OCR::/Vol_115/WLURG39_RTP_20120402/WLURG39_RTP_20120402_001.2.txt Uhc6“8ored. I I OPINIONS/Pa9e?t prices’. Scarecrows should be afraid. I According to one professor, corn is evil and we should all stop whining about gas A&L/ page 6‘ WASHINGTON AND Lisis UNIVERSITY ” THE RING-TUM PHI, MONDAY, APRIL 2, 2012 BY THE STUDENTS AND FOR THE STUDENTS SINCE 1897 4. VOLUME CXV,NUMiBER1/6' W&L’s Beautific tion Initiative W&L Ofiice of Admissions reveals the real reason all applicants are required to submit a headshot ByCampbe|| Burr OPINIONS EDITOR On Sunday, the W&L Office of Ad- missions admitted to implementing a “Beauty Initiative” four years ago. The plot was uncovered after suspicion from other top liberal arts and Ivy League schools who realized that their incom- ing students had the same achievement levels as W&L’s, but were a lot less attractive. W&L admissions officer, Howie Looking, created the project after W&L alums expressed concern that the school’s increasingly competitive admis- sions process would compromise the at- tractiveness of the student body. The “Beauty Initiative” requires all applicants to submit a headshot along with test scores, transcripts, and essays. In addition to reviewing applicants’ aca- demic achievements, officers rank each applicant from I to I0 on a “beauty scale.” Though beauty rankings are not weighed as highly as grade point aver- age, admissions officers have admitted that in the last two years, beauty rank- ings have had as much weight as high school extracurricular involvement in some cases. Yale admissions officer, Anita May Kover, led the investigation of W&L’s admissions process. She hired an under- cover detective to pose as a W&L student fulfilling her work-study requirement at the admissions ofifice. While “filing,” the detective found beauty scales inside each applicant’s folder. She stole a few and brought them to her boss. Kover emailed the W&L admissions team, “We have Happy Derby Games “Philanthropy ’’format to rave reviews and staunch criticism Sigma Chi revamps its By Frances Everclear STAFF WRITER The popularity of the Hunger Games series, which includes The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, and Mockingjay, has exploded on the Washington and Lee campus, especially within the sorority community. Deciding to capitalize on the excitement surrounding the series, Sigma Chi spent the winter giving a mas- sive overhaul to their traditional week- long charity event: starting this year, the Derby Days will feature a fight to the death with one sorority first-year crowned Champion of the Derby Games. The overall format copies of your beauty scales. You’re busted.” The W&L team responded, almost immediately. “We’re busted?'Hope you put those beauty scales to use!” Williams’ admissions officer, Hugh lass, was asked to comment. He defend- ed the Williams admissions process as “need-blind and beauty-blind.” He con- tinued, “We may not have the best look- ing campus in the nation, but at least we don’t have the shallowest.” The W&L admissions team denied accusations of having a “shallow” pro- cess, claiming that students are happier when they are surrounded by prettier people. “At W&L, students’ happiness is first and foremost,” said May Beeshal- low, a W&L admissions officer. To avoid future trouble, the W&L ad- missions team has decided to announce all other “secret” initiatives in the works. The team revealed that in coming years, they may require applicants to fill out an additional form to determine whether they would fit in at W&L; Washington & Lee University’s Ap- plication for Admission, Part II would request basic information, as well de- tails regarding beer chugging and swing dancing abilities, and political affiliation. Even after the huge backlash, the W&L admissions team has no intention of doing away with the Beauty Initia- tive. Ms. Beeshallow commented, “We are satisfied with our process. We look for students with a ‘good head on their for the new Derby Days is known, but some of the details will remain closely guarded secrets before the Games. The event will start, much like the previ- ous version, the first Monday of Spring Term. Four members of each sorority’s pledge class will be chosen through what is being called a “mutual selection process.” First-years will be picked at chapter meetings and provided a Sigma Chi mentor to coach them through the pre- shoulder,’ literally and fig- uratively. The only adjust- ment we’re considering is giving the beauty rank- ings more weight in the admission decision.” GPA - Games. The 24 sorority women will represent their sorority in a pre-Games public interview and pre-Games train- ing before being put into the arena on Wednesday afternoon. After the start of the Games, Derby Days will become a free-for-all; much like the original Derby Days, rules that arise during the Games are temporary or will be disre- garded. Obstacles for the participants are undetermined as of yet, but frater- nity members have hinted that skills in baking themed desserts, keg stands, and handling greased waterrnelons would be helpful to survival. Sigma Chi has decided to keep upperclassmen and members of other fraternities and organizations involved by allow- ing them to cheer on the side- lines and send care packages to the first-years, which may include anything from lettered sweatbands to emergency Redbulls. The actions of the first- years will be covered on WLUR, several live webcam feeds, and on Twitter on @theder- bygames. The money . e _ Class 1 catholic? Are you a R I I ePu - es No raised by entry fees and structured gam- bling will be split between the winner’s sorority’s national philanthropy and the host’s beer fund. The reaction to the new Days has been decidedly mixed. In general, frater- nity members have responded well to the idea. “It’s just like the powderputf game on steroids. I don’t see what everyone’s getting so upset about,” reasoned junior Peter Meriwether, while senior Gates Harkness said, “Everyone loves watch- ing it. Did you see the Kappa-KD game last year? Sick, am I right?” Sophomore Kathryn DeWitt agreed. “I loved Derby Days last year! Plus, my sorority has the best class of freshmen. Somebody we pick is going to win. Ijust might vol- unteer my little...she’s a champ. The people complaining are just jealous they didn’t join a sorority of winners. Sorry ‘bout it.” F irst-year Ellery Spald- ing, looking visibly upset about the an- nouncement, expressed a much different view. “I’m really nervous about the new format. I love all the books, but I didn’t think this would happen in real life. And I was really looking forward to bond- ing with my whole pledge class.” When questioned if she would decline to par- ticipate in the Derby Games, Spalding said, “Well, obvs I’ll do it. It’s real death or social death so...I guess real death will be fine.” Fellow first-year Mary Margaret Coleridge added, “I’ve been training for this since February. I haven’t eaten in, like, two days and I can still run for miles without stopping. I hope I get picked. Plus, you get wear to wear cute tanks and Norts! Still, the whole dying thing is kind of terrible. Whatever.” The drastically altered format has come under fire from the Panhellenic Council as well as school officials. Pan- hel released a statement referring to the restructuring as “detrimental to the spirit of sisterhood” and “unfair to sororities with smaller new active pledge sizes.” One dean was quoted as saying, “How were they able to clear this event in the first place? Surely this can’t be legal?” A representative for Sigma Chi re- sponded to the controversy with, “The Games will be regulated by Sigma Chi brothers to ensure the utmost level of fairness and respect between competi- tors. Good luck to all first-years, and may the odds be ever in your favor. Kid- ding. You’re all screwed.” I OCR::/Vol_115/WLURG39_RTP_20120402/WLURG39_RTP_20120402_002.2.txt UNIVERSITY LIBRARY wnsnmsrou & LEE uurvensmr LEXINGTON, VA 24450 2 - THE RING-TUM PHI - MONDAY, APRIL 2, 2012 IIEWS . the same BOLDNESS Unemployment’: the final solution Economies Professor introduced lz By Ernesto Superbius, Ph.D. G U E s T w R IT E R Ernesto Superbius received his Ph.D. in 1985 from the University of Santiago in Chile. Upon graduation, General Au- gusto Pinochet and Prof. Milton Fried- man personally bestowed upon him the coveted Von Mises Prize in Economics for his dissertation on “The Enforcement of Free Markets.” Now a U.S. citizen, Dr. Superbius holds the Ronald Reagan Chair in Advanced Economic Theory and Remedial Arithmetic at Northern South Dakota Community College. He recently gave the following lecture at a joint meeting of the Lexington Libertar- ian League and the local chapter of Mor- mons and Evangelicals United for Big Business, Small Government and Vari- ous Wedge Issue. According to the New York Times, the electronics giant, Apple, has cre- ated 700,000 manufacturing jobs in China and other foreign countries, but only 43,000 here at home. Just before he died, Steve Jobs bluntly told Presi- dent Obama that the positions Apple has moved to China will NEVER return to America. Another Apple executive add- ed “We don’t have an obligation to solve America’s problems.” From ’my own libertarian perspective, I think Apple has it right. By having no obligations to America, the company made over $108 billion last year—more - than the budgets of the states of Michi- gan, New Jersey and Massachusetts put together. The company’s CEO took home $427 million in company stock- -in addition to his $1.7 million salary. Not a bad Apple! Like Apple executives, we liber- tarians don’t have to solve America’s problems either—unless, of course, they get out of hand. Mitt Romney recently said he’s not worried about the poor. He clearly was thinking of Marx’s Lumpen- proletariat, the low-class parasites that live on charity, disability payments and food stamps. If that’s