatever it is you’re hiding in your room unbeknownst to us, and allow us to sit with you and express our upperclassmen trouble! Sincerely, The Dorm Counseling Staff 200]-02 DC staff desen/es to ignore freshmen Dear Editor, I was surprised to see such a piece (in the Nov.l2 issue) of foolishness by the paper’s staff regarding dorm counselors and their D—Hall table. Aside from the fact that the entire basis of your argument is a loud whine from those who were never invited to sit at that table as fresh- men, I find serious fault in your referring to the Dorm Counselor meal plans as “gratis.” Can you honestly say that spending one or both of your upperclassman years living in a hall of freshmen isn’t payment of any kind? Granted, it’s a personal decision to take on that challenge, and an enjoyable year for the most part. But to sacrifice having your own house, driveway, privacy, escape, anything for your junior or senior year is no small thing. So big deal if the dorm counselors want to sit together. Many of them are friends, classmates, fraternity brothers and sorority sisters—people they would normally eat with anyway. Grant them 20 minutes of peace from only being a door—knock away. And if you really want to cry about it, go talk to them—it’s what they’re trained for... Sincerely, Nate Tencza ‘99 “For break to last for two “A 1974 911 Turbo.” —-J on Albanese ‘O4 . mon 79 “To leave Lexington.” --Sahir Khanna, ‘O4 ——Marysia Golubiewska, ‘04 “My car back.” -—Diya Vohra, ‘O3 GOP’s economic plan ruins bipartisanship Democrats righfeousy retrse to pass bad bill The bizarre scenes of Congressional Republicans and Democrats shaking hands in agreement on Senate steps since 9/ 11 are fleeting fast. Several issues in Washington have redrawn party lines in a big way. The biggest issue right now: the economy. President Bush used his weekly radio address last week to ask that Congressional Democrats quickly pass his economic stimulus bill that quickly was passed in the Republican—controlled House. The bill is now in limbo in the Democrat—controlled Senate. CNN.com reports the President had this to say, “There are two immediate priorities for America’s re- covery. We must bring quick help to those who need it most, and we must re- store our economy’s growth. It’s the holiday season. It’s a time to reach out to Americans who are hurting,’to help them put food on the table and to keep a roof over their heads.” However, Democrats in the Senate have not passed the bill because, as proposed, it does not do that. It seems the President is playing politics with this bill instead. In the weekly Democratic radio address, Senator Harry Reid of Nevada pointed out that the President’s economic stimulus plan provides no real relief for work- ers laid off since the economic slowdown that began in March. The situation has only worsened since Sep- tember 1 1th, and it would seem that the holiday season is the appropriate time to provide Americans with re- lief. So why does the President’s economic plan not offer any unemployment and healthcare benefits for those who have lost their jobs? Last month the Washington Post reported that un- employment in the District of Columbia was worst for hard-working immigrants in service industries. Often working more than one job to put their kids through school in the hopes of a better life, these are the people that have been laid off while the country’s hotels and restaurants suffer bad business. Instead, the President’s proposed economic plan offers tax breaks primarily to big business, extending unemployment benefits for the individual by only thir- teen weeks in states hardest hit by the attacks of 9/ 1 1. With the country headed further into its current deficit for the year, such risky tax cuts will not spur economic growth. The President argues the money can beused to create more jobs. Cutting taxes for industry LEFT or CENTER NICK RAMSEY ‘03 will not help create more consumer demand that is what will create jobs. Furthermore, the President wants to accelerate the proposed tax cuts for next year. Just as his last tax trick (remember that refund check?) did nothing to aid the flailing economy, this plans seems no different. Rightly so, Democrats also oppose this plan when an additional $7.5 billion is needed for national defense this year, further escalating Washington’s impending deficit. This past week the White House admitted that a deficit would in fact be a reality this year. It is quite clear that at this time President Bush’s $1.35 trillion tax cut is to blame. Hindsight is like that. Senate Majority leader Tom Daschle spoke on the issue this week as well. “There is a sensitivity right now in the administration about the Bush economy. We are in a recession. That is something we predicted a long time ago.” Harry Reid reiterated to the President that help- ing unemployed people at the source is what must be done. “Extending unemployment benefits is not only the right thing to do — it's also the single best thing we can do to help our economy. Unemployed workers need that money — to buy groceries, pay the rent, and keep the lights and heat on this win- ter,” Reid said. Republicans are crying foul that Democrats would result to “politics as usual.” However, Tom Dacshle had this to say about the Republicans’ woes: “We strongly support his (Bush’s) efforts in Afghanistan and we think that he deserves high marks. We have significant difference of opinion with him on the _ economy, economic policy, and I wouldn’t give him high marks to the economy.” It is important to remember at this time of war, that the liberty to challenge the administration still remains. It is what makes this nation what it is. America is not a nation where political opinion should go un- heard. Moreover, Republicans using the current situa- tion to badmouth Democrats that are fighting for a more efficient and beneficial economic plan is really the clearest example of “politics as usual.” 