what he had in mind, Romney is absolutely right. Our Lord Himself said we would always have the poor among us. (He obviously had in mind the malodorous defectives who hang out in the restrooms of Grey- hound bus stations and public libraries. You’ll never get rid of all of them--not “even with buekshot,” as we say out West). = . What we libertarians and Mormons- and-Evangelicals-United SHOULD worry about is the unemployment of the SUPRA-lumpens, the stratum one level above the parasites. Why? Because these people, the cream of the proletari- at, VOTE! And we want those votes to support our big business-small govem- ment agenda. What we need today is a FINAL SO- LUTION to unemployment of the supra- lumpens. In their wisdom, America’s financial leaders have sold off the better part of our manufacturingbase to China and other countries~something the elite of other countries would never DREAM of doing. We have DARED to move into the post-industrial age. You have to admit that that took REAL GUTS and REAL COMMITMENT to FREE TRADE! Our leaders must now be equally gutsy about solving the resulting problem of post-industrial unemployment. Unlike de facto unemploy- ment, STRUCTURAL UNEM- PLOYMENT is something that demands the libertar- ian’s attention. I am con- vinced that we can bring and CONSISTENCY to this problem that we have brought the na- tion’s other social and moral issues. We just have to stick to our AB- SOLUTE ECONOMIC PRINCIPLES. According to the economic theory "of “comparative advan- tage,” countries that want to prosper from in- ternational trade should do what they’re really good at. But what IS the United States good at now ‘that we‘ have given up manufactur- ing? The answeris staring us in the face: WAR, or, if you like, KEEPING THE PEACE. Every- one knows that the U.S. has the most powerful military machine in the world. Every year, we spend roughly $680 billion on defense, more than the military budgets of the next ten nations combined. We have between 900 to 1,100 bases in foreign lands, outposts that cover some 29,819,492 (rented) acres. Writing in the “Asia Times,” Nick Turse says that “the US military maintains an empire of bases so large and shadowy that no one- -NOT EVEN AT THE PENTAGON--re- ally knows its full size and scope.” This huge investment makes it possible for us to fight two or three wars whenever and wherever we please. Instead of just SPENDING money on defense, why not use the military to MAKE money—AND SIMULTANE- OUSLY SOLVE THE NATION’S UN- EMPLOYMENT PROBLEM? Here’s what I propose: Let’s turn the U.S. mili- tary into the world’s largest, most lethal MERCENARY FORCE. Yes, let’s rent out our troops to countries around the world—and make war profitable for a change. In the American Revolution, the Brit- ish rented 30,000 Hessian soldiers from Landgrave Frederick 11 of Hesse-Kassel. This was a win-win situation for every- one. It saved gallons of British blood and poured thousands of golden ducats into the coffers of the German princes. What were the British doing? They were OUTSOURCING their war in America- -just what we did when we hired Black- water and other private contractors to help us out in Iraq and Afghanistan. Unfortunately, political correct- ness and pseudo-patriotism blind some people to the UTILITY of mercenary warfare. Most of our recent wars have resulted in a horrific loss of blood, trea- sure and national reputation. It’s time to let someone else call the shots. At least then we won’t be blamed for cost- overruns, friendly-fire, lost battles and other screw-ups. My mercenarification program will transform the army into a LIMITED LIABILITY COMPANY that will create a much-needed ZONE OF IMMUNITY around our military and political leaders. Here are some mercenarification’s other pluses: ’ Mercenary warfare doesn’t have to be “just.” Once Congress adopts my plan, a “just war” will become just a war. Those of you who know something about the history of economic develop- ment know that the same thing happened to the medieval idea of the “just price.” In today’s capitalist world, a “just price” is just a price. Thanks to mercenarifica- tion, the old idea of “causus belli” will be relegated to the history of theology. Once our mercenaries hit the road all we have to do is collect the rent! Like all economists--from Adam Smith to my own dear teacher, Milton Friedman--I worry a lot about monopo- lies. Because a monopoly, by definition, is a business with no competition, it is inefficient and inflationary. A “natural mo- nopoly,” on the other hand, is some- thing else. Take your public utilities. It would be counterproductive to have two or three electric, gas, water, or sewage treatment companies serving the same city. So we choose just one and grant it a monopoly over a specific service. Your local police force is good example. You wouldn’t want Lexington to have two or three police departments just so they could “compete” with each other. Because competing police forces would invite corruption and even bloodshed, they wouldn’t bring costs down. Just imagine a shoot-out in downtown Lex- ington between competing police units! For the same reason, we wouldn’t want to have competing national armies. We don’t need THAT kind of “competi- tion!” Since the military is a natural mo- nopolyflone that the government must have and pay for in any case--WHY NOT MAKE IT AS PROFITABLE AS YOUR LOCAL SEWAGE DEPART- MENT? Many cities are already outsourcing jobs and applying free-market models to government. Your city manager, for (Mubarak didn’t have any oil money to spend on mercenaries,.but a savvy U.S. administration could have pried the Suez Canal away from him in return for a few battalions). The much-maligned DICK CHENEY was actually onto something when he predicted that, once we had our hands on the spigots of Iraqi oil, the war against Saddam Hussein would pay for itself. Unfortunately, the liberal, nice-guy Obama administration forgot to send Nouri al-Maliki’s government the bill! That’s why we’re still out the $1 trillion we spent on that war (not to mention the $9 billion unaccounted for, and the $6.6 billion that was stolen). TRUTH BE TOLD, CHENEY DIDN’T GO FAR ENOUGH. We need wars that not only pay for themselves; we need ones that will turn a profit. True, the government would have to put some “seed money” into mercenarification. But doesn’t China subsidize its state- owned industries? Didn’t Japan and the “Asian Tigers” do the same thing‘? And just look how well they are doing! Critics worry that mercenarifica- tion will result in a high toll in human Instead of just SPENDING money on defense, why not use the military to Ill/IKE money—AND SI- MULTANEOUSLY SOLVE THE NATION’S UNEM- PLOYMENTPROBLEM? example, is a good example ofoutsourc- ing. He is simply a private contractor paid to do what mayors and other elected officials are supposed to do. The wide- spread use of city managers makes the astute libertarian wonder why the rest of government can’t be outsourced. Elimi- nating elected positions makes perfect economic sense. It would maximize ef- ficiency, cut government spending and expand the private sector. State universities show how public institutions can'be used to attract foreign capital. In recent years, state legislatures have slashed university budgets by more than a half. Some have cut back admis- sions to in-state residents in order to ad- mit more foreign students whose tuition is often THREE TIMES HIGHER than that of in-state students. Some foreign students even pay an annual surcharge of up to $2,500. Every year, these students add some $21 billion to our economy. If the Grand Poobahs of the Chinese Communist Party are willing to pay this much to educate their kids, think what they would pay to put down a political uprising! Beleaguered leaders like Syria’s Bashar al-Assad would be delighted to rent the Marines for a few weeks. Muammar Gaddafi, Slobodan Milosevicand Hosni Mubarak ended up in the dustbin of history just be- cause we couldn’t af- ', ford to help them. life, that the public will sour on the idea when the body bags start to come home, or that people will treat returning veter- ans poorly. These objections must be handled with great sensitivity--but with hard heads too. The answers can be found in con- temporary attitudes toward the military. Civilians no longer look at soldiers the way they did years ago in the days of the draft. In effect, the all-volunteer army has lifted an enormous burden from the shoulders of the public. No longer do we have to fret about veterans’ personal lives—their post-warjoblessness, home- lessness,_drug-addictions, post-traumatic stress syndromes, amputations, suicides, criminality and sexual perversions. To put it blunt1y~and we libertarians are as BLUNT as we are CONSISTENTI--the responsibility for what happens to sol- diers has ALREADY BEEN SHIFTED TO THEIR OWN SHOULDERS. Think about it! Under mercenarifica- tion, no one will be compelled to enlist. Mercenaries will sign up because they want the excitement of ‘foreign travel, as well as the training, pay and respect that come from wearing the/U.S. uni- form. They are the ones who want the is solution to unemployment and American defense spending in his lecture last Friday ones who will be signing the service contract--not your average tax-payer! As everyone knows, A CONTRACT IS A CONTRACT. So who IS responsible for what hap- pens to the soldier? THE SOLDIER HIMSELF! We’re talking here about PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY- -something that all of us libertarians, conservatives, Mormons and Evangeli- cals firmly believe in. This is what made America great. Taking personal respon- sibility for our lives is the ONLY way out of the economic morass created by our liberal past! I predict that as our mercenaries be- gin deploying abroad, the unemployed will enlist in droves. I also predict that the mercenaries will have a “multiplier effect” on the whole economy. Taxes will come down and incomes will go up. The middle class, now threatened by Obama’s pacifism, will flourish once again. As the business picks up, tax revenues will pour into the Treasury- -just as gold poured into the coffers of those Hessian princes during the Ameri- can Revolution. The wimps now"call- ing for cuts in defense spending will be silenced once’ and for all. Liberal tax-hikers will be stopped dead in their tracks. Gratuitous amenities like Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid can be dismantled. School teachers can be rehired--even the music teachers. State parks that were closed during the Great Recession will be reopened (and then, hopefully, privatized). The national debt will not only shrink; I predict it will disappear altogether. Since foreign countries will be relying on U.S. forces to maintain law and order, military bud- gets around the world will shrink. This, in turn, will result in greater global sta- bility and higher profit margins for all. In short, mercenarification will result in what President Ronald Reagan called “moming in America.” Indeed, the sun will rise on the whole world! There’s nothing wrong with being the world’s cop--if, like doctors, you’re paid on a fee-for-service basis. But to police the world without being paid at a11~THAT’S SHEER MADNESS! If mercenarification is NOT adopted, I’d like to know how we are going to pay for the world’s most expensive mili- tary, the world’s most costly health sys- tem, Social Security and the rest of our socialist system? What are we going to do about the national debt? How can we pay for these things with the paltry tax revenues generated by the low wages and chronic unemployment of our new, post-industrial economy? It’s high time we conservatives, lib- ertarians and members of Mormons- and-Evangelicals-United all started to think‘ about these things. If we don’t, the liberals, socialists and fascists will use them as grist for their own gov- ernment to pay for their dark, sa- tanic mills. And col— lege education once that we don’t need! i they are out. Most \\ Thank ' important: you and they are the O OCR::/Vol_115/WLURG39_RTP_20120402/WLURG39_RTP_20120402_003.2.txt r.1“t>“"" WASHINGTON AND LEE UNIVERSITY REAL ‘PHI. THE RING-TUM PHI. MONDAY, APRIL 2, 2012 BY THE STUDENTS Wolfe seminar AND F0 THE STUDENTS SINCE 1897‘ VOLUMECXV,NUMBERl6 features McCann Featured author Colum McCann discusses how the voices of Tom Wolfe and many others have influenced his writing By Tommy Kent 5 TA F F w R I T E R The 9th Annual Tom Wolfe Week- end Seminar, sponsored by the Class of 1951, brought alumni back to Washing- ton and Lee for a weekend filled with literary discussion. This year the event featured the author Colum McCann who discussed his award-winning novel Let the Great World Spin. For the opening event, Colum Mc- ‘ Cann gave a lecture in Lee Chapel en- titled “The Art of Knowing the World through Fiction.” Wolfe, in introducing McCann, said, “[The weekend seminar] really is a great honor. I’m trying to think of a word ‘for it... posthumous. It makes me feel posthumous.” While speaking of the merits of Mc- Cann’s writing, Wolfe said, “I want to sit down with [McCann] after this and learn about all of his reporting techniques. I was spell bound and greatly surprised. If there is anyone who hasn’t read Let the Great World Spin, you are in for a marvelous time.” McCann followed Wolfe and began his lecture by describing his childhood and how he came to be a writer. Mc- COY FERRELL/ staff photographer Cann said: “So much of everything goes back to our fathers. My dad was a news- ~ paper editor in Dublin. He used to come home with books.” These books, includ- ing those written by Wolfe, inspired Mc- Cann to experiment with reporting. McCann said, “As a teenager I knew somehow that [Wolfe] in particular was shifting my world view sideways.” He cited Wolfe’s Bonfire of the Vanities as a specific influence. “We get our voice from the voices of others. So much of ‘ my voice has come from the great Tom Wolfe and my father and other authors,” said McCann. Relay raises over $15,000 By Neil Haggerty NEWS EDITOR Students, faculty and members of the Lexington community walked in the fight against cancer at Relay for Life this weekend at the Canaan Green. The 394 participants at the event helped ...generate $_l5,l 19'for the American Cancer Society. Nineteen teams of organizations on campus, including fac- ulty departments, clubs, fraternities and sororities, raised money by soliciting donations and setting up food stands and activities at the V three tearns atthe event were Pi Beta Phi, raising .-;s,2,49y9,. Keeping HOPE Alive, raising $2,119 and Sigma Nu, isirfg $1,907,. Top participants were Robert Uhlman from Sig- Nu aI1d‘Ch,ristina and Chuck Winschel from Keeping HOPE ‘ Alive, 0 ' event lasted from 5:30 p.m. on Friday until 5:45 a.m. .. I on Saturday and included Zumba activities,‘ raffles, children’s‘ activities, a Professor shaved head contest won by Mathemat- S Professor, Carrie Finch, inflatable slides and pillow bashes, M11sicand' performances by General Admissions, Southern ‘fort, Jubilee, Drew Martin an'd‘the_ Limelights, Washing- es and “The Gatehouse.” The; event also included the tradition of lighting luminaries at . , in honor of loved ones who lost their lives to cancer and ‘hope for those continuing to battle cancer. L McCann added: “It seemed to me that the art of knowing the world was not only in the art of telling, but in the art of imagining. I began to realize at an early age that creative reading isjust as impor- tant as creative writing.” In a gesture toward Tom‘Wolfe, M'c- Cann said, “We are an accumulation of voices. I would not be here but for the generosity of this gentleman here.” McCann emphasized the importance of experimenting with writing and tak- ing on obscure characters. McCann, in describing the writing process, quoted Kurt Vonnegut, who said, “You should be continuing to jump off cliffs and de- veloping wings on the way down.” McCann. said: “I’m somewhat sick of the world. We need stories. Stories create what is yet to come. Literature proposes possibilities and then makes truth of them. In literature, we are given evidence of being alive. It is a moral ar- gument for living in the world and for a sustained imagination at the same time.” Returning to the democracy of voices message, McCann said, “When we en- ter a story we enter out most stun- ning de1noc- racy. Every- body has a story. Every- body has a deep need to tell a story.” Since Mc- Cann cited his happy chfldhood as the worst possible thing that a writer could want, he has attempted to live his life on the edge, similar to Wolfe’s rep- resentation of “leaving the study.” He has spent months living with the homeless and working withjuvenile de- linquents. Inspired by Wolfe’s The Elec- tric Kool-Aid Acid Test, McCann sug- gested to his friends that they take a bus across America when he was in college. McCann’s friends were all for it, but due to worrying mothers and other obstacles, ' most of them couldn’t take the trip. Mc- Cann said, “It went from a bus, to a van, to a bicycle,” riding 1200 miles across the U.S. for more than a year. McCann said: “I had to learn to be at that edge. In the course of the [the'jour- .7 - ""}"§.’-“*??*'i‘*‘.. ney], I began to understand the idea of the democracy of others. The act of get- ting to know the real world is the art of losing oneself. It makes me feel acutely alive.” ’ McCann added: “You don’t write what you know. You write towards what you want to know. Tom Wolfe has done this majestically. You learn things that you knew but that you weren’t entirely conscious of in the first place. We all have access to it. When we read a book we empathize with characters. You can cry and laugh, and the wonderful thing is that you can wake up without any scars.” Later in the speech, McCann shifted to describe the background behind his novel, Let the Great World Spin. Mc- Cann, who has dual Irish and American citizenship, lives in New York City and was there when the planes crashed into the Twin Towers. On September 11, 2001, McCann’s father was in one of the towers but was able to get out. When McCann’s fa- ther returned home, McCann’s young daughter saw him. and told McCann, “He’s burning.” McCann at first thought she meant that his clothes smelled like smoke until she said, “'He’s burning from the inside out.” McCann said that it was at this point that he knew it would be his job to write a story about 9/1 I. Let the Great World Spin combines the “image of creation” of Philippe Petite walking aitightrope between the Twin Towers on August 7, 1974, and the im- age of destruction that is 9/1 I. McCann said that he wanted to use the tightrope walk as a sustained image in the novel. “lfl could do it properly, maybe it could be about who we are. I was tak- ing this non-fiction event and manipulat- ing it, just like I did when I was a boy. I wanted to write about the symphony of the city,” said McCann. McCann read three passages from his novel throughout his speech. From one passage, he read:“We are all torn be- tween the promise of doom and the dis- appointment of the ordinary. We all live on a tightrope.” In the novel, McCann’s list of char- acters includes prostitutes and an Irish monk. McCann said he enjoys taking up the lives of his characters. He said: “I don’t really want to be myself. I wake up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror and say do I really have to spend 24 hours with this guy. It is so much fun to roll away and be other.” McCann said: “The beauty of lit- ’erature, like Joyce’s Ulysses, like ev- erything I learned from my father, is its ability to last. Fiction doesn’t lie. Fiction shapes things. Literature reveals truth. 1-: -x-.--_-v..