0" “For Bulgaria to win the World Cup” --Vassil Stamenov, ‘O4 OCR::/Vol_104/WLURG39_RTP_20011203/WLURG39_RTP_20011203_004.2.txt PAGE 4 I feel kind of bad for Christ- mas because it climbs an uphill battle at W&L. It’s like everyone gets real geared up for the holidays for Christmas Weekend and loses sleep over the pressing issues including, but not limited to, finding a date, finding something to wear, and be- ing able to hit multiple band par- ties without pissing off your afore- mentioned date. And then after that weekend, we go back to pulling our hair out about school, due to looming finals. Granted, Christmas gets celebrated plenty once our work is finished and were home. But why wait that long? There is an assortment of institutions that, like Christmas, are not widely enough appreciated. So in honor of the holi- day season, I’m capping off my last Phi piece of 2001 with a list of things that we should better appre- ciate and consider during these hectic times: 1. Fruits that get stuck with bad names and dwarfed beneath mainstream foods like apples and oranges. Boysenberries. The Asian Pear. Although their names reek of glamour, they are commonly over- looked and pushed downward in the fruit social caste system. MEIIIIY CHRISTMAS! lwrfunflzsrmanltllnumrssesml Come by and see Skip, Marla, Connie and l/l/ilson. ‘ SKIP T||0MPSON'S 22 S. Main Street - Lexington, VA Open Mon, Tues., Thurs, & Fri. 8 a.m. - 5 p.m.; Sat. 8 a.m. - noon; Closed Wed. & Sun. 540-463-5954 2. Rock stars that forgot to be talented but still come through in the clutch with holiday CD’s. There is no better way to ring in Christmas than a moving version of Britney’s “Oh Holy Night” or *Nsync’s “Oh Come All Ye Faith- ful.” These Kings of Pop reconcile Christmas commercialism with MONDAY, DECEMBER 3, 2001 4 Overlooked items receive recognition Onomatopoeia, smaller SU Vs, fruits and Britney’s Christmas album all make list of things that deserve a ‘Thank you’ saved due to onomatopoeia should be entered into a time bank, and then saved for a rainy day when you have too much to do and need more time. 5. Underappreciated SUVs like Rav—4’s. Like the fruit pariahs, they typically are mocked by the more acceptable SUVs like Sub- good old-fash- urbans and 4- ioned holiday V . VVVVV Runners. Al- spirit. though a Rav-4 3. The abil— " KRlSPOLl.lNA‘03 does resemble ity for soap on windows to look like snow. I hate it when it doesn’t snow in December; Ican’t imagine living in a perpetu- ally warm climate with no hope ofa white Christmas. Luckily, soap on windows can masquerade as snow, assuaging these fears, and all it takes is Windex to alter the per- ceived weather. 4. Onomatopoeia. Words that sound like the word they de- scribed make relating stories infi- nitely easier. For example, instead of wasting time looking for a word that conveys severe cold, you can simply assert, “Burr.” The best part is, when you’re writing on a word processor, the spell check recognizes it as a real word and doesn’t put a squiggly line underneath it. All the time Yoshi of the Su- per Mario World persuasion, it still can endure wild terrain and protruding sticks and branches in the road. We should give it an- other chance. 6. The blanket term “flesh- colored.” In a world of such diver- sity, a term thatjust assumes all the same color skin somehow is a uni- fying force, eradicating the actual hue implications and suggesting that all flesh is flesh, and not a color. 7. Electronic Megaphones. Almost resembling a gun, it puts across the message that communi- cation is more powerful than vio- lence. Also, it plays songs, allow- ing the user to learn more about college fight songs. 8. That catch game you play at the beach with a Velcro tennis IS taniislutl ii? to in ER ball and Velcro mitts. You never miss the ball, boosting athletic mo- rale and overall confidence in hope— . ful youth. 9. Bumper stickers on other people’s cars, not your own. They prevent boredom in unruly traffic jams. 10. Middle school-style desks that have an indentation at the top for a pencil. During naptime, this prevents writing utensils from slip- ping down and hitting your head, affording the student maximum rest time potential. 11. Tom, the butcher at Kroger’s. If you ever need meat late at night and don’t want any atti- tude about it, hit up Tom, the ever- pleasant 60-something mind behind the goods. The earth is leaking with uncelebrated heroes and treasures. Test tubes. Steak tongs. Cookie Dough. Wands. During these crazed times of fi- nal examinations and other colle- giate trials and tribulations, I en- courage you to relish the simple pleasures in life. Personally, I value the fact that since this is the last Phi before break, no one can write a strongly worded response to my monument to blatant inanity for another month. onomatopoeia and made good usage of the underappreciated literary tool. |’H( m )(j()l'RTF.SY or TV L'lDF. ARCHIVES SNAP, CRACKLE, Pop: As Batman, Ad:1m.\V'est understood the value of Have an opinion? Want to share it with campus? Seeking to create controversy? Enjoy receiving nasty letters? Contact Opinions Editor Brett Kim/an at X5134 or kirwanb @wlu or join us at 7 on Jan. 7. SKE UP TO 91 DRYS FOR THE PRICE OF. 4! Garth/lore “Free" From Your Free Time! Wintergreen Resort 434-335,-8155 w\vw._'§l'iitnta:rgreenResnrt.cum. 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