-A Imagined comes from real, and real is shaped by imagined.” In application to writing, McCann said:' “There is a degraded discourse around ideas of literature and optimism. I believe we have to go through the dark to recognize the light. The best optimist should be a cynic first.” The speech ended and several ques- tions were asked before those regis- tered for the seminar weekend departed to attend the reception outside the Lee House, followed by dinner in Evans Dining Hall. The weekend continued on Saturday morning with breakfast in the Commons, discussion by W&L English professor Marc Connor and Sociology professor John Eastwood in Stackhouse Theater, 21 book signing and finally lunch , in the Lenfest Center lobby. Professor Connor, speaking of Let the Great World Spin, said during his lecture, “The main character in the book is the city itself, like Ulysses. Time and history unify. McCann gives expression to the things that go on beneath the sur- face.” Connor, described as the “best lectur- er at Washington and Lee,” drew com- parisons between Ralph Ellison and Mc- Cann’s novel. Connor mentioned how one ofthe characters in the novel makes God into a human foe, but that the theol- ogy of the novel is the opposite: God is the mystery. Professor Eastwood described mod- ernization, our age-segregated society and how it gives the sense of disconnec- tion from each other. Eastwood said that as a sociologist he sees connections that are hidden from view and that McCann really exposes this concept in the novel. Eastwood said, “People experience 535 iii themselves as disconnected and yet we are all very closely connected.” "East- wood mentioned social network charts, which show the aggregate data of ties between people, stating that happiness, depression, political attitudes, religiosity and obesity in one person increase the chance of such characteristics in the next connection. " Eastwood, linking his speech to the novel, said, “The vision of people cross- ing paths does not seem so fantastical, but seems to mirror reality. Emergent forms of connectivity in social science dovetail what the novel does.” Eastwood, stating that he has no knowledge of the aesthetics of the novel, said, “Novel and sociology may be twins but they are not identical twins.” After the two professors concluded their presentations, McCann joined them to form a question and answer panel. At one point, a person in attendance asked how McCann discovered his characters. McCann said, “I like the idea of the novelist as an explorer. You set out in a boat and you have no idea where you are going. Many times you might ship- wreck, or head right back to shore with the wind. But sometimes you find a Galapagos, full ofa diversity of charac- ters.” At the end of the panel, Wolfe, who was in attendance for all of the week- end’s events, said, “This has been an extraordinary weekend. [Professor Con- nor’s] address was peerless. So Colum, you should be floating away from here. You don’t even have to catch a plane. God bless you all.” YASHNA NAIDU/0 staff photographer OCR::/Vol_115/WLURG39_RTP_20120402/WLURG39_RTP_20120402_004.2.txt 4 - THE RING-TUM PHI - MONDAY, APRIL 2, 2012 opinions Greek review: Fraternities from a female perspective Fraternity stereotypes taken to a new level. Ladies and gentlemen, an introduction to the brotlzerlzoods at W&L By Georgia Robgrtson c o LU M N I ST Whether or not you are a part of the large percentage of the Washington & Lee community directly involved with Greek life, you are bound to attend at least a few fraternity parties during your four years at this school. With sixteen different fraternities, there are unique traits you can find within each brother- hood. So, in Greek alphabetical order, I present an uncensored female perspec- tive on all IFC fraternities on campus. Beta Theta Pi Frat House Location: Red Square Off Campus Assets: Pole 1, County Seat ' Big Parties: Das Klub ' Review: Beta takes brotherhood to a whole new level. Described as being “one huge bromance,” they definitely take interest in their own. While they tend to be in emotional relationships with their fraternity brothers, Betas are gener- ally nice guys who can hold their own at a party. They have good cocktail par- ties on big weekends and welcome pret- ty much everyone to their parties. They also give off somewhat of an athletic vibe with a significant amount of basket- ball and soccer players, as well as repre- sentation from a few other sports teams. While they don’t host too many big an- nual parties, Das Klub is a must and is pulled off nicely year -after year. While there are a fair share of jerks in any frat, Beta seems to keep a low concentration while.stiIl maintaining fun party guys who aren’t overly cocky, weird or nerdy. Chi Psi ‘ Frat House Location: Behind the BDG Quad Off Campus Assets: None Big Parties: Late Night Review: As a freshman, you are gen- erally warned to steer clear of Chi Psi, especially their infamous late night. And while anonymity may be their biggest adversary in the social ladder, they sure can throw one hell of a party where shit is always guaranteed to get weird. The fraternity is making a decent comeback from near extinction but still tends to send out creepy vibes. Their house is in the most convenient location since it’s essentially on campus, making Late Night all the more accessible. The truth about Late Night is this: ifyou’re trying to get weird, you’re going to go, and so everyone there is down for a good time. lt’s generally a crazy blackout experi- ence since I’m positive no one wants to go there sober. Chi Psi draws crowds from every nook and cranny of campus. Kappa Alpha Frat House Location: Davidson Park —~——7——-—4~ WASHINGTON AND LEE UNIVERSITY -~- -—~T—-— THE RING=TUMPHI- MANAGING EDITOR OPINIONS EDITOR ARTS&L|FE EDITOR SPORTS EDITOR COPY EDITORS STAFF WRITERS STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS BUSINESS MANAGERS DISTRIBUTION STAFF NEWS EDITOR. MISSION STATEMENT: It is the mission of THE RING-TUM PHI to accurately, truthfully, and thoroughly_report news affecting the Washington and Lee community for students, faculty, parents and alumni. Our goal is to look deeper i'nto news affecting campus life and hold leaders accountable. Through our reporting, we aspire to spark discussions that lead to discovering * information that prompts change. THE RING-TUM PHI is published Mondays during the undergraduate school year. THE RING-TUM PHI is a member of The Media Board, which can be reached at mediaboard@wlu.edu. but is otherwise independent,THE RING-TUM PHI welcomes all letters. We reserve the right to _ ' edit submissions for content and length. Letters and advertising do not necessarily reflect the opinion of THE RING-TUM PHI staff. This newspaper observes current court definitions of libel and obscenity. THE RING-TUM PHI UNIVERSITY COMMONS ROOM. 341 WASHINGTON AND LEE UNIVERSITY LEXINGTON, VIRGINIA 24450 TELEPHONE: (540) 458-4060 FAX: (540)458-4059 EMAIL: PHI@WLU.EDU SUBSCRIPTION RATE $45 JULIANNA SATTERLY NEIL HAGGERTY CAMPBELL BURR PAIGE GANCE LEIGH DANNHAUSER CYNTHIA LAM ERIN SCHWARTZ LAUREN HOWRY TOMMY KENT COLLEEN MOORE STEPHEN PECK ANNIE PERSONS SALLY PLATT ANDREW RENALDO ANDREA SISO ERIC WISOTSKY cov FERRELL ’YASHNA NAIDU MATT GOSSETT DAVID WILSON DILLON MYERS BRIAN SIMPSON KANE THOMAS Off Campus Assets: Huffmans, Cab- ins Big Parties: Dirty South, Shit Kick- ers, Beach Party KA is often not considered among the infamous “Big 3” fraternities, although they always seem to be knocking on the door. While each pledge class has a handful of Phi Kap/Phi Delt/SAE rejects, they tend to be your typical meathead- athlete frat bros. Don’t be fooled by their lack of country houses, their big draw parties are always in their basement with a great band and a gazillion people. As one student put it, “You are guaranteed to make out with at least one person at their parties — although it may be a town- ness. Having admitted looks is a factor in their rush process, it’s no surprise that they generally house most of the heart- throbs from each grade. They’re another athletic frat with representatives from baseball, basketball and football. Their pledge class this year was definitely on the small side, but as long as they don’t repeat that next year it shouldn’t be a . real factor. While the Sweet Delts tend to come off as complete assholes, generally speaking they are actually nice guys — if you can get them away from their pledge class. Phi Gamma Delta , Frat House Location: Jackson Ave (block behind Post Office) -They don’t throw any particularly mem- orable parties and tend to have a handful of hard drug users in every pledge class, but are generally good for a hang out. They have a lot of big guys since they draw from both football boys KA didn’t want and rugby. Into J a Rule. Sigma Alpha Epsilon Frat House Location: Davidson Park Off Campus Assets: Hooterville, Most of Windfall Hill Big Parties: Toga Party, Paddy Mur- phy’s, Tequilaville ‘ Review: SAE will hold a pennanent spot in the Big 3 because they are always able to fill a pledge class with attractive, well-off, southern guys — a triple threat ie or a Veemee”. While some of them are the aggressive/predator type at parties and they are certainly not shy about taking you upstairs for a “tour,” a decent amount of their fraternity consists of genuine guys that know how to have a good time - although they tend to lack the ability to sweet talk girls. Also, their fonnal is Old South. Enough said. Kappa Sigma Frat House Location: Davidson Park Off Campus None Big Parties: Basement Parties Review: Luckily for Kappa Sig, Phi Kap got kicked off last year and their fraternity lived to see another pledge class. Rumor has it the founding members and new pledge class have tried to mesh but with little to no success since they are essentially polar opposites. No great off-campus houses yet since they’re still up and coming, but a would-be- Phi Kap pledge class is a promising sign for the fratemity’s social future. They’ve had a few basement par- ties this year, which have been success- ful and met with positive reviews from Assets: . girls. However, if they do end up being the next Phi Kap, the stereotypical ass- hole lax bro will still have a place to call home. Joy. Lambda Chi Alpha Frat House Location: Davidson Park Off Campus Assets: Old House Big Parties: O-Week Old House, Tropical Review: Every freshman starts their W&L career at Old House. lt’s the first off-campus (even though it’s basically on campus) house that every freshman can name, know the frat and be able to navigate to within a week. While they’re definitely not at the top of the food chain, they are really nice, smart guys who genuinely want you to have fun at their parties. They’re definitely host to a large number of guys with political aspira- tions, and while some describe them as nerdy, that’s the extent of bad comments associated with Lambda. Tropical is by far their biggest party and always turns out an absurd goldfish-hungry crowd, but as the year goes on they don’t follow through with on-par parties and become socially indifferent. Although I hear Old House is always welcome to host those wanting to party. Phi Delta Theta Frat House Location: Red Square Off Campus Assets: Pumptown, Hog- back Big Parties: Jell-O Wrestling, Hal- loween (Real and Phi Delt) Review: If you’re looking for a good party, Phi Delt is usually a fair bet. And luckily what they lack in the nice guy de- partment they make up for in attractive- If you ’re trying to get Weird, you ’re going to go, and so everyone there is down for a good time. Off Campus Assets: Sloop Big Parties: Fiji Islands, Dirty Jersey Review: Fiji by far has the nicest fra- ternity house, although it’s underutilized because it’s off by itself and they don’t throw any big or memorable parties. Largely composed of cross country run- ners and Phi Psi rejects, they are definite- ly quirky to the point of bizarre but are sincerely sweet guys ‘that just don’t get the social scene at W&L. They definitely house their fair share of exceptions, but for the most part aren’t much to write home about. Although they don’t have any big country houses or yearly par- ties, you can always manage to have a good time and meet a few nice guys you wouldn’t have otherwise. Phi Kappa Psi Frat House Location: Davidson Park Off Campus Assets: Cabins, Bush- wood Big Parties: Rave, Phi Psi-cadellic Review: Easily most-improved af- ter this year’s rush since they got a big pledge class composed of great guys. Generally throw good parties and are easy to talk to and fun to hang out with, but even their biggest parties of the year are average at best. Another big draw back is the amount of petty drama with- in the fraternity. Still, you will be hard pressed to find a socially awkward ‘Phi Psi, and if they keep their formal at the Greenbrier, they are sure to continue moving up in the ranks. Pi Kappa Alpha Frat House Location: Red Square Off Campus Assets: 9 Tucker Big Parties: Brights & Tights Review: PiKA is one of the few fra- ternities on campus that is hard to stereo- type. There is definitely a faction within the frat of nice, fun guys who just hap- pen to either.be a little weird or friends with people who are a little weird. But an even larger amount of them tend to be losers who think they are much cooler than they actually are. With little to no respect for girls and a drug-related disci- I plinary past, PiKA is quickly becoming socially irrelevant. For the handful of de- cent guys, I’m sorry to lump you in with the rest since you are worth thirty times over the collective worth of the rest of your fraternity. Pi Kappa Phi Frat House Location: Davidson Park Off Campus Assets: Landing Strip Big Parties: Face Fuck, Bombass Review: Pi Phi is sort ofa misfit mix, but it strangely "works heavily in their fa- vor. On nice days you almost always see them out on their lawn playing corn hole and just day chayin’ the day away wheth- er it’s a Tuesday or a Friday afternoon. They are chill, easygoing guys who are a blast to hang out with and get to know without any pressure which stems from their enthusiasm surrounding drinking games, such as thunderstruck, which are easily inclusive and great icebreakers. almost no girl is im- mune to. They project a social elitist attitude that is either genuine or a front for their inse- curities. However, they throw good parties and will always be considered “cool”. One last thing: Coke. Sigma Chi Frat House Location: Davidson Park Off Campus Assets: Cabins, Pole 3 Big Parties: MTV Grind, Filthy Rich, Derby Days Review: Although in recent years their numbers have significantly de- clined, believe it or not, Sigma Chi used to be a good fraternity. Luckily with consistently good annual parties and the tradition of Derby Days they probably aren’t in danger of extinction, especially since the guys they do have generally know how to have a good time. This year has solidified their social downturn, and while Pole 3 parties used to always guar- antee a fun night, they are now just a sad turnout of girlfriends and groupies. Sigma Nu Frat House Location: Red Square Off Campus Assets: Wasteland Big Parties: Shipwreck Review: SNu is your typical nerdy nice guy frat. They are in no sense of the word “bros,” for better or worse. They put a lot of effort into mixers, which is always appreciated, and are always ap- proachable and talkative. Every girl loves to be treated like a princess, and at SNu you will.be treated like a queen. Shipwreck is a fun party and they are definitely working towards having a few more big mixers to draw crowds. You will also always, without a doubt, find the best drinks here. Sigma Phi Epsilon Frat House Location: Davidson Park Off Campus Assets: None Big Parties: Paint Party Review: One Question: What the fiick‘? I honestly could name probably two Sig Eps and have never attended or known someone who has attended a party. Probably nice guys, if you can meet one. “Skull Society” Frat House Location: N/A Off Campus Assets: Pole 4, River House, Downwind Big Parties: Miami Vice Review: Stereotypical frat/lax star. Skulls are full of themselves, but not without reason. Although they are mostly huge douche bags, they are in- telligently witty and have an uncanny ability to entertain. They have a multi- tude of “-isms,” which allows them to make fun of people to their face without them knowing. They also have a strong preference for anything that is “dank.” -Although not ofiicially recognized by the school (or anyone not in the society itself), they are extremely dedicated to advertising themselves i.e. turning off the lights and music at every party and chanting “skulls” for an uncomfortable amount of time. Really only two words come to mind: Douche. Bag. LEXINGTON LIMOIISINEC. TRANSPORTATION LLC www.IaxingIoIiIimo.n(-.I ’ (SIIO) lI6|-I||7 IaxingIonIimo@gahoo.com (SIIO) lI6lI-LIMO SERVING ALL AIRPORT, AMTRACK I; BIIS LOCATIONS \ WE ARE THE ONLY LOCALLY OWNED (.1 LEGALLY OPERATED TRANSPORTATION BUSINESS IN THE AREA I.icenst'.(I Insurml Iiomlt-.(I DMII# 829 OCR::/Vol_115/WLURG39_RTP_20120402/WLURG39_RTP_20120402_005.2.txt MONDAY, APRIL 2, 2012 5 - THE RING-TUM PHI- opinions _YC)L(): Thank you, Drake Is an important message becoming a joke? Persons suggests taking Drake is motto to heart and living life to the fullest “Tell me. what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious /ife?”-Mary Oliver “You only , live once, that ’s the motto, ni--a ‘ Yolo > We bout it every day, «every day, every day Like we sit- ting on the bench, ni-—a we don't really play Every day, every day, f—-k what any- body say Cant seem ‘em cause the money in the way"-Drake Yolo. “You only live once.” This phrase, coined by Drake in his recent song, “The Motto,” has become a com- mon vernacular phrase almost overnight. And why shouldn’t it? “Yolo” is essen- tially just another version of the cliche By Annie Persons co LU M N I ST that urges one to live their lives to the fullest, because “each day is a gift, that’s why they call it ‘the present,” and “you never know if today could be your last.” These phrases are cliches for a reason, too—-despite sounding trite and over- used, it is true that we as humans have no real control over our ultimate living or dying. . .so why not live life to the full- est while you can? What is disturbing is that rather than be simply added to the vault of afore- mentioned cliches, the phrase “Yolo” has become almost a joke in youth cul- ture. For example, the other day I was at a party and overheard a friend wonder- ing if she should take one more shot... the response of the person next to her was “Do it, YOLO!!”...I, for one, am a proponent of living life to the fullest, don’t get me wrong, but where does one draw the line between living vivaciously and living recklessly? Likewise, there is even a twitter account now in existence called simply @YOLOjokes. Examples of tweets include “reenacting the titanic scene with rose and jack in a bathtub. #YOLO” and “trick or treating even though it’s not Halloween #YOLO.” While these tweets are certainly intended as jokes, if someone wants to do some- thing silly that would perhaps break a so- ~ cial nomi, why shouldn’t they? IfI want to wear a fanny pack out to a frat party (seriously though, why did those things go out of style?) why should I let fear of judgment by people I honestly don’t know or care about, or even people I do, affect me? Yolo has become a sarcas- _ tic phrase tacked onto the proposal that someone do something stupid. It is used to justify in a humorous way an action that has been deemed by the public as unacceptable or even just insane. But in all seriousness, what has happened to so- ciety when the notion ofliving one’s life to the fullest has been reduced to joke form? Am I missing something, or do we not really only live once? I’m not saying that people should live by following their every whim, and of course common sense is a factor. I am admittedly the last person you will ever see shirking responsibility for the sake of doing something without abandon. But it is this rigidity within me that makes me pause to reconsider the notion of YOLO. Instead of looking at life in such a black and white way, crazystupidYOLO or so called ‘reality,’ we should think of gations to the people in my life and so- ciety at large. As a freshman in college, living to the fullest should incorporate respect for the opportunities offered to me here—academically as well as so- cially. In other words, while I won’t go I, for one, am a proponent of living life to the full- est, don ’t get me wrong, but where does one draw the line between living vivaciously and living reck- lessly? every act as an opportunity to live life to the fullest in a way that satisfies the demands of day-to-day life and the de- mands of enjoyment. I would shudder to look back on my life and see only an endless parade of grey days filled with studying and nights ‘stayed in.’ Howev- er, I would shudder equally as much if I felt I squandered my life away by acting selfishly and without regard to my obli- Adventures of an au pair Let’s face it, the summer after freshman year is really the last year you can af- ford to mess around. After it’s into the big ' world of intern- ‘ ships, CV-pad- .é~ . ‘, q . ding summer By‘ 53 My i=- an "“P"“‘*'?CeS COLUMMST and the like. So what to do with the last three months of pure freedom? Well, you could sit around your parents’ house and hang out with your old high school friends or..... You could go to a foreign sophomore year 4 country and have a fun adventure! Spe- cifically, you could become an au pair. Now some would argue that “au pair” is just a fancy way of saying “nanny” that is supposed to make the job of watching small people appear a bit more enticing. I would disagree. I spent the last sum- mer in Madrid, Spain, hanging out with a Spanish family. It was literally the best summer of my life. Being an au pair is more than just watching kids for a few hours a day. If you’re lucky, it can be educational, fun, and party-filled. So if you don’t have plans for the summer yet here are a few reasons to check it out. Firstly, the application process can be really fast. Agencies differ, but it is totally possible to apply and be accepted and matched with a family within two to three weeks. Plenty of time from now until May. Secondly, kids actually kind of rock.’ I got matched with a family with one 3-year-old. His name was Marco. I seri- ously can’t overstate how cute this kid was. He had huge brown puppy dog . eyes, was about a foot tall, and didn’t speak any English. Adorable. Needless to say he had me wrapped around his finger in no time and I actually came to love playing kid games again. It was like second childhood. That being said, com- ing back to school after having spent all summer with crayons, bubbles, and rub- ber duckies was a bit of an adjustment. Location, location, location. This matters so much when choosing where to be an au pair. Big cities are the way to go. While a family may own a love- ly villa in the country-side this place is likely to be isolated. So unless you never want a break from the fam (which you iiliair. = I cuinm2.ni,efiwmiii-iiilea2eiliaims;l . inane By Andrea Siso I /I COLUMNISTN ._ ‘I Whereveryou’re going for Spring Break, this is way cooler. / Christmas in the lfhumbu A trek to Everest Base Campin Nepal December 14 -- January 2 ’/ I , I07 N Main Street‘ 462£000 ”Pure Eats is Lexington’s newest slice of heaven.” -The Washington Post (12/30/11) Premium local burgers, fresh doughnuts, fries, Homestead Creamery milk shakes, daily soups and stews...only the good stuff. -\ wwwchristmasinthekhumbu.com lacebook.com/PureEatsYu_m for menu updates, and news coming soon: beer! will, naturally), cities are the way to go. As long as you have that you are pretty- good to go; most families who get au pairs are rather wealthy. I lived in a high rise apartment in the middle of Madrid. There was a pool right outside our door. as far as to suggest “laying in a puddle and screaming ‘I’m drowning!’” or “us- ing white paint on my teeth so you never have to brush them again,” I urge you to find a balance in your daily life, and con- sider the true meaning of YOLO, jokes aside. Wear your fanny pack out. Afler all, you do only live once. Looking for a summer of travel, child care, and partying? Columnist Sally Platt thinks you should be an au pair time I stayed out till 6am, congratulating me on “fitting in” and “adjusting to the Spanish way of life.” All this being said, this is not for men. Agencies don’t accept them because families just don’t want them. I guess My family was ecstatic the first time I stayed out till 6am, congratulating me on ‘fitting in” and “aajust- ing to the Spanish way of life. It was a ten minute walk to Sol, the Pra- do, Retiro, and the Royal Palace (basi- cally the highlights of Madrid). Another great reason to go au-pairing is the language factor. Countries all over the world have au pair agencies (al- though they are more common in Eu- rope). So whatever language you are trying to learn, you can become really fluent from a summer of doing this. Many families will speak little to no English so picking up on the language is really an imperative. That being said, you hear it non-stop so it isn’t hard. I came back practically fluent in Span- ish. ' Families in Spain, Europe, and I hope everywhere else love vacations. This means you go on a lot of vaca- tions. I went to the Mediterranean coast one week, Santander for another, and even made it down to Africa for a bit. Luckily for me all the aunts and uncles of the kid, Mafco, came along too. While they were all oohing and awing over how cute their little nephew was I got loads of free time torlie on the beach and sample the ample nightlife that Spain is so famous for. People in Europe love partying. Even old people. There is absolutely no taboo over drinking or staying out all night. My family was ecstatic the first iIIIll=l£l=l=Ii ll aprons haven’t quite made it across the gender divide yet. The only male au pair I met was, shall we say, a little more than south of pink. So if you want a sweet summer filled with new people, parties, and adorable small people you should apply to be an au pair. You’ll have your language re- quirement in the bag and not be bothered by your parents telling you to “get a job” all summer. Adventure is there for the taking! 7 \\ \\lll\lilll\ \\l) I ll l\l\l l\'\| l) Rclviil-li\.iii \l(|«l'\l i-|\\\'|ilHill www.alvindennis,.com MOCK CONVENTION CONGRATULATES WINNER or THE 2012 STOREFRONT DECORATING COMPETITION FINE MEN’s AND LADIES’ APPAREL TUXEDO RENTALS & sALEs STUDENT CHARGE AccouNTs CARRY BARBOUR LINE & MoRE 540.463.5383 ‘Thanks to all contest 102 w. Washington St. OCR::/Vol_115/WLURG39_RTP_20120402/WLURG39_RTP_20120402_006.2.txt 6 - THE RING-TUM PHI- APRIL 2, 2012 arts&|ife MONDAY, 0 Energy issues, addressed Professor lectured last Tuesday on the future of energy and how we can invest now By Colleen Moore 5 TA F F w R I T E R “The IQ of people drops about 20 points when they are talking about en- ergy,” joked Professor Jim Kahn at the opening of his lecture last Tuesday night. Kahn said a coordinated policy to ad- dress future energy use should be based on four ideas: 1. Quit crying about gasoline prices 2. “Drill baby drill” is not an energy policy 3. Corn is evil , 4. End the use of coal in the next ten years Energy use is one of the most press- ing problems of the 21*‘ century and we must begin making difficult and compro- mising choices for the long run now. In order to begin to frame the discus- sion about energy policies, Kahn said, we need to recognize the role of government in facilitating research and development as well as technological innovation. “With a problem as vexing as the energy problem, with solutions as com- plicatedas the energy problem, we need policy,” said Kahn. ’ Kahn’s comprehensive plan to ad- dress our energy problem rested on sev- eral issues. First, with any change we make or any technology we improve upon, there is a possibility ofirreversibility. “We are stuck with the negative con- sequences of the old technology, even if better technology comes along,” said Kahn. One example of this is the “drill baby drill” policy, which results in ir—' reversible increases in atmospheric con- centrations of greenhouse gases. Even sources of alternative energy, including hydro-power and nuclear power, have long lived environmental costs. The second issue is diversification. There will always be capacity con- straints with any policy. Kahn suggests diversifying our energy portfolio to re- duce this limitation. The third issue Kahn talked about revolved around extemalities, which are the unintended consequences of our en- ergy use. Unfortunately, these extemali- ties are huge — global climate change, environmental problems and even na- tional security. For every $500 billion dollars spent on the military, the social cost per gallon of gas increases about ten additional dollars. The other points Kahn spoke on were the directionality of wealth and car- bon, greater innovation potentials, the sequence of the effects of our choices and finally, alleviation of poverty. Kahn pointed out that in the last five years we have doubled our estimates of solar en- ergy limits, but we still need to be aware of the consequences of our decisions. “Our choices in the short—run are go- ing to affect our options in the medium and 1ong—run, and our choices in the medium run will affect our option in the long-run,” said’ Kahn. Professor Kahn’s recommendations for a policy that addresses each of these points involves correctly pricing fossil fuels, investing in alternative technolo- gies and developing partnerships with other countries. “The future of the global planet depends on what the rapidly in- dustrializing countries are doing,” said Kahn. The United States can’t simply deal with these issues domestically — the energy problem is a global problem. More specifically, Kahn believes that moving to biofuels is a real possibility. United Airlines and TAM Airlines have both experimented with this recently. We also need to invest in rechargeable hybrid cars and penalize the destruction of ecosystems while rewarding carbon cycling and sequestration. Kahn argues, “We need to make it costly for people to convert ecosystems.” The key is to think long-tenn and not expect immediate payback of en- ergy investments. Many of our energy actions have social costs that we don’t fully recognize. Moving forward with a structured and coordinated policy plan ‘' requires the aid of the government to sponsor research and development for technological innovation and for expan- sion our energy options. How can we afford to do all this? Kahn responds, “How can we afford not to?” Spotlight on a student director Student directed “Two Rooms ” involves Mindbending and the entire W&L Theatre department By Lauren Howry 5 TA F F w R IT E R For the first time ever, the Washington and Lee theater department and Mind- bending, a student organization, have joined together to present a play. “Two Rooms” by Lee Blessing will show to- night and tomorrow night at 7 p.m. in the Maslansky Rehearsal Hall. Mary Rodriguez ’l3, theater major and vice president of Mindbending, di- rects the play with a crew and cast made up of both faculty and fellow students. It is atypical to have a student direc- tor, because it’s like trying to juggle with no hands. Mary said, “Directing is a lot of responsibility. You are in control of every aspect of the play, but not directly. So you have to find a way to shape it all without stifling it.” But Mary isn’t putting on a one- woman show. She has a cast of talented actors to help bring Blessing’s work to life: Jeni Pritchett ‘l2, Jesse Mozingo ‘I3, and two first-years, Nick Lehotsky and Caroline Crichlow-Ball. They have all contributed hours of effort to bring this production to fruition. It is a play that tugs at the audience’s nerves as it delves into the emotional I fallout of a hostage situation in Beirut. As Mary describes, “The show is very sad--but cathartic--and very relevant to what’s happening in the world today”. The plot is wrapped in political motiva- tions thatspeak to a broad audience. The entire show is a collaborative effort by the Theatre Department to show support and openness to hands- on learning experiences. All the behind the scenes action, including costumes, lighting and publicity, is being done by pairs made up of faculty members and students. No tickets are necessary to attend the show. WASHINGTON AND LEE UNIVERSITY STORE UNDERGRADUATE STUDENTS need more CASH FOR SPRING BREAK? Finzlr/eed exams? Before /vending /eeme, bn'ng_)/our books to dye E/rod Commons Atrium CASH for your books! Saturday,April7.............. Monday thru Friday, April 9 — 13. I (Walk away with up to 50% of of thenew price in CASH.) Help W&L provide more used, lower priced books for future terms. . Buyback will be available in the Elrod Commons Atrium for 8 days! Thursday Friday, April 5 & 6. . . . . . . . . ~ 9 a.rn. — 6 p.m. 10a.m.—4p.rn. 9 am. — 6 pm. I ' >'\ OCR::/Vol_115/WLURG39_RTP_20120402/WLURG39_RTP_20120402_007.2.txt I ' Men's swim coach 0 MONDAY, APRIL 2,2012 7 - THE RING-TUM PHI- ANDREW RENALIDO Between finishing term papers and preparing for final exams, this is one of the busiest times of the year for students. In addi- tion to caffeine and the promise of an upcoming break, sports are keeping me going. That’s because April is thankfully the best sports month of the calendar year. Let’s start with March Madness. After watching our brackets go to shambles during the hectic and always enjoyable first few E sports S'l‘El’llEN PECK For a sports fan, I don’t know how much better it can get than the month of October. It’s an interesting argument. On one hand, and as Ricky Renaldo so eloquently put it, you have April with the Masters, the NFL draft, MLB opening day, and NBA and NHL playoffs. Being from Michi- gan, April is also the month where the sun actually begins to show its face after another dismal and seemingly endless winter. So that’s nice. rounds of the tournament, we are ready to a crown a tournament winner in April. We look forward to the best players cementing their one-year legacies and laying the groundwork for Nike to re- release their college jerseys as cool collectibles from their “ama- teur” days. The final contestants will hopefully treat us to some spectacular plays that will feature prominently in future YouTube compilations set to epic music. This is April’s appetizer. What’s the best sports month of the year? Andrew and Stephen debate which month is better in terms of sports, April or October. But the month of October is the one time of the year when you physically do not have enough TV’s to watch every sporting event that is on.‘ First off, October belongs‘-to Major League Baseball. Baseball usually manages to cram all three rounds of its playoffs in October, resulting in some of the sport’s most memorable moments when the games matter most. We then move to the Masters. Cue CBS’s commercials with sappy piano chords and Jim Nantz reminding us that this is a tra- dition unlike any other. The history, azaleas and green jacket make the Masters the best golf event of the year and a reminder of why sports and beautiful spring weather are a great match. If golf is not quite your thing, the major league baseball season also starts around the same time. With everyone starting the year on level ground in the standings, opening day is always full of excitement and optimism. The start of baseball season is also a reminder that summer and lazy days in the nearest ballpark are just around the corner. It means that SportsCenter will be- gin to feature an obnoxious amount of baseball highlights as well, but this is a small concession. knows that the playoffs are like a new season with higher stakes and chippier action. The best players start performing at the peak of their powers, the most rugged players start growing the gnarliest beards (in hockey’s case), and coaches start doing more awkward in-game interviews with Craig Sager (in basketball’s case).. It’s incredibly’ entertaining, and there are games to watch every night. Unfortunately there’s no football in April, but we do get treated to the NFL draft. Besides being Mel Kiper’s piece de resistance, the draft is also a well of hope for fans of every franchise. Will that quarterback that your team is drafting lead his teammates to greatness, mediocrity, or ruin? We usually never know the answer until several years down the road, but we still love digesting analysis that less than half of the time proves to be correct. If that’s not enough for you, the Champions League of European soccer plays quarterfinal and semifinal matches in April. If you’re not familiar, this competition features the best club teams in Europe. The final is the Super Bowl of club soccer. The possibility exists this year that Barcelona will play archrival Real Madrid in the final. This would be like Duke playing UNC for the national championship in basketball, if Durham and Chapel Hill were cosmopolitan cit- ies that fought on opposite sides of a civil war less than 100 years ago. April thus brings not only a multitude of sports action, but very meaningful sporting events. It marks the culmination of some sports’ seasons and the exciting beginning of others. So as you get back to your mountain of schoolwork, rest assured that the best sports month of the year is here to help you cope. As we get further into April, the NBA and NHL playoffs begin. Any fan of these two leagues! Don Larsen’s perfect game. Kirk Gibson’s hobbled pinch-hit home run. Bill Mazeroski’s walk-off bomb to lift the Pirates over the Yankees. All iconic October moments. . Reggie Jackson’s heroics in the 1977 and ’78 playoffs earned him the lifelong distinction of Mr. October. Mr. April just doesn’tihave that same ring to it. October also owns four (sometimes five if we are lucky) weekends of professional and college football. For a nation that decidedly revolves around football, this is nirvana, and something that April lacks. - Last October, we saw the Lions beat the Bears on Monday Night Football and start 5-0 for the first time since I956. We saw surprisingly hot starts by the Bills and 49ers. We saw the Packers roll through the entire league. We saw Jim Schwartz and Jim Harbaugh almost get in a fistfight. And we saw the emergence of some guy named Tebow. In the collegiate ranks, last October gave us a host of upsets (Auburn over South Carolina, Wake Forest over FSU, UVA over Georgia Tech, GT over Clemson, Texas Tech over Oklahoma) and memo- rable games (Michigan State’s hail mary to beat Wisconsin, Oklahoma blows out Texas in the Red River Shootout, Stanford’s epic triple-overtime win over Southern Cal). And of course with all this football, -comes tailgates, fantasy football, endless Tim Tebow talk, Lee Corso swearing on the College Gameday set, Erin Andrews, and NFL Redzone. Just for good measure October marks the beginning of the NBA season, allowing us as fans to once again direct our unwarranted but wildly intense hatred at LeBron James, listen to Charles Bark- ley destroy the English language, and watch Javale McGee do something unbelievably dumb. The NHL season also begins, but the good people here in Virginia are probably more excited about the four NASCAR races in October than they are about watching Canadians and Russians ice skate. Although October marks the end of summer, it also brings us the best holiday of the year: Hal- loween. ' Although W&L may not celebrate it as well as other larger state schools do (for reasons that the gentlemen ofthis school understand), Halloween at its very essence, is an incredible holiday. What other time can you dress up as a superhero and get free candy from neighbors‘? Never. The answer is never. - There is nothing like October. resigns ' Coach Shinofield intends to pursue other professional opportunities By Leigh Dannhauser SPORTS EDITOR Washington and Lee’s men’s swim I’ team coach Joel Shinofield officially re- signed last week. Shinofield first came to W&L as a student. He graduated as a biology major in 1994. He returned less than ten years later after becoming W&L’s men’s swim coach and the director of aquatics. Shinofield told Generalssports.com, “I am grateful to Athletic Director Jan Ha- thom, former Athletic Directors Chuck O’Connell and Mike Walsh, as well as President Ruscio for giving me the op- portunity to coach the sport I love at my alma mater.” Shinofield has made the most of his I opportunity since his return in 2003. In his very first year he won the Bluegrass Mountain Conference Coach of the Year. Other accolades include being a recipient of the American Swimming Coaches As- sociation Award of Excellence in 2008, as well as coaching W&L to Bluegrass Mountain Conference championship vic- tories on four occasions. I This season his team placed fourth at the BMC Championships. Many of his athletes moved on a qualified for nation- als. That group placed 16'‘ overall in Indi- ana two weeks ago. Three athletes earned four separate individual All-American certificates while three separate relays teamed ‘up to earn All-American certifi- cates as well. Shinofield has said that he has been honored to coach his athletes at W&L for nine years. _ “They have had a great deal of success in and out of the pool,” Shinofield told Generalssports.com. “I’m proud of the way that they achieved their goals.” enema went: tum: animate, t7".aa.m.t Have you stopped by Career Services forhelp with: Plans for Summer Practice Interviews Résurnés 8 Cover letters Career Services OCR::/Vol_115/WLURG39_RTP_20120402/WLURG39_RTP_20120402_008.2.txt 8 - THE RING-TUM PHI - sports MONDAY, APRIL 2, 2012 in the numbers 6 / The total number of weeks that the New York Knicks expect Jeremy Lin to miss due to a meniscus tear. Lin, who injured his knee in a recent game versus the Detroit Pistons, is going to have surgery next week. He is expected to miss the rest of the regular season and is only expected to return this season if the Knicks make a run in the playoffs. # The total number of first place votes out of a possible 40 that Baylor women's basketball player Brittney Griner received to win The Associated Press’ women's college basketball Player of the Year award. Second place went to De|eware’s Elena Delle Donne who received two of the remaining first place votes. The voting occurs before the women's NCAA tournament begins. 3:48 The total amount of time that the Kansas Jayhawks were lead- ing in their Final Four game of the NCAA tournament on Sat- urday night. They defeated Ohio State 62-59 and will face the University of Kentucky in the final on Monday. 105 The age of Allene Wynn who celebrated her birthday by being a guest of the Los Angeles Lakers at their game versus the New Orleans Hornets. ——————+ soapbox “This is my 10"’ world championship and I can’t really describe how it finally feels to reach that dream. Deep in my heard I knew I had a chance to win. I trained so hard and I have beautiful programs, my main goal was to show how much I love figure skating. - 25year-old Carolina Koslnor afinrmnnlngthe wom'en's woridflgunskaflnguuo. Lastyaarshepiaoedthird and In 2008shewonihesliwrmedal,fmmS|.com “I am 100 percent committed to building the Bobcats into a contender and have no plans to sell the team. ” — Michael Jordan, maiorlly ownder of the Chanotte Bobcats, after it was reported on Sunday that he is thinking about selling the team due to their poor perfonnance this season. So far they have the NBA's worst record at 7-43. SPORTS EDiTOR The Washington and Lee men’s lacrosse team allowed just two goals on their way to defeat ODAC opponent Randolph at Wildcat Stadium on Saturday. The Generals led in nearly all aspects of the game. They outshot the Wildcats 54-12, grabbed 24 more ground balls, and won 18 of 27 faceoffs. As a result the Generals led on the score- board after 60 minutes of play. The final score was 2 1 -2. Washington and Lee struck first with two early goals by junior attackman Mac Means. By Eric Wisotsky 5 TA F F w R 1 T E R The Washington and Lee baseball team came out on the losing end ofa pitcher’s duel on Wednesday, falling to Bridgewater College by a score of 2-0. Despite allowing only one run through sev- en innings on the mound, senior pitcher Jody Davis was charged with the hard luck loss. The 22"‘ ranked Eagles pushed across their run in the top of the sixth inning. Two singles and a walk loaded the bases for Christian Armstrong, who lifted a fly ball to left field to score Jonathan Mason from third base. Bridgewater would add an insurance run in the top of the ninth by way ofa two out single by senior catcher Devin Snow. The Generals’ bats were quieted by Bridgewater starter Jonathan Lucas. The se- nior southpaw allowed only two singles in seven innings of work. He was followed by freshman lefthander Corey Armentrout, who earned the save by pitching the final two frames. Armentrout held the Generals without a hit and surrendered only one walk. At the plate, the Generals were led by ju- nior third baseman Chris Nault and senior center fielder Mike Decembrino, who each went 1-3 with a single. Junior shortstop Jona- than Stutts finished the game with three walks. The Generals returned to action on Satur- day afternoon as they squared off in a double header against Randolph-Macon. The first game began at 1:00 p.m. By Leigh Dannhauser SPORTS EDITOR The Washington and Lee women’s lacrosse team went 3-0 this week in ODAC play. They played both Sweet Briar and Randolph on Tuesday and then won at Virginia Wesleyan on Saturday. The Generals traveled to Sweet Briar for an afternoon contest that they won 23-2. They were led on the scoreboard by three who scored three goals apiece. Sophomore Mer- edith Lavin and seniors Maddie McKaig and Alli Shearin each got three past Sweet Briar goalies first-year Caroline Baker and sopho- more Megan Link. Four other Generals also found the back of the net multiple times. Sophomore "Olivia Hurt and junior Jessie Edington scored the lone goals for the Vixens. For Washington and Lee senior Jennifer Linder and first-year Cara Mulligan split time in the net,,allowing one goal in 30 minutes of play apiece. A Immediately after the victory, the Generals ondeck Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday Women’s Tennis The Wildcats responded with a goal from ju- nior midfielder Jon O’Hara in the first quar- ter, but they were unable to answer any more of the Generals’ assault until another goal by O’Hara in the fourth quarter. Between Wildcat goals, the Generals scored 18 goals over the about 47 minutes of play. Means led the way for the Generals. Means scored five goals and grabbed six ground balls. ' Just 3 of the shots for the Wildcats were on target. First-year goalie Warren Berenis made the sole save for the Generals while playing the first half. Sophomore Dylan Florig did not re-boarded the bus and rode to their 7:00 pm game against Randolph. The Generals won handily again for the second time of the day. They beat Randolph 21-2. Washington and Lee scored 15 in the first half, before cooling a little bit and netting six in the second. First-year midfielder Taylor Klevenz scored one in each half for Randolph to be the lone Wildcat to score. - Six Generals found the back ofthe net mul- tiple times. Shearin led the way with four while sophomore Katie Hagen scored three times. Senior Christina Benedetti, McKaig, sopho- more Margaret Klein, and first-year Catherine Klienedinst scored two goals apiece. The Generals continued ODAC play on Saturday when they traveled to Virginia Wes- leyan and won 16-5. After the third ODAC victory of the week, the Generals are now 5-0 Generals slay Wildcats Means scores five en route to victory By Leigh Dannhauser ' face a shot while playing the third quarter and fellow sophomore Patrick Jennings allowed one goal while playing the fourth quarter. For the Wildcats, senior Kevin McCracken played the full game in goal. He stopped 17 of 38 shots that he faced. The Generals are now 6-6 overall and 2-2 in the ODAC. _ q Washington and Lee will play their next game at 7:00 pm on Wednesday when they host 13th-ranked ODAC opponent Roanoke. Washington and Lee outdueled by Bridgewater Generals get just two hits in pitchers ’battle PHOTO COURTESY OF GENERALSSPORTSCOM W&L stays undefeated in ODAC Women 3 lacrosse wins three in one week in the conference and 9-3 overall. Washington and Lee finished the first half up just three, but the team was able to score five unanswered goals en route to scoring ten in the second half. Mulligan allowed three in the first half and just two goals in the second as Washington and Lee took a commanding lead. Once again the Generals were led by the strong performances of Benedetti, who scored two goals and had game—high four ground balls, McKaig, who scored a game—high four goals, and Lavin and Shearin, who scored three goals apiece. Junior Taylor Harding scored a team-high two goals for the Marlins. Senior Michelle Mace spent a little over 40 minutes in the net, allowing ten goals and saving four. Se- ' nior goalie Brittany Macknew saved two and allowed six goals in a little less than twenty minutes of play. Men’s Lacrosse vs Roanoke 7 pm B a s e b a I l at Bridgewater 4 pm vs Ferrum 5 pm vs EM 5pm Men’s Tennis Riding ODAC Champs iHSA Zones G o l f at Piedmont Spring invite t Piedmont Spring invite Women’s Lacrosse at Bridgewater 4:30 pm O